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Goth Chick News: We’re Bats About New DVD Releases!

Goth Chick News: We’re Bats About New DVD Releases!

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image0041The holidays are over and according to AccuWeather, approximately 70% of the United States has snow on the ground and for a whole lot of you, this may be just a rare enough occurrence that for the moment, you’re mildly amused. But trust me when I tell you the novelty of throwing it at each other, sliding down it, or for a select group of you, writing your name in it, is going to wear off. And that’s when the cabin fever sets in.

The reality is that 70% of otherwise (fairly) stable Americans are trapped like rats with family members, classmates or co-workers for another two months at minimum. We are all now horror-movie fodder, Steven King style, holed up without sunlight and fresh air; susceptible to maddeningly repetitive sounds like the British accent on that lizard in the insurance commercials, until the only remaining coherent thought is squishing him flat in your uninsured Hummer.

Or maybe that’s just me.

The point is, you’re in need of mind-diverting entertainment until the thaw comes; before you end up being the subject of an HBO special and some Dancing With the Stars contestant is playing you… badly.

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Goth Chick News: Unwrapping the 80’s… Again

Goth Chick News: Unwrapping the 80’s… Again

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last-starfighter“The 25th anniversary edition of The Last Starfighter.”

This is the response I got when I asked a friend about the holiday gift he was most excited about. Frankly, I wasn’t sure I heard him right the first time so I asked for a repeat and sure enough, I had heard correctly.

This confusing bit of trivia caused several questions to spring up in my holiday-addled brain.

First, was The Last Starfighter really twenty-five years old? Not possible.

Was there really a marketing department somewhere in the world that actually believed there was an audience desperately waiting for a twenty-fifth anniversary edition of this movie?

Apparently. Was THIS the gift that a friend of MINE was actually the most thrilled to unwrap on Christmas morning? Who knew?

Obviously not me, because it actually took some time before I could conjure up the movie plot line and a few vague faces of the actors who starred in it. If a twenty-fifth anniversary tribute was actually on the market, then The Last Starfighter hit the mall movie theaters right smack in the middle of gravity-defying AquaNet hairdos and skinny, neon leather ties worn with white linen blazers.

In other words, the 80’s.

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Goth Chick News: Cool Stuff in 2011

Goth Chick News: Cool Stuff in 2011

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super_8There are bits of wrapping paper static’d to the lamp shade and tendrils of curly ribbon hanging off the chandelier. Here I lay in a sugar and red meat coma under the pressing weight of one too many conversations with the essence of Christmas spirit, three times distilled. With New Years Eve still in front and a bacchanalia of epic proportions behind, what can I do but think happy thoughts about the coming year and a time when the little troll living between my ears will finally stop running in circles and shouting.

Trust me, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing.

But 2011 looms large and full of promise; that not all movies will be filmed in 3D, some remakes may be worth watching and some events will be worth waiting for. So for you I pull myself up off the sticky floor and shake the glitter off my Mr. Grinch flannel PJ’s to bring you the annual “Cool Stuff in 2011” list. I know you probably have some of your own things to add to it, but far be it from me to ask you to get up and try to type in your current state. Nope, leave it to me to take one for the team, and if you feel up to it later, go ahead and chime in.

Now that the room has stopped spinning, let’s start with the movies.

Super 8, a collaboration between Steven Spielberg and JJ Abrams is the obvious place to begin, mainly due to the two gentlemen at the helm.  Until its release in June, you can content yourself by following along with the elaborate viral marketing campaign that has been teasing the crap out of those of us trying to determine the focus of this film.

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Goth Chick News: A Very Bradbury Christmas

Goth Chick News: A Very Bradbury Christmas

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womans-day2Last week’s post, about how ghosts and Yuletide have as close an association as brandy and eggnog, prompted a quantity of mail from you lot. Not surprisingly, the readers of Black Gate know all about the creepier part of the holidays. But you’re also sort of warm and gooey on the inside as well, going all sentimental on me about your own Christmas traditions.

And your emails reminded me about something I had forgotten for a very long time involving Christmas, Ray Bradbury and a ghost story.

