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Immortals Sucks. Sorry I Don’t Have a Funnier Title Than That

Immortals Sucks. Sorry I Don’t Have a Funnier Title Than That

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immortals-posterlImmortals (2011)
Directed by Tarsem Singh. Starring Henry Cavill, Stephen Dorff, Mickey Rourke, Freida Pinto, Isabel Lucas, Luke Evans, Kellan Lutz.

Relativity Media and Rogue Pictures should be thankful that they released Immortals the same week as Adam Sandler’s Jack and Jill, which has turned into the One-Stop Shopping place for hilariously negative reviews. The Adam Sandler beat-up took the attention away from Immortals’s poor reviews, and likely helped push the film to its #1 spot at the box office for the weekend. I can imagine the scene at the multiplexes:

“So, honey, what do you want to see?”

“Anything but Jack and Jill.”

“Okay, how about that thing that looks like Clash of the Titans?”

But even though watching Immortals meant that I wasn’t watching Jack and Jill and therefore helping the betterment of global society, I ain’t letting Immortals off the hook for a moment. Except to praise the wacky headgear.

In a development so startling it may upset the balance between Law and Chaos, Immortals manages to be a worse fantasy movie than the recent Conan the Barbarian. If you understand how much I loathe the Marcus Nispel Conan fiasco, you know that I do not make that statement lightly.

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Hunger Games Trailer Released

Hunger Games Trailer Released

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200px-hunger_gamesYoung adult fiction has a lot going for it in recent years. In the wake of the Harry Potter craze, there’s an entire generation of young people who have grown up with the understanding that reading is a cool way to spend your time and entertain yourself.

Certainly, there has been some fall out from this positive trend. Personally, I can’t stand the Twilight films (although, in fairness, my wife assures me that the novels are much better), which have definitely inherited the youth mania mantle from young Mr. Potter. Vampires and zombies are all the rage, often because it’s what this “Harry Potter generation” seems to be choosing to read.

While the fantasy and young adult horror genres have had commercial success, there’s also been a growth among young adult science fiction. Specifically, dystopian science fiction set in an indistinct future era, focusing mostly on social issues. This sort of “soft science fiction” has long been part of the genre, but it’s really coming into its own withsome of the recent series. Among them was Scott Westerfeld’s fantastic Uglies trilogy (Amazon, B&N), now being made into a film, and Ally Condie’s Matched (Amazon, B&N) and Crossed (Amazon, B&N). These books speak to young people, in part because it resonates with the ever-present sense among the young that the world isn’t fair and that the people with power to make things better don’t care or, even worse, are actively out to get them. In these books, that is often quite literally the case.

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Fantasy TV Update – Nov. 14

Fantasy TV Update – Nov. 14

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rumplestilskin
Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin takes the place of the fairy godmother, by making a deal with Cinderella (Jessy Schram).

Miss some network fantasy over the last week? We’ve got you covered:

Once Upon a Time – “The Price of Gold”

The fairy tales diverge more and more from the traditional ones, as we learn the backstory of Cinderella. Just as her fairy godmother is about to help change her life, she is instead incinerated in a burst of flame … by Rumplestiltskin, who steals her magic wand. Cinderella, he says, is better off without magic anyway. But, of course, if she really wants to change her life, he’ll be willing to help out. For a price.

The “reality” tale is based around Ashley, a pregnant teenager who has agreed to put her child up for adoption, using Mr. Gold as the person handling the adoption. This brings up a lot of guilty baggage for Emma, in relation to her own decision to give up Henry all those years ago. …

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Clarkesworld Issue #62

Clarkesworld Issue #62

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cw_62_300The November issue of Clarkesworld is currently online. Featured fiction: “A Militant Peace” by David Klecha and Tobias S. Buckell, “The Smell of Orange Groves” by Lavie Tidhar and part two of Catherynne M. Valente’s “Silently and Very Fast.” Non fiction by Nathaniel Tapley, Jeremy L. C. Jones and Neil Clarke.  The cover art is by Julie Dillon.

All of this is available online for free; there’s even an audio podcast version of “A Militant Peace” read by Mike Allen. However, nothing is really free. The magazine is supported by “Clarkesworld Citizens” who donate $10 or more.

We last covered Clarkesworld with issue #55.

