Black Gate Goes to the Summer Movies: Men in Black 3

Black Gate Goes to the Summer Movies: Men in Black 3

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men_in_black_3Before getting into Men in Black Part the Third, I must retract a promise made in an earlier post, where I vowed to review eighteen of this summer’s genre movie releases. But the blame rests with Paramount, not with me. In a move that can best be described as a vote of “less-than-zero confidence” in their own product, Paramount has delayed the release of G.I. Joe: Retaliation from next month to March 2013. With only a month to go before its originally slated release, and with a promotional campaign already going full throttle, G.I. Joe just got banned from the summer leagues. The excuse: “3D conversion.” Uh huh. I can’t imagine how terrible the film must actually be if Paramount chose to ditch it this late and swallow a few million bucks of promotion. I estimated that The Amazing Spider-Man would viciously pound G.I. Joe in its second frame, and Paramount apparently decided that G.I. Joe’s first frame would be so poor that they didn’t want to go through the embarrassment. I wonder how much Hasbro’s Battleship flop affected Paramount’s decision to drop the toy company’s other movie of the summer?

Anyway, Men in Black 3, a.k.a. MIIIB, pronounced “Mieb” and known on Arrakis as “Mi’i’d.” The film that, whatever else it may achieve, has the distinction of taking down The Avengers from the #1 box-office slot after reigning for three weeks.

The original Men in Black was a minor miracle in the summer of 1997. (Keep in mind, this was the same summer as Batman and Robin; we were desperate.) It was compact, clever, breezy, and crackled with the chemistry between Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith at the height of his comic powers. It also looked like ideal sequel material, but when Men in Black II arrived and stunk in 2002, the first film began to look like a perfect one-off: nothing more was needed.

Men in Black 3 is a large improvement over Men in Black II, and even though it runs more than fifteen minutes longer — the longest of the three films — the second sequel moves faster and gets back some of the click of the ’97 movie. However, the first Men in Black still seems like a one-off. Men in Black 3 is a bland film at worst, and somewhat enjoyable at its select best.

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Weird Tales Reopens to Submissions

Weird Tales Reopens to Submissions

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weird-tales-359aAttention all aspiring fantasy writers! (Yeah, I know that’s most of you.) Weird Tales has re-opened to submissions.

Now, I know you never read Submission Guidelines. But before you run off to send editor Marvin Kaye your latest short fiction masterpiece, I urge you to check out the guidelines. There’s lots of news — for example, the pay rate has dropped from 5 cents/word to 3 cents/word — but perhaps most interesting is the announcement that the magazine has shifted to themed issues. Upcoming themes include Elder Gods & Cthulhu (#360), Fairy Tales (#361) and Undead (#362), and if you’ve got a story in the latter two categories, the editors are especially interested:

Please know that each issue of Weird Tales – beginning with issue 360 – will be featuring a theme. This means that HALF of each issue will be devoted to strange and innovative takes on that theme. This also means that HALF of each issue will be devoted to the unclassifiable and eclectic tales that have always been the soul of Weird Tales.

Our current needs are… Stories for our Undead issue (#362). This issue is quite far along, but we seek unusual and radical takes on Zombies, Ghouls, chiang-shih’s, the Lich and other creatures yet undefined. Even vampires, if you have found a new wrinkle. Theme-related poetry is welcome.

We also have a bit of space left in the Fairy Tales issue (#361), so if you have worked on something for us, send away.

Be sure you are submitting an unpublished story or poem.

Because we publish half of the magazine as unthemed content, you may submit any variety of fantasy including science fiction (though we will not use much of the latter). We are currently most interested in stories between 3,000-5,000 words, but longer stories are acceptable. However, it may take quite a while for a long or unthemed story to be published. Short shorts, i. e., flash fiction, are definitely of interest to us.

The complete guidelines are here.

Triptych, by J.M. Frey: A Review

Triptych, by J.M. Frey: A Review

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TriptychTriptych
J.M. Frey
Dragon Moon Press (286 pp, $19.95, March 2011)

Science fiction typically makes certain assumptions about alien races. For example, that they use language in ways we understand. Or, that they imagine gender and sex in ways familiar to us. The second is a far more unlikely assumption; language, or communication more broadly, is something one would expect to develop in intelligent species, and in a way defines for humans what intelligence is. But sex necessarily is a thing of the body, and so will vary with the composition of the body. An alien body won’t have human sexual responses.

