Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone: What If? – The Unchronicled Cases

Monday, October 26, 2026 Bob Byrne Comments 0 Comment

Two Nero Wolfe posts in one month? What flummery is this? Like most avid readers know, there’s just not enough time to read (and write about) all our interest areas.

I finished a Terry Pratchett novella (last week’s post), while continuing on with a Savage Sword of Conan Omnibus, and starting a first read of Tolkien’s Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (I’m never gonna be a poetry fan), AND grabbing an Isaac Bell detective book from the Clive Cussler shelves.

While still working on a couple of Nero Wolfe projects ‘in my other spare time.’ I started this one a year or two ago and finally dialed in to finish it. And man, it was fun. Using every original or alternate title, I came up with a different plot, title, or both. With a minimum of two per.

Some are ridiculous, but some others would make good stories. Regardless, this was a very enjoyable dive into The Corpus. I think it’s satisfactory, though Wolfe would probably go with flummery.

FER DE LANCE
Fair de Lance – A murder occurs during a joust at a Ren Faire which Archie and Wolfe are attending.
Press My Pants – Wolfe’s favorite launderer is murdered.

THE LEAGUE OF FRIGHTENED MEN
The League of Frightened Men – Fritz burns dinner; Theodore lets a prized orchid die; Archie forgets to pay the beer supplier.
The League of Frightened Hens – Wolfe is forced to solve a crime at a chicken farm.

THE RUBBER BAND
The Rubber Band – Archie accidentally hits Wolfe in the face with a rubber band. Alternate title – You’ll Poke Your Eye Out.
The Robber Hand – A card shark hustles Archie; who is the lead suspect when he’s found dead.

THE RED BOX
The Red Sox – Wolfe is hired by the Yankees to get the dirt on Boston’s star pitcher.
The Red Fox – Archie finds murder and mayhem when Lily drags him to a fox hunt on a country estate.

TOO MANY COOKS
Too Many Books – Marie Kondo writes an article, criticizing Wolfe’s book habits.
Too Many Looks – Lily finally has enough of Archie noticing other women.
Too Many Crooks – A valuable diamond necklace is stolen at a mob gathering. The capo hires Wolfe.

SOME BURIED CAESAR
Some Harried Caesar – Somebody is trying to ruin Sid Caesar, who comes to Wolfe for help.
Don’t Carry Visa – Wolfe is hired over a major credit card fraud.

OVER MY DEAD BODY
Over My Dead Body – When Archie says this to a thug with a gun in hand, he says ‘Works for me’ and shoots Archie.
Over Thy Dead Body – A priest is found dead, clutching a rare Gutenberg Bible.

WHERE THERE’S A WILL
Where There’s a Will – Archie gives up milk for Lent.
Where There’s a Grill – Circumstances force Fritz into an Iron Chef-type competition, on barbecue grills.

BLACK ORCHIDS
Black Orchids – A fire breaks out in the rooftop garden.
Black Beans – Due to a world-wide bean pandemic, Wolfe can only have black beans to eat for the winter.

CORDIALLY INVITED TO MEET DEATH
Cordially Invited to Meet Death – Wolfe investigates a major NYC funeral home racket.
Cordially Invited to Meet Seth – Seth Green wants protection from a stalker on the set of an Austin Powers film.

INVITATION TO MURDER
Invitation to Murder – Archie is invited to a murder mystery dinner where the victim is a Wolfe copy.
Invitation to Nurture – A murder occurs at a baby birthing class.

NOT QUITE DEAD ENOUGH
Not Quite Dead Enough – It seems that someone Wolfe sent to the electric chair has come back to get revenge.
Not Quite Red Enough – Wolfe’s envious disbelief that someone has grown a pure red Vanda in NY enmeshes him in a murder.

THE BOOBY TRAP
The Booby Trap – Archie hunts a killer in a bra factory.
The Scooby Doobie Trap – Archie is after Shaggie for pot dealing.

THE SILENT SPEAKER
The Silent Speaker – Wolfe investigates a killing at a mime convention.
The Silent Speaker – Harpo Marx visits the Brownstone.
The Silent Beaker – Wolfe investigates murder in a lab.