Many years ago in the early fall, my beloved Grandfather passed away very peacefully in his sleep. Being nine, I was convinced that no one in the whole world could be more heartbroken than me; I had been my Papa’s only grandchild for most of my young life and he had made me the center of his whole world. However, though I remember my own first experience with grief, what I recall most vividly is seeing my own Dad cry over the loss of his Father. To this day it is the only time I’ve ever seen my stoic Dad shed a tear.

Back then, and until this day, Mom was an avid fan of Woman’s Day magazine. So much so that she kept and cataloged her back issues primarily for recipes but for other interesting tidbits as well. Some weeks after my Grandfather’s funeral, Mom went into her library of Woman’s Day and pulled out an issue from December, 1973. I remember her using a scrap of paper to mark a place in the magazine and leaving it on Dad’s desk for him to find.

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Goth Chick News: There’ll Be Scary Ghost Stories

Goth Chick News: There’ll Be Scary Ghost Stories

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image0022Here at Chateaux Goth Chick, the holidays mean spending a lot of time with family. In your house you may be drinking eggnog and celebrating your annual traditions and at my house it’s the same, only different. Here, December first marks the start of approximately four weeks of  more self-restraint than I exercise in all the preceding months put together.

Allow me to explain.

Although it is generally playful, for the eleven previous months I will have been teased about my taste in music, movies and books; about my “little side job” writing a blog for a disgruntled, anti-establishment audience and about how I’ve run all over the planet looking for ghosts when I’d probably scream like a little girl if I ever saw one.

Yeah? So?

My Mom will have told a small number of stories a large number of times about how I was always a “weird little kid” preferring to sit up all hours reading comics with a flashlight under the covers or sneaking out to the living room in the middle of the night to watch reruns of Son of Svengoolie, while other girls my age were playing with Malibu Barbie.

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Goth Chick News: Death Always Comes at the End

Goth Chick News: Death Always Comes at the End

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image0061Okay, not a cheery thought, but you aren’t reading Martha Stewart’s Living as you well know.

Back when I was a fledgling Goth Chick, learning the joys of sitting cross-legged for hours on end in the aisle of my local bookstore, but not yet in love with a particular genre (just no romance novels, ever), a somewhat twisted piano teach handed me an Agatha Christie novel.

I say “twisted” because one could argue that such tales were in no way appropriate fare for a nine-year-old. Then again, when taken in the context of the other media available to this age group today, Agatha’s plot lines are probably fit for the Disney channel.

But I digress.

My piano teacher looked like she was fresh from an audition for the part of a matronly, widow piano teacher. She even had her lines memorized, scolding me exactly the same way every week while I banged on the keys through purgatorial scales and off-kilter renditions of Ode to Joy. But in keeping with my life-long theme which at that point was only a mere pattern, she was a bit left of center.

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Goth Chick News: You Really Need to Tell Me Everything… Now

Goth Chick News: You Really Need to Tell Me Everything… Now

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image0083I’m about to cross into some sacred territory here, but what the heck.

I really didn’t like The Empire Strikes Back, originally the second (ultimately fifth) in the Star Wars series. In fact, it pretty much put me off the rest of the movies and though I doggedly attended each and every one, the shine went off at number two.

Why?

Because the story left me hanging.

Yep, that’s basically it. The fact that we had to — nay, were forced to — come back for number three to find out what became of Han Solo, who was frozen in carbonite and being rocketed toward certain doom at the end of Empire, sucked the life out of the entire experience for me. Darth Vader’s evil pales in comparison to a cheap trick like an unfinished storyline.

Now before you start peppering me with email and comments about how George Lucas is a national treasure and “how dare I” and all that, please hear me out.

I know a lot of you will say that being left in suspense is part of the fun, and that if a tale is too rich to be told in under three hours it deserves to be broken up into segments. In the case of an HBO series or daytime soap operas I completely agree; waiting to see what happens tomorrow or next week is indeed the hook that keeps the viewers coming back, me included (i.e. True Blood).

The big difference is, the individual segments were never conceived or written to stand alone. And perhaps this is the argument one could make about George Lucas and his intentions when he wrote the entire Star Wars epic. However, a little cynical part of me can’t help but wonder if it had something to do with money, and that’s the bit that ever so slightly gets under my skin.