J.M. Frey’s novel Triptych tries to tell a story with that awareness in mind. I’m not entirely convinced by the book, but I think it’s effective overall. Both its flaws and virtues seem to me to follow from specific genre traditions, with the result that it feels oddly like an old-fashioned science fiction novel that happens to have some twenty-first-century attitudes about sexuality.

A triptych is a work of art, typically a painting, in three parts. Usually the central part is the most prominent. That’s essentially the structure of the novel: three parts, plus a prologue and epilogue. The prologue sets up a near-future world in which alien refugees have come to earth. Their integration into human society comes through working with a multinational organization called the Institute, physicists and linguists and other specialists, all given military training. The first part of the story proper then skips back to 1983, setting up a time travel plot. The second part gives us the tale of one of the alien refugees, up to the point where the prologue begins. The third part, and the epilogue, wrap up the plot and solve the remaining mysteries. And through all these sections, the book is actually telling a love story, or at least the story of an unconventional relationship: another triptych, a polyamorous love between an alien and two humans.

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Charlene Brusso Reviews The Cloud Roads

Charlene Brusso Reviews The Cloud Roads

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the-cloud-roadsThe Cloud Roads
Martha Wells
Night Shade Books (300 pp, $14.99, February 2011)
Reviewed by Charlene Brusso

I always look forward to reading anything by Martha Wells, because she always gives me something marvelous and new–and The Cloud Roads doesn’t disappoint.

Moon is an outsider. He’s drifted all over, living with one tribe or clan or family after another, and never met another soul like himself. Because Moon has a secret: he’s a shapeshifter. With a little concentration he can alter his body from something that appears human and “normal” to a scaly humanoid with big dragon-like wings and sharp, retractable claws. Orphaned as a child, he’s been on his own ever since, never quite fitting in, and never staying long. It’s not safe to stay, because if anyone found out what he was, what he could become, they’d be certain to think he was one of the vile, noisome Fell, creatures from nightmares who live to hunt and consume humankind.

Moon isn’t Fell. Hes’ not sure what he is. And Moon doesn’t want to be alone. That’s just how things are.

Then he meets another shapeshifter: Stone, someone like himself. From Stone, Moon learns about the Raksura, who shift between groundling and dragonish shapes and live in courts run by Queens. There’s a long list of hierarchical rules to learn, but Moon is welcome to come back with Stone to Indigo Cloud Court and become one of its warriors. More than welcome, in fact.

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Clarkesworld #68 plus PKD and Gnosticism

Clarkesworld #68 plus PKD and Gnosticism

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cw_68_300The May  issue of Clarkesworld is currently online. Featured fiction: “Prayer” by Robert Reed, “Synch Me, Kiss Me, Drop” by Suzanne Church and “All the Things the Moon is Not” by Alexander Lumans.  There are also audio versions of all three stories, read by Kate Baker. Non fiction by Aletha Kontis, Jeremy L.C. Jones and Elizabeth Bear.  The cover art is by Jessada Suthi.

All of this is available online for free. However, nothing is really free. The magazine is supported by “Clarkesworld Citizens” who donate $10 or more. There’s also a Kindle edition.

One personal reaction to Bear’s very funny essay, “Another Word: Dear Speculative Fiction, I’m Glad We Had This Talk”: I agree that Lenny Bruce didn’t get funnier when he got angrier (his drug problems certainly didn’t help), but I found George Carlin to be more interesting the angrier he got. Maybe he wasn’t quite as funny, but his anger certainly resonated with me.  Sometimes having your “face pressed down into a trough of human misery until the bubbles stop” is necessary to remind people that life is not a television sitcom. At least the ones who haven’t already drowned.