TOO MANY WOMEN
Too Many Women – Archie is the lead suspect when a murder occurs at a beauty pageant he’s judging. Wolfe has to go on-site to clear him.
Too Many Women – Archie is the lead suspect when a murder occurs at a charity bachelor auction he is up for bid at.
Choose Any Lemon – Wolfe buys a new car but finds the dealer has been conned into selling lemons.
Too Many Vermin – The Brownstone has a rat infestation.

AND BE A VILLAIN
Aunt Bee the Villain – Archie’s Aunt Bee visits from Ohio and finds herself in trouble with the law.
Four Deaths in One – Four corpses fall out of a closet. (More Deaths Than One is British Title of And Be a Villain)

THE SECOND CONFESSION
The Second Confession – Stebbins thinks he has to cover up for Cramer. Who then covers up for him. Wolfe finds the real culprit.
The Second Confession – Rowcliffe thinks he’d finally got Archie when the latter confesses to a murder, and it fits perfectly. Then Saul confesses, and it fits just as well.
The Second Regression – Regression analysis plays a part in the solution.

TROUBLE IN TRIPLICATE
Trouble in Triplicate – The IRS audits Wolfe. (I know it’s a collection: I just like the plot)

BEFORE I DIE
Before I Die – A dying man gives Archie clues to a case he and Wolfe failed to solve years ago.
On The Floor I Lie – Archie wakes up from a major bender – next to a dead woman.

HELP WANTED, MALE
Help Wanted, Mail – Theodore quits and becomes a postal worker. Wolfe is too much without Theodore in the plant rooms and Archie has to lure Theodore back.
Help Wanted, Bail – A judge orders that Wolfe’s annoying client must stay at the Brownstone as part of his bail.

INSTEAD OF EVIDENCE
Bed of Evidence – The key to solving a murder is a bed of flowers at a country house. Wolfe constantly grumbles about non-orchid flowers.
Dread of Evidence – Archie finds a clue that makes it clear Wolfe’s client is guilty.

IN THE BEST OF FAMILIES
In the Best of Families – Wolfe investigates a murder in the Rockefeller social circle.
In the Rest of the Homilies – Wolfe has to find a key clue in homilies given by murdered priests.

THREE DOORS TO DEATH
Three Doors to Meth – Wolfe is drawn into Cramer’s case, looking for meth labs being operated out of townhouses in the city.

MAN ALIVE
Man Alive – This used to be Saul’s go-to phrase. We see the case where it became ‘Lovin babe’ instead.
Man Alive – The heir to the Remmer’s beer business promises Wolfe free beer for life if he can find his father, presumed dead.
Man Arrives – A man shows up on the stoop, claiming to be Archie’s brother.

OMIT FLOWERS
Omit Flowers – Wolfe is left off the list of Top 10 NY orchid growers. And investigates when someone kills down the list – towards Lewis Hewitt!
Omit Showers – The Brownstone is without water for an extended period of time.

DOOR TO DEATH
Door to Death – Archie is captured and faces the old ‘Which door to death and which to freedom?’ choice.
Bored to Death – Wolfe must attend a Rush Limbaugh-like speaker – who is murdered on stage.

BULLET FOR ONE
Bullet for One – Wolfe investigates a death by a poisoned Coors silver-can beer.
Ballet for One– Lily stands Archie up at the ballet – where murder ensues.

DISGUISE FOR MURDER
Disguise for Murder – Wolfe has to find a killer at a clown convention.
Disguise for Murder – Wolfe must find the villain working at a costume shop.
Dis Guy’s for Moider – The Bowery Boys get involved with a case.

THE GUN WITH WINGS
The Fun with Wings – An eccentric inventor (think John Astin in The Adventures of Brisco County Jr) flies onto the roof of the Brownstone during Orchid Hours, on man-made wings.
The Fun with Rings – Wolfe is hired to find a Lothario who proposes to multiple women and swindles them out of their savings.

