Report from the Field: Three Small Children Tell Us How to Warrior Right

Last week, I was surrounded by three young children that I did not in fact know, for reasons that are slightly unclear to me. I usually try to avoid these situations, much like I avoid being trapped in a snake pit. Anyhow, seeing that I was the adult in charge, I took it upon myself to get them to help me craft a perfect barbarian conqueror. Because kids have insight and their disorganized play terrifies me.
Me: Okay, kids. Let’s talk about barbarian conquerors.
Kid 1 (blonde boy, maybe 5 years old): What’s a barbarian warrior?
Me: Um, someone who comes and takes stuff from you and makes you do what you they want you to do.
Kid 2 (little girl, maybe 4, brown hair): Like my mom?
Me (looking around for adultier adult. No luck): What the he.. hey. Hey. Yes. Like your mom.
Kid 1: My mom likes special grape juice.










