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Goth Chick News: When Visiting Hemlock Grove, Better “Late” Than Never

Goth Chick News: When Visiting Hemlock Grove, Better “Late” Than Never

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Hemlock Grove-smallDid someone give you a Netflix subscription for the holidays? Then I have two words for you and your shiny new queue.

Hemlock Grove.

Never heard of it? Neither have a lot of people. If you are anything like me, then you have never even seen Hemlock Grove pop up in your Netflix recommendations. Heck, chances are, you may have never heard about Hemlock Grove before reading this post.

But that’s OK; because Netflix didn’t make the show for us.

Unlike its other two pet projects which Netflix has spent a lot of effort promoting, Arrested Development and House of Cards, they purposely made very little fuss about Hemlock Grove when it launched back in April. It’s aimed at an audience of teenage horror fans and Netflix had the numbers to know that this audience is engaged enough on the streaming service to make a title like Hemlock Grove succeed.

So, why do the rest of us care?

Hemlock Grove is an American horror/thriller series from executive producer Eli Roth (Grindhouse and Hostel) and developed by Brian McGreevy and Lee Shipman. It is based on McGreevy’s 2012 novel Hemlock Grove.

The show examines the strange happenings in a fictional town in Pennsylvania where a teenage girl is brutally murdered, sparking a hunt for her killer.

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The Problem with Wonder Woman

The Problem with Wonder Woman

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Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman-smallWonder Woman is my wife’s favorite superhero, and for good reason. The character is powerful, dynamic, and she isn’t afraid to throw down with evil villains. While I didn’t read the comic, I’m old enough to remember the television series with Linda Carter. I also knew the character from The Super Friends Saturday morning cartoon back in the day.

Every few years, rumors emerge from Hollywood about a Wonder Woman movie or show in the works. We hear about the possible casting choices, and then it goes away for a while. Meanwhile, movies about male superheroes are being churned out as fast as possible.

Recently it was leaked that actress/model Gal Gadot (left) might be cast as the legendary Amazon princess in the next Superman movie, and the internet went ape-poop.

At first I didn’t understand why. Then I read the various comments floating around, most of which had to do with Ms. Gadot being too skinny for the role. Which, of course, started debates about how much muscle mass she could pack on with the right trainer, comparisons to Hugh Jackson, et cetera and so forth.

At first, I thought to myself that it doesn’t matter who they cast; just making the @%#^$* movie. After all the travails this comic juggernaut franchise has encountered on its trek through Hollywood, I just want to see the ball rolling. Heck, it couldn’t be any worse than Daredevil or Green Lantern, right?

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Skyfall: In Which a Pulp Hero Meets the 21st Century

Skyfall: In Which a Pulp Hero Meets the 21st Century

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Skyfall_wallpaper1 Let me offend as many readers as possible right at the start by stating that Daniel Craig is the best James Bond the screen has yet known. The man is equal parts chiseled granite and lithe predator; he has charm, but he withholds it whenever possible, forcing us to catch it on the sly, as if we’re at a peepshow. Nobody in movies today looks better in a suit.

Yes, Sean Connery was great, but the role of Bond requires a greater world-weariness than Connery, at least in his nineteen-sixties roles, could bring. Roger Moore brought out 007’s upper-crust prep school tastes, but he was never believably dangerous; he actually needed Q’s endless gimmicks to survive, as Craig surely does not. The various Bond inhabitors since have filled the shoes without fleshing out the man. Only Craig does justice to the flinty, ruthless public servant that Ian Fleming originally envisioned, without reducing the character to a dusty fifties history text: Cold War Tactics 101, With Style. Daniel Craig makes 007 both contemporary and relevant.

Skyfall (2013) opens with a shot of an approaching figure, out-of-focus, stalking down a dim corridor. When the figure gets close enough, the image locks on at last: it’s Bond, of course, weapon in hand, but the initial blurriness is central to the film. Skyfall presents James Bond between epochs, uncertain of his exact identity and purpose. Is he still a tool of the Cold War establishment, of traditional spy vs. spy operations, or does the world now require him to be something new? To be (as he is in the extraordinary credits sequence) reborn?

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Warner Bros. Confirms Gilligan’s Island Re-make

Warner Bros. Confirms Gilligan’s Island Re-make

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Gilligan's Island (US TV Series)Multiple sources are now reporting that Warner Bros. has green-lit a feature film re-make of the famous CBS sitcom Gilligan’s Island, which ran for three seasons from 1964 to 1967.