MURDER BY THE BOOK
Murder by the Book – Marie Kondo is killed by a blow to the head with Webster’s International Dictionary – Third Edition.
Murder by the Book Marie Kondo is killed by an avalanche of thirty-one books.
Murder by the Look – A Greek mythology historian seems to have been petrified.

PRISONER’S BASE
Prisoner’s Vase – A vase willed to Wolfe by a man executed in the electric chair holds a clue.
Prisoner’s Case – Perry Mason, representing The Court of Last Resort, brings a case to Wolfe.

THE SQUIRT AND THE MONKEY
The Squirt and the Monkey– A midget accordion player with a seeing-eye monkey wants to hire Wolfe.
See No Evil – The search for a monkey statue causes trouble (alternate title for The Squirt and the Monkey)

THE COP KILLER
The Cop Killer – Rowcliffe is murdered and Archie is the lead suspect; for good reason!
The Mop Killer – Someone is beating maids to death; with mops.

HOME TO ROOST
Home To Roost – Someone is cleverly sabotaging homing pigeon races.
Nero Wolfe & The Communist Killer – Someone is killing ‘The Broadway Ten’ and Wolfe is hired to find the murderer. Alternate title for Home to Roost)

THE GOLDEN SPIDERS
The Old Riders – While visiting Lily at the Glade, Archie finds himself up against a geriatric motorcycle gang in Westchester.
The Old Riders – While vacationing in Montana with Lily, Archie finds himself up against a geriatric cowboy gang (I was thinking of The Apple Dumping Gang)

THE BLACK MOUNTAIN
The Black Mountain – A company buys the four townhouses to one side and turns them into a large coal pile.
The Black Fountain – A fountain in Prospect Park has black water.

THE ZERO CLUE
The Zero Shoe – A dying man says ‘the shoe was size zero’ as a clue.
The Zero Brew – Wolfe is hired by a brewery that makes (to his disgust) zero calorie beer.

THIS WON’T KILL YOU
A Miss Won’t Kill You – Murder at an archery competition.
This Won’t Fill You – Wolfe is forced to eat vegetarian for a month.

INVITATION TO MURDER
Invitation to Murder – Leading detectives are invited to a dinner where they have been told a murder will occur.
Will to Murder – A will names four people, and leaves a vast fortune to the last one alive (alternate title to Invitation to Murder)

BEFORE MIDNIGHT
Before Midnight – A handsome young man wants Wolfe to find the girl who wore a glass slipper.
Before Midnight – If Wolfe can’t rescue Archie by midnight, his kidnapper will kill him.
Before Birthright – Identical twins argue who came first, related to a will.

MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD
Might as Well be Lead – An alchemist hires Wolfe to find his stolen formula.
Might as Well be Red – Wolfe is hired to find the killer of a local Communist.

DIE LIKE A DOG
Sleep Like a Log – Wolfe comes down with narcolepsy during a case. (Or maybe Archie does)
Out of the Fog – If you don’t know this story, go watch the movie. It’s a CLASSIC Noir. It could be adapted (with some changes) into a legitimate pastiche. Hmm….
The Body in the Hall – Archie comes down in the morning to find a dead body by the coat rack in the front hall. (alternate title for Die Like a Dog)

WHEN A MAN MURDERS
When a Band Murders – The leader of Archie’s favorite band at the Flamingo Club is accused of murder.
When a Man Yodels – Wolfe is hired to find out who ruined the voice of a world-class yodeler.

THE NEXT WITNESS
The Last Witness – A vigilante is killing witnesses during the trial against a brutal gangster. Wolfe is hired to catch him before he kills the last one (alternate title for The Next Witness).
The Best Witness – Two witnesses have opposing accounts.

IF DEATH EVER SLEPT
If Death Ever Slept – Wolfe goes after cutthroat local retailer, ‘The Mattress King.’
If Wealth Ever Slept – Wolfe takes on one of the richest men in New York.

A WINDOW FOR DEATH
A Window for Death – A Wolfe version of Chandler’s The High Window.
A Widow for Death – Is the attractive client a Black Widow?