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Goth Chick News: In Dog Years We’re Seven

Goth Chick News: In Dog Years We’re Seven

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goth-chickWelcome to Goth Chick post number fifty-two.

It was one year ago this week that I moved into the underground offices beneath Black Gate headquarters and began tackling the challenges of a new job. As I’m sure you can appreciate, those early days were a singular challenge. First there was the task of getting all the boys around here to put the toilet seat in the down position, and then the tedious undertaking of choosing the first group of interns — and assigning them to clean the various science experiments out of the communal refrigerator. To say nothing of the effort needed to find new locations for all the cleaning supplies, so I could make space for my desk and drink blender.

Given my initial reception from the other staff members, I was struck with the sneaking suspicion that our editor and chief, John O’Neill, may not have been completely forthcoming in describing the scope of my new role. For instance, several of my fellow staff members kept dropping by to inform me the coffee maker was smoking from lack of coffee, or that the bucket under the leak in the ceiling was overflowing.

In spite of these numerous inane interruptions, I set about to do what John had asked of me: bringing my “unique skills to bear on the daily challenges of the Black Gate team.” True that the staff was certainly a tad heavy on boys wearing shirts with Star Trek quotes, and a sci-fi convention anywhere in the world left the phones unanswered and the mail piling up. It was therefore my task to equalize this imbalance by doing exactly that which I excelled at: Throwing mocking, dark, threatening female sarcasm right into the center of the Enterprise bridge known as Black Gate. So, for your amusement (as well as my own), Goth Chick News went live in November, 2009.

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Goth Chick News: Vampire Zombies on a Plane, Snakes Not Included

Goth Chick News: Vampire Zombies on a Plane, Snakes Not Included

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image004I believe everyone has something that unnerves them, which is not in your typical things-that-are-scary category. We’ve already agreed that clowns and little kids with blank stares rank high on the creepy index, but there are other more benign items that cause the hair on the back of our necks to stand up, mainly because they exist on the outside of the everyday.

Allow me to provide an example.

A few years ago I had an opportunity to visit Cape Canaveral in Florida for a night-time launch of the space shuttle. Though the event was scuttled by technical difficulties, there was something strangely frightening about the massiveness of the shuttle (and “massive” hardly does it justice).

This monolithic structure, sitting in the middle of an otherwise vacant launch pad and lit the way it was, seemed strangely terrifying. It didn’t belong there on what looked like a normal airport runway. It was gigantic and alien and out of place. I can’t explain it sufficiently, but I had nightmares about standing near it for several weeks after. Maybe because it was in a place my mind just couldn’t agree it should be, and that turned “normal” upside down.

It was because of the chill that comes from everyday things being displaced that I picked up Guillermo Del Toro’s latest paperback release The Strain to sustain me on a recent, long plane ride. In case you aren’t familiar with Del Toro, he is the owner of the incredible imagination that brought us Pan’s Labyrinth, which was turned into an Oscar-winning film in 2007.

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Goth Chick News: Pursuing the Jinn

Goth Chick News: Pursuing the Jinn

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image002No, I can’t just go to Vegas like a normal person.

I’m pretty sure that by now connecting the word “normal” with anything you read here is no longer something you attempt to do. However, just in case there were lingering doubts, I’m stating my position for the record.

That out of the way, I can now tell you that during the two weeks since last we met I have been gleefully trudging through the sands of the Sahara in search of tasty paranormal tidbits to smuggle back through customs for you.

And rest assured, Morocco yielded a doozy.

In mid-October I boarded a flight from Chicago, connected through Rome and landed in Casablanca (yes, the one from the movie) where I kicked off a ten-day tour of the major cities of Morocco.

In addition to some really nice ceramic tiles and possibly a carpet (a flying one if I was really lucky), my goal was to collect stories of the paranormal in a culture governed by its religion. I tempered my expectations with the thought that a country full of devout Muslims may have no room in their beliefs for such things, and that even asking about them could be offensive.

Wrong on both accounts.

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