Blogging Sax Rohmer’s The Hand of Fu Manchu, Part One – “The Flower of Silence”

Blogging Sax Rohmer’s The Hand of Fu Manchu, Part One – “The Flower of Silence”

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si-fan-mysterieshand-of-fu-manchu“The Flower of Silence” was the first installment of Sax Rohmer’s The Si-Fan Mysteries. The story was first published in Collier’s on April 8, 1916 and was later expanded to comprise the first four chapters of the third Fu-Manchu novel, The Si-Fan Mysteries first published in 1917 by Cassell in the UK and by McBride & Nast in the US under the variant title, The Hand of Fu Manchu. This third serial began only four months after the second concluded. The US book title marks the first time that the hyphen was dropped from the character’s name, although it was retained within the text.

“The Flower of Silence” finds Nayland Smith and Dr. Petrie rooming at the New Louvre Hotel in London. Smith has been recalled from Cairo by his superiors. When the story opens on a chilly November night, Smith has returned to their apartment to inform Petrie that he has just leaned the name of the mysterious secret society that the late Dr. Fu-Manchu served; it is the Si-Fan and is based in Tibet. The reason for Smith’s recall to London is that Great Britain’s former Ambassador to Peking, Sir Gregory Hale has recently returned to London following the completion of his expedition to Mongolia. Sir Gregory was to have delivered a report on Tibetan Lamaism to the India Office but has failed to do so. Sir Gregory has not left his suite at the New Louvre Hotel since his return for Sir Gregory has uncovered the existence of the Si-Fan and will only share that secret with Nayland Smith.

Upon their arrival at his suite, Smith and Petrie learn from Sir Gregory’s valet, Beeton that the former Ambassador has been struck dumb and can only mutter incoherently. He dies in his bed shortly after Smith and Petrie’s arrival but leaves behind a cryptic message scrawled in a notebook containing the mysterious phrases:

 “Guard brass box…Tibetan frontier…Key of India…Beware man with the limp…Yellow rising…Watch Tibet…the Si-Fan”

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SIR JULIAN THE APOSTATE: Doomed Knight, Tragic Hero

SIR JULIAN THE APOSTATE: Doomed Knight, Tragic Hero

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legends-cvr2Swords Against Darkness.
Heroic Fantasy.
The Year’s Best Horror Stories.
Distant Worlds.
Alien Worlds.
Void.

What sword-slinging hero appeared in all of these anthologies and magazines (and more) before his adventures were collected into a single impressive volume? The answer is Sir Julian the Apostate, a knight fallen from grace, and as doomed a hero as you’ll find in the history of sword-and-sorcery fiction. For swashbuckling fantasy as dark and seductive as a vampiric lamia, look no further than the saga of Sir Julian, as chronicled in Darrell Schweitzer’s WE ARE ALL LEGENDS.

The twelve stories comprising the book were first published between 1976 to 1981, definitely a “golden age” for sword-and-sorcery novels, magazines, and comics. Yet unlike much of what was published during the S&S “boom” of the era, Schweitzer’s tales of Sir Julian and his weird fate are all timeless gems.

“It was in an old land that the battle had taken place; a country of empty halls and deserted castles where ruined walls stood protecting nothing from nothing, and roadways faded into the earth and led nowhere. For three days in this place the swords of the two armies sang their terrible song on shields and armor, and when the fighting was done and all was still, a deep fog covered the sodden ground.”
–WE ARE ALL LEGENDS

This cycle of related stories includes witches, demons, vampires, zombies, ghosts, and far stranger things. It blurs and then erases the line between fantasy and horror. The book’s main character enables Schweitzer to twist the whole “knight on a quest” idea into a deep strangeness all its own. …

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Goth Chick News: Ridley Scott Fans Rejoice

Goth Chick News: Ridley Scott Fans Rejoice

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image014Raise your hand if you’re a Ridley Scott fan.

Hands up now.

Okay, well that’s pretty much everyone so I’m probably about to make you all very happy.

For those of you who are less familiar with the offerings Scott is famous for, let me begin with a short history lesson.

In the recent past Ridley Scott was the director behind Robin Hood (the Russell Crowe version not that abomination with Kevin Costner), and Gladiator.  In the 90’s it was Thelma and Louise, and Black Rain.

But way back in the late 70’s and early 80’s Scott hit consecutive home runs with only his second and third directorial outings; Alien in 1979 and Blade Runner in 1982.

The sci-fi and horror genres would never be the same.

Both movies took place in the future. Yet very contrary to most depictions of snowy white flight decks and Jetson-like gadgetry, Scott’s future was grimy, inconvenient and crawling with things that wanted you dead.  Whether it was an erotic dancer who could crush your skull with her inner thighs or an eight-foot drooling crustacean that could eat off your face with not one but two protruding jaws, the movie-going-public was clearly scarred and addicted simultaneously.