The original show was perhaps the greatest TV staple of my childhood. On any given day of the week, at least one local station on the television dial was broadcasting Gilligan’s Island. Along with The Brady Bunch, it was the one show every one of my siblings watched.

Gilligan’s Island followed the adventures of seven castaways marooned on an island paradise after a tropical storm blows their famous “three hour cruise” out of Honolulu far off course. While hardly a fantasy the way I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched were, Gilligan’s Island was not afraid to embrace the fantastic, with episodes that included voodoo spells, futuristic jet-packs, a stone that grants three wishes, a magician’s trunk, and much more. The pilot episode featured a theme song by John Williams, and the show had several notable guest stars — including Mel Blanc, voicing everything from a frog to Gilligan’s pet duck, and a very young Kurt Russell, playing a Jungle Boy.

This isn’t the first re-make. The show’s creator, Sherwood Schwartz, re-cast Gilligan’s Island as the short-lived western comedy Dusty’s Trail in 1973, starring Bob Denver and Forrest Tucker as part of a group who become separated from their wagon train, with a cast of nearly identical characters. The 1982 Saturday morning cartoon Gilligan’s Planet included the voices of the entire original cast except for Ginger (Tina Louise), and followed the adventures of the castaways after they escape from the island by building a spaceship, promptly getting shipwrecked on a distant planet.

The new movie is described as a star vehicle for Josh Gad, star of the Broadway musical The Book of Mormon (and the voice of Olaf the Snowman in Disney’s Frozen). Gad will also co-write the script. No news on a release date, or whether Gad will play Gilligan.

Chuck Norris Schools Jean-Claude Van Damme in Epic Holiday Video

Chuck Norris Schools Jean-Claude Van Damme in Epic Holiday Video

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Chuck Norris schools Jean-Claude Van DammeAh, the 80s’. When action stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Jean-Claude Van Damme ruled the box office.

Thirty years later, most film stars of the era have largely retired. Except for occasional appearances in The Expendables franchise — and, if you’re Jean-Claude Van Damme, a history-making advertisement for Volvo.

The action stars of the 80s may be older, but they’re no less competitive… as Delov Digital makes clear in a hilarious remake of Van Damme’s Volvo ad, starring the untoppable Chuck Norris.

Watch the complete 70-second video here.

In other news for 80s action fans, the teaser trailer for The Expendables 3 — with an expanded cast that includes Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes, Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and Arnold Schwarzenegger — was released yesterday. Enjoy.

The Worst Fantasy Films of All Time

The Worst Fantasy Films of All Time

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Highlander II The Quickening-smallWatch out, my friends. This weekend there is a storm a’blowing! The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is in theaters, and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen so much angst among the fantasy lovers of the world.

Personally, I really enjoyed both Hobbit movies, just as I loved The Lord of the Rings movies. Hell, at this point Peter Jackson could make a movie about the struggles of union workers in ancient Moria and I’d go see it.

I understand every movie (and every book) has flaws, but some people are absolutely livid about Jackson’s rendition of The Hobbit on the big screen. I feel it’s my duty as a fellow fantasy-phile to point out how awful these movies could have been under different management.

There is an entire industry of bad fantasy movies out there. Maybe if we take a stroll back through history, we’ll gain a little perspective. So here I give you, my list of Least Best Fantasy Movies.

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A History of Godzilla on Film, Part 1: Origins (1954–1962)

A History of Godzilla on Film, Part 1: Origins (1954–1962)

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Return of Godzilla 1984 PosterOther Installments

Part 2: The Golden Age (1963–1968)
Part 3: Down and Out in Osaka (1969–1983)
Part 4: The Heisei Era (1984–1997)
Part 5: The Travesty and the Millennium Era (1996–2004)
Addendum: The 2014 Godzilla

With the release of the teaser trailer for the upcoming Godzilla from Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures, a decade of cinematic silence has come to an end. Godzilla last appeared in 2004 in the Japanese movie Godzilla: Final Wars, which Toho Studios intended as the monster’s final bow before going on sabbatical. It’s the longest break in the iconic monster’s career, and regardless of what happens next, the forthcoming Godzilla ’14 is a reason for G-fans to celebrate. Maybe stomp a few cities. The trailer makes San Francisco look particularly stomp-able.

At this point, we only know as much about Godzilla ’14 as we’ve seen in the teaser. But it was an exciting glimpse that at least assured fans the new movie would not repeat the horrible mistakes of the first American attempt at a stateside Godzilla, the 1998 Roland Emmerich disaster.

