Goth Chick News: Featuring Tabitha, Goth Girl in Training
During Goth Chick’s absence she’s asked our resident Goth Chick in training, eleven year-old Tabitha, author of our recent review of The House of Dead Maids, to fill in.
Tabitha: What exactly are we supposed to be doing?
Black Gate: Your friend Goth Chick is on vacation this week. She’s asked you to be her replacement on the Black Gate blog.
Tabitha: Goth Chick? The one we go to scary movies with?
Black Gate: Yes.
Um… okay. So what am I supposed to do?
Black Gate: How about you pick some of the scariest books you’ve ever read, and tell me about them.
I’m more of a scary movie person.
BG: But… you’ve told me about a bunch of scary books you’ve read recently.
They weren’t very scary. And there’s only one that jumps to mind: All The Lovely Bad Ones.
BG: I’m scared already. Tell me about it.
The six-foot grim reaper is out in the front yard pointing eerily at the tombstones poking out of the grass. The fog machines are strategically placed; one in the bushes and one in the coffin leaning against the house. There’s a sound-activated specter that will slide from tree to gutter, moaning and waving its arms at the slightest hint of a visitor. And most important, there’s an eight-foot python curled around the mailbox.
It’s the first of October and that means the countdown has started.
“For the love of God, not another one!”
A few weeks back at the 
On the whole, I’m not opposed to traveling with boys. Generally speaking they are amusing companions particularly when refusing to ask directions, thereby winding you through mildly interesting places while attempting to locate the desired destination sans MapQuest. Along the route, in an effort to distract their hapless passengers from all the pointless meandering, they can generally be counted on for lively and revealing conversation about former girlfriends, prior arrests and entirely icky things done in frat houses; all of which become prime blackmail fodder for later use.
Have you ever woken up in an extremely good mood, found you were left enough hot water for a skin-peeling shower, stepped on the scale and found it down two pounds in spite of the bacchanalia of the night before? Have you ever leapt out of bed feeling euphoric and thought, “I really love my life?”
Has anyone ever asked what you would grab out of your house if it was on fire and you could only make one trip? Or maybe the question was, if you knew you were going to be stranded on a deserted island, what would you take with you?