Someone else who got less interesting when he started taking himself too seriously (and, once again, the drugs didn’t help) was Philip K. Dick. Simon Critchley examines Dick’s metaphysical worldview as expressed in Exegeiss, a posthumously published series of philosophical 133948681ramblings. While I tend to think all this stuff really is the result of a bad acid trip, Critchley as a professor of philosophy for the most part keeps a straight face. Some of you may laugh out loud not only at the source material, but the attempt at exegesis.

We last covered Clarkesworld with issue #67.

One Week Left to Win a copy of Thunder in the Void from Haffner Press!

One Week Left to Win a copy of Thunder in the Void from Haffner Press!

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thunder-in-the-voidWe’ve received some great entries in our Thunder in the Void giveaway, which we announced last week. Here are some that came in today:

  • Midnight in the Robot Graveyard
  • The Cult of the Broken Sun
  • Message from the Haunted Asteroid

Doesn’t that sound like fun? You could be part of it — all you have to do is submit the title of an imaginary Space Opera story.

What’s at stake is the latest archival quality hardcover from Haffner Press, Thunder in the Void, a massive collection of 16 Space Opera tales by Henry Kuttner. The most compelling title — as selected by a crack team of Black Gate judges, renowned experts in quality pulp fiction all — will receive a free copy, complements of Haffner Press and Black Gate magazine.

Thunder in the Void gathers classic pulp fiction from Planet Stories, Weird Tales, Super Science Stories, and even rarer sources, including “War-Gods of the Void,” “Raider of the Spaceways,” “We Guard the Black Planet,” “Crypt-City of the Deathless Ones,” and the previously unpublished “The Interplanetary Limited.”  Most appear here in book form for the first time.

One submission per person, please. Submissions must be received by May 31st, 2012. Winner will be contacted by e-mail, so use a real e-mail address maybe. All submissions must be sent to john@blackgate.com, with the subject line Thunder in the Void, or something obvious like that so I don’t randomly delete it.

All entries become the property of New Epoch Press. No purchase necessary. Must be 12 or older. Decisions of the judges (capricious as they may be) are final. Employees of New Epoch Press are ineligible to enter. Not valid where prohibited by law. Or anywhere postage for a hefty hardcover is more than, like, 10 bucks. Seriously, this book is heavy and we’re on a budget.

Thunder in the Void is 612 pages in high-quality hardcover format, with an introduction by Mike Resnick and a cover price of $40. Cover art is by Norman Saunders. It is available directly from Haffner Press.

Blogging Sax Rohmer’s The Golden Scorpion, Part One – “The Cowled Man”

Blogging Sax Rohmer’s The Golden Scorpion, Part One – “The Cowled Man”

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golden-scorpion-2golden-scorpion-1Sax Rohmer’s The Golden Scorpion was first printed in its entirety in The Illustrated London News Christmas Number in December 1918. It was published in book form in the UK the following year by Methuen and in the US in 1920 by McBride & Nast. Rohmer divided the novel into four sections which is how we shall examine the book over the next four weeks. “The Cowled Man” is the title Rohmer selected for the first part of the book and comprises the first eleven chapters.

Despite featuring several characters from Rohmer’s 1915 novel, The Yellow Claw, The Golden Scorpion marked a return to the style and feel of Rohmer’s Fu-Manchu thrillers which had concluded the previous year with the publication of The Si-Fan Mysteries (1917). Rohmer maintained the more realistic Limehouse crime novel approach of The Yellow Claw for his contemporaneous Red Kerry detective series which started with Dope (1919), but chose to fashion The Golden Scorpion from the same Yellow Peril weird menace cloth that made his reputation as an author. The key difference from the Fu-Manchu thrillers is that Rohmer maintains a third person narrative voice (as he had in The Yellow Claw) rather than recreating the frantic paranoia that marked Dr. Petrie’s first person narratives.

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Gary Gygax’s Hall of Many Panes

Gary Gygax’s Hall of Many Panes

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hall-of-many-panes-gygaxWhew. What a week. I bought a collection of 240 new SF & fantasy paperbacks on Monday, and trying to squeeze them into already-crowded bookshelves in my library is taking some determination. Tomorrow morning I’m throwing some clothes in a bag for a trip to Madison with Patty Templeton and Katie Redding for Wiscon, one of the best conventions in the Midwest.