This is the first of five (projected) installments covering the history of Godzilla on film, written and condensed for a broad audience. I hope these articles will help readers who have only a passing relationship with Godzilla — the general knowledge from pop culture osmosis — see the unusual variety of one of the longest and most durable film franchises in history. Many Black Gate readers are probably familiar with much of the information I’ll provide in these articles, but since I’ll also sling around my own opinions about the movies mixed in with the history, Godzilla fans may find parts of this worthwhile … if perhaps only to ignite arguments.

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The Cartoon Revolution Will No Longer Be Televised

The Cartoon Revolution Will No Longer Be Televised

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Young-JusticeI hadn’t really kept up on children’s TV cartoon programming, not since I was part of the target demographic for it back in the ‘80s. As a young adult, I checked out the Batman series now and again, impressed by how well done it was. I became minorly obsessed with The Tick, because that was just a wonderful parody send-up of the whole superhero milieu I grew up in. The Simpsons crossed my radar, of course. But that’s about it.

I’ve been watching a lot of cartoons lately, because I have a daughter who’s almost five and a son who’s nearly three. And I’ve been pleasantly surprised. It turns out that television programming for kids has enjoyed something of a Renaissance in the last decade or so, similar to its counterpart programming for mature audiences.

But enjoy it while you can, because that era may be coming to an end…

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Everything Bad Makes a Puzzle: Some Thoughts on Everything Bad is Good For You

Everything Bad Makes a Puzzle: Some Thoughts on Everything Bad is Good For You

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Everything Bad Is Good For YouThere’s a certain kind of structure I’ve lately begun to notice in certain novels. These books read like puzzles, telling one story directly and overtly while implying a second story, or highly variant reading of the first story, through carefully-placed gaps, contradictions, and seemingly-irrelevant details. Throwaway references in highly-disparate points of the book might imply a completely different way to read at least the plot and often the tone or theme. It’s something Gene Wolfe does a lot; other examples I’ve noticed lately are Joyce Carol Oates’ The Accursed, Helen Oyeyemi’s White is For Witching, and Caitlín Kiernan’s The Red Tree. I’d been trying to work out what to make of this ‘puzzlebook’ technique, when as it happened I read a completely different book that seemed to have something to say about this structure — among many other things.

Steven Johnson’s 2005 non-fiction book Everything Bad Is Good For You is an argument about the structure and cognitive benefits of popular culture. Johnson suggests that video games, for example, sharpen certain kinds of problem-solving skills, and in general that the experience of games, TV shows, the internet, and to an extent film represents an engagement with increasing complexity. Most fascinating to me were his discussions of TV and of the way TV’s grown more structurally complex over the past few decades. He seems to me to have not only accurately identified how televised stories have changed but also by extension to have suggested how storytelling generally may be changing. And that in turn perhaps implies a broader context for the ‘puzzlebooks’ I seem to be coming across more and more often.

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Goth Chick News: Godzilla Geek Out – More on the First Trailer for 2014 Remake

Goth Chick News: Godzilla Geek Out – More on the First Trailer for 2014 Remake

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Godzilla 2014 Poster 2-smallFifteen years ago a horrific monstrosity was loosed on an unsuspecting public. It was huge and ghastly and made you want to avert your eyes.

And it starred Matthew Broderick.

Yes, I am referring to the 1998 “American” remake of Godzilla, which outraged fans nicknamed  G.I.N.O., an acronym for “Godzilla in Name Only,” to ensure it would never be confused with the original source material.

To be fair, there were two good things about the film. One, even with an estimated budget of $130M it did at least break even in the US, pulling in $136M. Second, TriStar Pictures was able to keep all the velociraptor special effects guys employed (they had recently been laid off following the release of Jurassic Park: Lost World in 1997).

However what happened this week may finally eradicate the revulsion from our collective memories.

As my co-worker Ryan Harvey announced on Tuesday (by jumping up and roaring “out loud with him at the top of my lungs”… while at work), Legendary and Warner Brothers released the trailer for their 2014 Godzilla reboot and it looks pretty epic. Considering how long it took me to actually access it, there is clearly a whole lot of interest in seeing what will happen with the iconic monster this time around.

Monsters‘ special effects guru, Gareth Edwards writes the story and directs an eclectic cast including Elizabeth Olsen (Kill Your Darlings), Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad), Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass) and Juliette Binoche (The English Patient).

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