Goth Chick News: In Dog Years We’re Seven
Welcome to Goth Chick post number fifty-two.
It was one year ago this week that I moved into the underground offices beneath Black Gate headquarters and began tackling the challenges of a new job. As I’m sure you can appreciate, those early days were a singular challenge. First there was the task of getting all the boys around here to put the toilet seat in the down position, and then the tedious undertaking of choosing the first group of interns — and assigning them to clean the various science experiments out of the communal refrigerator. To say nothing of the effort needed to find new locations for all the cleaning supplies, so I could make space for my desk and drink blender.
Given my initial reception from the other staff members, I was struck with the sneaking suspicion that our editor and chief, John O’Neill, may not have been completely forthcoming in describing the scope of my new role. For instance, several of my fellow staff members kept dropping by to inform me the coffee maker was smoking from lack of coffee, or that the bucket under the leak in the ceiling was overflowing.
In spite of these numerous inane interruptions, I set about to do what John had asked of me: bringing my “unique skills to bear on the daily challenges of the Black Gate team.” True that the staff was certainly a tad heavy on boys wearing shirts with Star Trek quotes, and a sci-fi convention anywhere in the world left the phones unanswered and the mail piling up. It was therefore my task to equalize this imbalance by doing exactly that which I excelled at: Throwing mocking, dark, threatening female sarcasm right into the center of the Enterprise bridge known as Black Gate. So, for your amusement (as well as my own), Goth Chick News went live in November, 2009.