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Goth Chick News: Time To See More Dead People

Goth Chick News: Time To See More Dead People

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image0101Believe me, fighting off the urge to be snarky every time I read something about Slasher Films is an exercise in self control.

If you recall, back in January I told you about the Guns ‘n Roses guitarist “Slash” who had just announced the launch of his new horror movie production company with a very cheesy name.

This had all the elements that make for a good rip on how running around looking like a rock and roll version of Son of Svengoolie doesn’t automatically mean you can make a palatable scary movie. However, before I was able to launch into a truly hardy, sarcastic tirade I was struck by the seemingly intriguing story lines that would be the first few big screen releases.

Maybe, just maybe this was going to be good after all.

Originally, Slasher Films announced four new projects; Nothing to Fear, Theorem, The Other Kingdom and Wake the Dead, billed as a film version of the graphic novel by Steve Niles who also happens to be Slash’s business partner.

This week we learned which of these concepts are going to become reality first.

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First Official Photos of The Hobbit released

First Official Photos of The Hobbit released

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ew-hobbit-bilbo

From Entertainment Weekly.

So far so good, though I can’t say I’m surprised, given the precedent set by the wonderful scenery and set-pieces of The Lord of the Rings films. Martin Freeman couldn’t have been a better casting choice, visually, for the part of Bilbo (though I picture Mr. Baggins as slightly more rotund).

As I’m sure it was for many others The Hobbit was my gateway to fantasy and, largely, to reading in general. As such I have very high expectations for this film (or more accurately, films). I have little doubt The Hobbit is going to look great, but my hopes and fears are pinned to the faithfulness of the script. And the amount of screen time allotted to Beorn kicking ass at the Battle of Five Armies.

Goth Chick News: Colin Farrell Can Bite Me

Goth Chick News: Colin Farrell Can Bite Me

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image0022If you’re looking for a sparkly vampire who marries humans rather than eats them, check back in around November when I can promise you there will be no mention of such atrocities here.

No way.

Here at Goth Chick News we do not condone the colorization of black and white movies, the censoring of controversial reading material or, blasphemy of blasphemies, the wussification of folklore monsters. Here, the Wolfman is not “misunderstood,” Frankenstein is the name of the doctor, not the monster and vampires are ruthless killers without the slightest bit of angst.

In other words; Colin Farrell.

If unlike me, you don’t have a widget countdown clock on your computer screen checking off the minutes until August 19th then let me remind you that is the release date for Fright Night.

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Pottermore Revealed: Unique “Online Reading Experience” says Rowling

Pottermore Revealed: Unique “Online Reading Experience” says Rowling

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pottermorescreenHarry Potter author J.K. Rowling announced this morning (video here) that she will be releasing

“something unique: an online reading experience unlike any other. It’s called Pottermore. It’s the same story, with a few crucial additions. The most important one is you. Just as the experience of reading requires that the imaginations of the author and reader work together to create the story, so Pottermore will be built in part by you, the reader. The digital generation will be able to enjoy a safe, online reading experience built around the Harry Potter books.“

She claims that this new website will include not only the ability to buy digital audiobook and e-book versions of the Potter series, but also that she will be directly involved with the community, revealing tidbits about the universe which she’s known for years but which never made it directly into the novels.

youtubepotterscreenFor about a week, rumors have been swirling across the internet about the exact nature of Pottermore, since Rowling established a website by that name and a mysterious countdown clock appeared on YouTube (shown below).

Speculations ran wild throughout the week, fueled by tantalizing clues, some of them intentional, such as an online Google Maps-based game, and some unintentional, like the discovery that Warner Bros. had registered the website for trademark as a “global information computer network.”

Rowling and her spokesmen have been quiet on the details, except to stay that it is definitely not a new novel set in the Harry Potter universe, but still some have wondered if it was the long-anticipated Harry Potter encyclopedia, which Rowling has hinted may someday be released for charity.