TOO MANY DETECTIVES
Too Many Defectives – Wolfe comes across The Bowery Boys on a case.
Too Many Defectives – Wolfe is hired to investigate a toy company with dangerous products.

IMMUNE TO MURDER
Immune to Murder – A doctor is killing by vaccine.
Will to Murder – A will encourages the beneficiaries to kill the others. (alternate title for Immune to Murder)

MURDER IS NO JOKE
Murder is No Joke – Archie is on a date at an off-Broadway variety show where a comedian is killed.
Murder in the Yolk – Poison by eggs.

FOURTH OF JULY PICNIC
Fourth of July Picnic – Murder, or food poisoning? Murder by food poisoning?
The Labor Union Murder – A labor union’s right hand man is killed. (alternate title for Fourth of July Picnic)

EASTER PARADE
Easter Parade – One of the guys has to dress as the Easter Bunny in the Parade.
Easter Charade – Wolfe sets a trap at an Easter egg hunt.

CHRISTMAS PARTY
Christmas Party – Wolfe hosts a Christmas party for the Corpus bunch.
Christmas Smarty – A villain sends clues for murders on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Smarty – Wolfe is ‘forced’ into a Trivia Night at a local pub at Christmas

CHAMPAGNE FOR ONE
Airplane for One – A pilot is murdered while flying solo.
Foot Pain for One – Fritz gets gout. Or maybe Wolfe does.

PLOT IT YOURSELF
Plot it Yourself – Wolfe receives clues before the murders are committed.
Murder in Style – Someone in a tuxedo is killing people (alternate title for Plot it Yourself)

THE RODEO MURDER
The Rodeo Murder – A clown is murdered. It’s not Archie’s first rodeo.
The Crow Murder – A football team’s mascot is murdered.

POISON A LA CARTE
Poison of the Heart – A black widow lures Theodore.
Poison in a Tart – Murder at a dessert exhibition.

METHOD THREE FOR MURDER
Christmas Tree for Murder- Murder at a Hallmark-like Christmas tree farm.
Method Man’s Murder – Rapper Method Man is murdered.

TOO MANY CLIENTS
Too Many Diets – Dr. Parker says Wolfe needs to cut down his cholesterol.
Too Many Giants – Wolfe investigates a murder at a circus freak show.

THE FINAL DEDUCTION
The Final Seduction – Saul falls for a femme fatale.
The Final Reduction – Fritz starts experimenting with a new cooking fad

EENY, MEENY, MURDER, MO
Larry, Curly, Murder Moe – Murder at a Three Stooges Convention
Eeny, Meeny, Murder to Go – A pizza delivery guy is murdered.

DEATH OF A DEMON
Death of a Demon – A player is killed during a game of Dungeons and Dragons
The Gun Puzzle – How was a gun the murder weapon, with no firing pin? (alternate title for Death of a Demon)

COUNTERFEIT FOR MURDER
Count the Feet for Murder – The distance between Wolfe’s suspect and the body seemingly exonerates him.
The Counterfeit Berber – The provenance of a Berber carpet is key to solving the case.

GAMBIT
The Hamlet Gambit – Wolfe tries to prove a son guilty of murdering his father.
The Dammit Gambit – Rowcliffe tries to take Cramer’s job. Wolfe and Archie step in.

THE MOTHER HUNT
The Brother Hunt – Something is up as a twin hires Wolfe to find his missing brother.
The Other Stunt – Murder on a movie set.

MURDER IS CORNY (good thing we’re G-rated here)
Murder is Candy Corny – It’s a Halloween case of poisoned candy.
Murder is Thorny – Rare roses are at the heart of a murder.

KILL NOW – PAY LATER
Bill Now – Pay Later – Somebody is killing to protect a credit scam.
Kiss Now – Slay Later – A blind date leads to murder.

BLOOD WILL TELL
Mud Will Tell – Archie solves a case from mud, ala Sherlock Holmes.
Blood in the Well – A body is found in a well. Then another, below that one.