The cult-of-Scott may not have been instantaneous but it was darn near close.

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Art of the Genre: Inteview with Daniel R. Horne

Art of the Genre: Inteview with Daniel R. Horne

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horne-saving-300

It’s Autumn here in L.A. which means a bit of rain slips into the forecast and the temperature falls to a frigid 55 degrees. Ryan Harvey likes to roll into our Redondo offices with a large coat, collection of Blu-ray discs in this arms and a smile on his face. It’s a good work if you can get it, and as I sat relishing the sun warming me from my beach-side window I got an all too familiar buzz from my receptionist’s desk.

Somehow, someway, there is a different kind of sound when Kandy transfers a call from John O’Neill to my office. I’d like to say it comes off more urgent, but instead I’m going to confess it feels more like evil…

Nonetheless, I picked up that phone and was greeted by the all too familiar vocal styling of our displaced Canadian Editor-in-Chief. After a handful of sentences, all finished with ‘aye’, I was directed to LAX for a flight to Philadelphia.

Normally I’d protest such an abrupt departure from sunny southern California for the northeast in November, but John always has a carrot well worth the trip. This time, I was crossing the Delaware River in reverse to George Washington’s famous sneak-attack as I slipped into New Jersey for a meeting with fantasy artist extraordinaire Daniel R. Horne.

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National Novel Writing Month—Whether You Like It Or Not

National Novel Writing Month—Whether You Like It Or Not

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nanowrimoI’ve discussed National Novel Writing Month before, and if you want the lowdown on this annual global community creative writing project to kick people to a 50,000-word novel in thirty days, you can read about it here. Today I come to you as a scarred old warrior observing the changes that can happen after a few consecutive years of participation. Not changes to me, but changes to the world that NaNoWriMo has created.

I have now been on the battlefront of NaNoWriMo for four years, which makes me a “veteran.” I’ve also “won” three years running, and with a current total of 22,000 words as of Day 7, it looks like I’ll rack up another victory this year, walking away with a PNG badge. And a finished manuscript, the best reward possible.

After the third year of participation, I discovered something, and that in turn has brought me a realization this year: the actual “rules” of NaNoWriMo are irrelevant. You no longer need to try to “write a new novel, starting from zero words, and reach 50,000 before the end of the month.” Since National Novel Writing Month isn’t a contest offering a prize, you can’t “do it wrong.” You can “cheat” on your word count on the official site—many do, I’m sure, since I’ve seen some impossible word counts—but that achieves nothing. There are other, creative ways to break the rules. You can choose to start writing a screenplay instead, or tackle short stories one after the other (as I did last year), or use the time to finish a novel you’ve already started (as I am doing this year). NaNoWriMo’s official term for anyone who does this a “Rebel.” It isn’t a pejorative term, but the welcome umbrella for anyone who wants to use November to kick their writing machines’ engine back to sputtering life. Every year, I find more people joining the ranks of the Rebel Alliance; it’s usually folks who have succeeded writing new novels in the previous years.

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A review of Scarce Resources by Brendan Detzner

A review of Scarce Resources by Brendan Detzner

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scarce-resourcesScarce Resources, by Brendan Detzner
Self-published (153 pages, $9.99, July 2011)

Brendan Detzner has been reading his stories of unholy compromise, quiet madness and apocalypses both great and small at Chicago open mic events for several years now. His first collection, Scarce Resources, is now available. If you’re not familiar with his work, these eighteen stories are a great overview of what he’s been doing.

The collection opens with “The Black Plague,” a mixture of bio-terror and supernatural horror that shows how much more fearsome life-and-death decisions are when placed in human hands than when left to the whims of nature.

“Dinosaurs,” “Dress Rehearsal” and “Humility” are also set in post-apocalyptic worlds where the drive to continue and rebuild society is either an act of ultimate hope or ultimate denial. I especially liked the playful tone of “Dinosaurs” (opening on a tennis match with the Devil), while “Dress Rehearsal” is reminiscent of Philip K. Dick.

“Music for Scalpel and Prepared Piano,” the shortest piece in the collection, illustrates in less than a hundred words how the path of evil can so easily become a slippery slope. “Quiet” deals with a similar theme, except that the atrocities he describes are sadly real (and still being funded by your tax dollars).

Given the recent death of Amy Winehouse, “The House Rock and Roll Built” may seem a bit more timely than originally intended, while “Veronica” portrays a brutal woman living in a brutal world, finding humanity in a bit of nostalgia.

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