Cimmerian September: Five Things I Think I Think – REH Edition

Monday, September 28, 2026 Bob Byrne Comments 1 comment

Welcome back to the final week of Cimmerian September. I realized that I’ve never done a Ten Things I Think I Think for REH. Now THAT seems remiss of me. So, we’ll ease into that with Five Things.

1) CONAN IS A ROGUE

Of course, “Rogues in the House” (which I wrote about for Hither Came Conan) is a favorite story among fans. It’s right there in the name. I’ve been re-reading some Solomon Kane lately, and I revisited El Borak last month. Those two are honorable men, fighting for justice, or nation, or to vanquish evil. Conan has his barbarian’s sense of honor. But he’s after wine, women, and money. He does ‘noble’ things, but that’s not what’s driving him. He’s a lusty sword swinger out for an adventurous life.

Sometimes I see the makings of a Conan story while I’m reading Kane and El Borak. But the character motivation is usually different. Doesn’t make it better or worse, but it does make the heroes different.

2) LIBRARY OF AMERICA?

I’m pleased that writers like Jim Thompson, Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett, and even Ursula Leguin (fantasy, not Pulp), have gotten LoA volumes. And the Lovecraft book came out in 2005. But Howard is still on the outside. Yes, they included “The Black Stone” in a horror anthology, but that’s it.

REH is Conan. I get that’s the public view. And Conan is a Sherlock Holmes giant. We’re talking foundational sword and sorcery. But the guy was writing solid stuff for multiple genres. His historicals were excellent, and of course, there’s Kane, and El Borak. And…you can keep listing stories in different genres. I think he’s America’s greatest Pulpster, and I’m a huge Dashiell Hammett, and John D. MacDonald, fan. The Library of America needs to put out an REH edition.

3) THEY HAD MOMOA

Conan the Barbarian was the 122^nd highest-grossing movie of 2011. It grossed $22 million domestically, and $63 million total, on a $90 million budget. No surprise there was no sequel. I’ve watched it 1.5 times – it’s not very good. A solid cast played poorly written characters, and the script was lame.

It’s a shame, as the Conan ‘property’ had a future action superstar before he broke big. The first two Conan movies launched Ah-nuld into his star status. He was just a bodybuilder with an accent in 1982. We might have gotten three good Conan movies if they could have given Momoa a decent script (I don’t know, maybe something kind of written by REH?). He was a fan of the Frazetta Conan – they had a guy who was going to be a megastar. Who was invested in the role. And now, in 2026, we’re still waiting for a decent Conan movie. Or streaming series, even.

4) KING CONAN? NO!!!!!

I like the humor in the second Conan movie. It wasn’t as bad a sequel as it gets dumped on for being, But we do NOT need an 80 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger. It will be like watching David Lee Roth try to sing Van Halen (Google search if you don’t know what I’m talking about). There were plenty of opportunities to make a third Arnold Conan movie. But the expiration date is well past.

I’ve got the ‘King Conan: Crown of Iron” script for a third Milius/Arnold film. I’ll write about that sometime. The second movie was written by Stanley Mann, after he completely reworked one written by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway.

5) REH COULD WRITE

Yeah. That’s a real scoop, right? There are How To’ books that say you should never let your writing pull the reader out of the story. You don’t want it to call attention to itself. Yeah, for most writers, that’s probably good advice. But I’ll be reading a paragraph from a Howard story, and I’ll just stop and re-read it. It’s usually something descriptive – not a battle scene. But I just let the scene soak in my mind. The hills, the stars, the sky, the trees: I’m more invested in the story because I can ‘feel’ the environment around me.

I read a lot of good writers: Robert R. McCammon, John D. MacDonald, Hammett, Tolkien, Tony Hillerman, etc. I don’t stop and re-read with them (though Hillerman can paint a landscape that impacts you as you read it). Only Howard pulls this off for me. His facility with words was outstanding.

Bob Byrne’s ‘A (Black) Gat in the Hand’ made its Black Gate debut in 2018 and has returned every Summer since.

His ‘The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes’ column ran every Monday morning at Black Gate from March, 2014 through March, 2017. And he irregularly posts on Rex Stout’s gargantuan detective in ‘Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone.’ He is a member of the Praed Street Irregulars, and founded www.SolarPons.com (the only website dedicated to the ‘Sherlock Holmes of Praed Street’).

He organized Black Gate’s award-nominated ‘Discovering Robert E. Howard’ series, as well as the award-winning ‘Hither Came Conan’ series. Which is now part of THE Definitive guide to Conan. He also organized 2023’s ‘Talking Tolkien.’

He has contributed stories to The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories — Parts III, IV, V, VI, XXI, and XXXIII.

He has written introductions for Steeger Books, and appeared in several magazines, including Black Mask, Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine, The Strand Magazine, and Sherlock Magazine.

You can definitely ‘experience the Bobness’ at Jason Waltz’s ’24? in 42′ podcast.

MISC MUSINGS RELATED TO REH & HIS WORKS

CONAN – Reviews & Pastiches

CONAN – Comics & Misc. Essays

CONAN – Hither Came Conan

CONAN – Gaming