A RIGHT TO DIE
A Wight to Fry – Paths cross with Jules de Grandin.
A Knight to Lie – Murder at a Ren Faire.

THE DOORBELL RANG
The Doorman May Hang – Archie’s favorite doorman at The Flamingo Club is accused of murder.
The Telegram Sang – Wolfe gets a warning by singing telegram.

DEATH OF A DOXY
Death by Proxy – Someone is killing innocents for the crimes of the guilty.
Death at the Roxy – Someone kills the woman sitting next to Archie at the movies.

THE FATHER HUNT
The Father Hunt – A woman shows up claiming Archie is the father of her baby.
The Feather Hunt – A rare eagle feather is sought as a key clue.

DEATH OF A DUDE
Death Be Not Rude – An etiquette expert is killed.
Breath of Solitude – A man is strangled alone in a locked room.

PLEASE PASS THE GUILT
Please Pass the Guilt – A priest is murdered after he hears a Confession.
Please Skip the Wilt – Wilted lettuce leads Wolfe to a murderer.

A FAMILY AFFAIR
A Family Affair – Archie’s young cousins from Ohio come and wreak havoc in the Brownstone.
A Day at the Fair – Archie gets pulled into a murder at the State Fair.

BITTER END
Bitter Blend – Somebody poisons Wolfe’s coffee.
Quitter Friend – A one-time friend who ghosted Archie shows up but is murdered on the doorstep.

FRAME UP FOR MURDER
Lame Up For Murder – Horse and jockey murders at the track.
Blame PUP For Murder – The Professional Union of Prognosticators hires Wolfe to clear a member of murder.

ASSAULT ON A BROWNSTONE
Salt on a Scone – Someone tampers with some of Fritz’s scones, which Archie took to a picnic.
Assault with a Ground Stone – A client is being assaulted by someone using prehistoric tools.

More From the Brownstone

Stay at Home

Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone

Meet Nero Wolfe
The R-Rated Nero Wolfe
Radio & Screen Wolfe
A&E’s ‘A Nero Wolfe Mystery’
The Lost 1959 Pilot
The Mets in “Please Pass the Guilt”
A Matter of Identity (original story)
Death of a Doxy; and Koufax or Mays?
Hercule Poirot Visits Nero Wolfe
I Know that Actor!
The Big Store (Wolf J. Flywheel)
Welcome to Kanawha Spa – The Wolfe Pack 2024 Greenbrier Weekend
A Toast To Nero Wolfe – From the Wolfe Pack 2024 Greenbrier Weekend

3 Good Reasons

3 Good Reasons – ‘Murder is No Joke’
3 Good Reasons – ‘Black Orchids’
3 Good Reasons – ‘Not Quite Dead Enough’
3 Good Reasons – ‘Murder is Corny’
3 Good Reasons – ‘Immune to Murder’
3 Good Reason – ‘Booby Trap’

The Greenstreet Chronicles (Pastiches based on the Radio Show)

Stamped for Murder

The Careworn Cuff – Part One
The Careworn Cuff – Part Two
The Careworn Cuff – Part Three

Bob Byrne’s ‘A (Black) Gat in the Hand’ made its Black Gate debut in 2018 and has returned every Summer since.

His ‘The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes’ column ran every Monday morning at Black Gate from March, 2014 through March, 2017. And he irregularly posts on Rex Stout’s gargantuan detective in ‘Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone.’ He is a member of the Praed Street Irregulars, and founded www.SolarPons.com (the only website dedicated to the ‘Sherlock Holmes of Praed Street’).

He organized Black Gate’s award-nominated ‘Discovering Robert E. Howard’ series, as well as the award-winning ‘Hither Came Conan’ series. Which is now part of THE Definitive guide to Conan. He also organized 2023’s ‘Talking Tolkien.’

He has contributed stories to The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories — Parts III, IV, V, VI, XXI, and XXXIII.

He has written introductions for Steeger Books, and appeared in several magazines, including Black Mask, Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine, The Strand Magazine, and Sherlock Magazine.

You can definitely ‘experience the Bobness’ at Jason Waltz’s ’24? in 42′ podcast.