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Thor and the Fear of Fantasy

Thor and the Fear of Fantasy

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Thor, the MovieAs a good Shakespearean, Kenneth Branagh understands fantasy. I think the movie Thor succeeds mostly because of what he as a director brings to the film, and what he’s able to get out of his cast. What’s missing seems to be what the script doesn’t give him — a larger world, memorable supporting characters, and a willingness to engage with the matter of fantasy.

The tale’s simple enough. Following an incursion of evil frost giants into the realm of Asgard, Thor, son of Asgard’s ruler Odin, leads a retaliatory raid against the giants; because this endangers a fragile peace between the realms, Odin exiles Thor to earth, stripping him of his power. Thor and his magic warhammer Mjolnir materialise in New Mexico, where he’s befriended by rogue cosmologists, deals with agents of the superspy organisation S.H.I.E.L.D., and struggles against the plots of his brother Loki. Thor ultimately has to regain his power to return to Asgard to save all the worlds from Loki’s schemes.

It’s an enjoyable adventure movie. The set-pieces are well staged, the design of the visuals are distinctive, and the actors sell the material by consistently hitting the right balance between the grounded and the larger-than-life. But the script of the movie struggles to fit the mythic material at the core of the story into standard superhero movie structures.

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Goth Chick News: Zombie Contamination and Other Stuff You’ll Only Find Here

Goth Chick News: Zombie Contamination and Other Stuff You’ll Only Find Here

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image0021Fresh from their final exams and smelling strongly of AXE body spray, the new batch of summer interns creeps tentatively down the stone steps into the underground offices of Goth Chick News. After orientation, which in this case includes a thorough hosing off, they are scurrying around collecting information for their first assignment.

Akin to the pleasure of taking the Margarita salt out from its long winter storage is the joy of taking on twice as many interns as necessary and making them fight each other to the death in their first week, to remain one of the chosen few.

“Bring me pop horror culture!” I shout; frothy frozen cocktail in one hand and riding crop in the other. “And make sure it’s fresh! We’re not running some crappy Ryan-Seacrest-production here!”

C.S.E. Cooney laughs maniacally from the corner and asks if she can have a go with the riding crop.

Summer is definitely in the air at Black Gate headquarters.

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Goth Chick News: Traveling the YellowBrickRoad With Andy Mitton and Jesse Holland

Goth Chick News: Traveling the YellowBrickRoad With Andy Mitton and Jesse Holland

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image002Last week I had the pleasure of bringing you an early look at the new indy horror film YellowBrickRoad. But much like the elusive Great and Powerful Oz himself, YBR writers and directors Andy Mitton and Jesse Holland wished to remain firmly behind the curtain until the movie was released. YBR hit select AMC theaters nationwide on June 1st and true to their word, the magicians responsible for this amazing story have come over for a chat.

And a good thing to, because it wasn’t like the curiosity hadn’t already gotten to me when I picked up last weekend’s Chicago Tribune to find a sizable write up about YBR. After spending the first moment gloating over how I’d gotten there first, I spent the second moment amazed at how the local movie critic, who generally hates everything but foreign films with subtitles, seemed to have fallen breathlessly in love the YBR.

In the third moment I was manic with questions (how the heck does an indy film get a distribution deal with AMC and a Chicago Tribune accolade anyway?) and sprinting for the computer.

Thankfully, Jesse and Andy were ready to dish the deets on what is so far my favorite horror flick of 2011, indy and mass market included.

So grab a munchkin and a lollipop and come in a little closer; the men on the YellowBrickRoad have an interesting tale to tell.

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Supernatural Spotlight – Season 6 Finale!

Supernatural Spotlight – Season 6 Finale!

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SUPERNATURALIn this double episode finale, we get to the end of one of the best seasons. It started out a little rocky, but had some of the series’ best episodes, I think. The finale happened while I was a on a plane to Arizona for vacation, so I wasn’t able to review it until I got back this week. (Gotta love DVR!)

Things start out at a rapid clip, with a man at a typewriter in 1937. Shortly after finishing a manuscript, he is murdered. His blood splattered across the manuscript, revealing the man’s name: H.P. Lovecraft.

