Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone: Stay at Home – Day 55

Monday, April 11, 2022 Bob Byrne Comments 0 Comment

So, in 2020, as the Pandemic settled in like an unwanted relative who just came for a week and is still tying up the bathroom, I did a series of posts for the FB Page of the Nero Wolfe fan club, The Wolfe Pack. I speculated on what Stay at Home would be like for Archie, living in the Brownstone with Nero Wolfe, Fritz Brenner, and Theodore Horstmann. I have already re-posted days one through fifty-two. Here is day fifty five (May 15). It helps if you read the series in order, so I’ve included links to the earlier entries.

Day Fifty Five – 2020 Stay at Home

I had to step out and help Fred find Evelyn Lanham’s step-son, Jason. Apparently not satisfied with wasting all of his late father’s money, he wanted to break her; thus the bail-jump. He was hiding out in a rented room above a bar down near the docks. Since the bar wasn’t doing much business, it wasn’t a bad spot. Fred got the initial lead but ended up stuck and I got him the rest of the way. The guy got loose from Fred and dashed through the kitchen and then out the back door, which was where I, ever the good operative, happened to be standing. I lent our quarry a hand. Or rather, a foot. He didn’t seem to appreciate the gesture. Parker was happy with us, and since it was a favor, no payment was necessary.

*******

While the NHL seems to be projecting a ‘when,’ rather than ‘if’ attitude towards resuming the season, I remain doubtful. However, I do believe that there’s a decent chance we’ll have some kind of baseball this year. Except, of course, first there must be a greedy fight between the owners and the players. Because in professional sports, which is an industry that prints money, there’s still never enough for management and labor. I do believe that both sides will reach an agreement and we’ll have some baseball.

And in a nation reeling from this Pandemic and lock down, the return of the National Pastime will be a good thing. Even if we can’t sit at the ballpark, look at that green diamond, and eat a hot dog. It’s a start. And even a safe start is a step in the right direction. Hopefully the Mets look more like they did in 2015 than they did in 2018. I’ll even take last year’s version.

*******

In this changed world, if Wolfe gets upset every time the menu isn’t exactly what he wants, meals are not going to be much fun at the Brownstone. Fritz said that the cheapest acceptable pork loin he could find this week was five times the normal price. Some items are disappearing from stores entirely. The man truly is a magician in the kitchen, but some dishes are getting harder for him. And Wolfe is the most unsympathetic, unempathetic, un-anything you care to name, employer, when it comes to his food. Fritz knows how Wolfe is, but he doesn’t deserve the abuse he gets. It’s a reason I eat everything he puts in front of me, even when it’s something I don’t like.

After Wolfe’s performance at lunch, I warned him that if he repeated it at dinner, I personally would make lunch tomorrow. And we would be having chili-cheese coneys. And he knew that I meant it.

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Fritz and I watched a thirties gangster film for Movie Night: The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse. Yes, that’s the actual title. Not sure how the censors missed that one. Edward G. Robinson is a doctor who has a clinical interest in the physical effects of crime. So, he becomes a jewel thief and records his own reactions – blood pressure, etc.

As if that’s not hokey enough, he wants a bigger sample, so he finds a fence, played by Claire Trevor, joins her gang, and ends up taking over as ‘The Professor,’ wresting her affections away from Bogart (Rocks Valentine). Yep. His announced vacation from work time up, he ‘retires’ and gives the gang back to Bogart. It actually stays that silly to the end, when Robinson, for research purposes, murders Bogart with poison. I enjoy classic gangster flicks, but the premise for this one was thinner than one of Fritz’s potato pancakes.

Nice bit of trivia: John Huston co wrote the screenplay. Which meant that Robinson, Bogart, Trevor and Huston were on a film together ten years before they did Key Largo. Which was a slightly better movie. I promised Fritz that better gangster movies were in his future. Though it would be tough for him to best his jalapeno popcorn seasoning.

Stay at Home

Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone

Meet Nero Wolfe
The R-Rated Nero Wolfe
Radio & Screen Wolfe
A&E’s ‘A Nero Wolfe Mystery’
The Lost 1959 Pilot
The Mets in “Please Pass the Guilt”
A Matter of Identity (original story)

3 Good Reasons

3 Good Reasons – ‘Not Quite Dead Enough’
3 Good Reasons – ‘Murder is Corny’
3 Good Reasons – ‘Immune to Murder’
3 Good Reason – ‘Booby Trap’

The Greenstreet Chronicles (Pastiches based on the Radio Show)

Stamped for Murder

The Careworn Cuff – Part One
The Careworn Cuff – Part Two
The Careworn Cuff – Part Three

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Bob_TieSmile150.jpg Bob Byrne’s ‘A (Black) Gat in the Hand’ made its Black Gate debut in the summer of 2018 and will be back yet again in 2022.

His ‘The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes’ column ran every Monday morning at Black Gate from March, 2014 through March, 2017. And he irregularly posts on Rex Stout’s gargantuan detective in ‘Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone.’ He is a member of the Praed Street Irregulars, founded www.SolarPons.com (the only website dedicated to the ‘Sherlock Holmes of Praed Street’) and blogs about Holmes and other mystery matters at Almost Holmes.

He organized Black Gate’s award-nominated ‘Discovering Robert E. Howard’ series, as well as the award-winning ‘Hither Came Conan’ series.

He has contributed stories to The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories – Parts III, IV, V, VI and XXI.

He has written introductions for Steeger Books, and appeared in several magazines, including Black Mask, Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine, The Strand Magazine, and Sherlock Magazine.