In the present, Bobby discovers that Castiel has stolen one of the Campbell family journals, by Moisha Campbell (of the New York Campbells). Fortunately, the paranoid Bobby had already made copies, so they’re able to figure out that Moisha Campbell had interviewed Lovecraft, who (as they explain to Dean) had a tendency to write stories about portals opening up and nasty stuff coming out.

Things change tack as demons break into Lisa and Ben’s house, killing Lisa’s boyfriend and capturing her. Ben is hiding in his room and calls Dean, but is caught. Crowley picks up the phone and demands a meeting with Dean. Dean goes to the meeting with Sam, but tells Bobby to keep looking into the Lovecraft connection.

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On Stranger Tides

On Stranger Tides

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Cover for the 1988 Ace MMPB.Extolling the virtues of Tim Powers to this audience is probably preaching to the choir, but if you haven’t yet read On Stranger Tides, get thee to Amazon. It was the first Powers I ever read. It’s still my favorite.

The fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, neither based nor inspired but rather “suggested by the novel by Tim Powers,” is so-so. It has a clumsy first act, full of cameos and nudge-nudge references to the original film; and the leaden action and fighting choreography is wound into slow-motion by the editing. The biggest problem is POV: the story shouldn’t have had Jack as the main character but rather should have, like Curse of the Black Pearl, focused on the straight man (here, the missionary Philip) whose path intersects with Sparrow’s. That said, it’s not as bad as some of the reviews say. I found the mermaid sequence in Whitecap Bay delightful and I’ll gladly pay $9 to watch Geoffrey Rush channel Robert Newton (or to listen to Penelope Cruz’s accent) anytime. The film’s biggest stars are actually the percussive guitars of Rodrigo Y Gabriela who, along with Hans Zimmer, give the score a Spanish Main emotion missing from the previous installments.

If only the filmmakers had adapted Powers whole cloth! In the 1987 novel, 18th-century puppeteer John Chandagnac — or Jack Shandy, as he becomes known — accidentally falls in with pirates and thereby enters a heretofore unknown world of sorcery and West African animism. The buccaneers of the Caribbean, it turns out, are magicians who can manipulate spirits. Blackbeard himself is a master warlock, but having become infested with vodun loas, must seek out the Fountain of Youth to banish them; he keeps them at bay by drinking gunpowder and burning slow matches in his hair. And he’s not even the main antagonist. Shandy must meanwhile race to save his love from a horrific plot involving zombies and body swapping.

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Goth Chick News: Following the YellowBrickRoad

Goth Chick News: Following the YellowBrickRoad

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image0041Sometimes I feel a Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, only different.

I do have a dog (three actually) but even the smallest one wouldn’t fit into a wicker basket and they’d treat Toto like a chew toy. The ruby colored shoes I own are not constructed for long distance walking and if you ever catch me in poufy sleeves and gingham, please just put me out of my misery. Chicago does get the occasional tornado, but it would be an exceptional storm indeed that could pick up my house and set it down on a fortuitous target that I’d never, ever equate to my mother-in-law, at least not in writing.

However, I do have a few really cool friends who are exceptionally good at introducing me to very interesting people. They are wonderful traveling companions, knowing precisely the types of twisted adventures I enjoy. And though I’ve never exactly met a Great and Powerful Oz, generally when I agree to go with them somewhere, the results are often adrenaline-rushing, sometimes heart-thumping, and every once in awhile, mind-blowing.

In this particular case, my traveling companions are Brad Miska from Bloody Disgusting and film makers Jesse Holland and Andy Mitton. And yes, there’s even a real yellow brick road; but in this case it pretty much leads straight to Hell.

Though Brad runs the world’s most popular horror website, we actually became acquainted in such a ridiculously normal way that I’m actually embarrassed. Somehow it seems that “Mr. Disgusting” and Goth Chick should have met in some underground S&M bar in Taiwan (not that I have any independent knowledge of said S&M bar).

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