But tonight, I relaxed and dusted off some of the goodies waiting patiently for my attention. The most intriguing one in the pile is Gary Gygax’s Hall of Many Panes, a boxed mega-adventure from Troll Lord Games, which I purchased on eBay back in March.

Panes was released in 2005, so don’t get too excited if you haven’t heard of it. It’s not a recently-discovered manuscript by the creator of D&D, or anything like that. It was originally written for Gygax’s latter day RPG Lejendary Adventures, but has also been statted for d20 systems, which makes it usable with virtually any of the popular retro-clones on the market like OSRIC or Labyrinth Lord.

Gygax was a master of the mega-adventure, and I’m not sure why he didn’t write more of them, especially at the end of his career when he was experiencing a resurgence.

But then again, I wonder at the fact that the ones he did write — like Necropolis and the massive Castle Zagyg — weren’t more popular, and perhaps that helps explain it.

Anyway, we’re here to talk about Hall of Many Panes. Troll Lord has done a great job assembling a package clearly modeled after the classic TSR boxed sets: inside are three sizable books (76, 96, and 102 pages) and a pamphlet of maps and gaming handouts. The books are a little light on art, but sturdy and highly readable.

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Of Red Moon and Black Mountain and the Anxiety of Tolkien’s Influence

Of Red Moon and Black Mountain and the Anxiety of Tolkien’s Influence

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red-moonRed Moon and Black Mountain
Joy Chant
Ballantine Books (268 pages, $0.95, 1971)

The shadow of The Lord of the Rings is long, indeed. In the 1960s Frodo lived and the reading public was hungry for more, and derivative works like The Sword of Shannara met that demand. This pattern continued into the 1980s with the publication of works like Dennis McKiernan’s Iron Tower trilogy, the series showing the clearest Tolkien “influence” of them all and one that literally provided more of the same. Now, this stuff wasn’t all bad; it filled a need and offered a safe, enjoyable formula. I willingly read many of these works back in the day and occasionally still do. But decades later many of the Tolkien clones haven’t aged all that well. I seem to have a lot less patience for them these days, even though I understand the environment in which they were written, and can appreciate that avoiding the influence of The Lord of the Rings 30-40 years ago must have been very difficult, if not impossible.

Take Joy Chant’s Red Moon and Black Mountain (1970). It’s well-written, not hackwork by any stretch. In 1972 the Mythopoeic Society bestowed its Fantasy Award upon the novel, denoting it as a work that best exemplified “the spirit of the Inklings.” Red Moon and Black Mountain has an unquestionable Tolkien-Lewis quality about it, if by spirit one means rewriting The Lord of the Rings with the framing device of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe tacked on. After a solid start it descends into full-on Tolkien-clone, which probably explains why it’s largely forgotten today.

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Goth Chick News: Joss Whedon’s Other Summer Movie

Goth Chick News: Joss Whedon’s Other Summer Movie

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cabin-in-the-woodsJohn O’Neill here, on behalf of Goth Chick. Goth got a callback for the part of Morticia in the upcoming production of The Addams Family at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theater, and she was outta our offices like a comet.  I found a scrawled note in my chair reading, “Gone all week — cover for me, and there free tickets for opening night in it for you.  Ta!”

So I’m currently sitting at her desk, hoping to tell you about the week’s best goth entertainment, hottest new trailers, and overlooked 80’s horror films. Man, how does she find anything? Her desk is covered in morgue photos, news clippings and — I swear to God — a voodoo doll collection. I’m scared to touch anything, and every one of her interns jumps at least a foot when I try to speak to them.

The heck with it. Stick with what you know. And what I know is that all my friends refuse to talk to me about The Cabin in the Woods.

The Cabin in the Woods, in case you haven’t heard, is Avenger‘s director Joss Whedon’s other summer movie. He was the producer and co-writer of the film, which was directed by Drew Goddard, staff writer for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the writer of Cloverfield. I ‘d tell you more about the movie, but I don’t know anything. All I can find is this sparse description on IMDB:

Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

Seriously, the hush level on this film is amazing. No one will talk about it. It’s like everyone who’s left the theater has been sworn to secrecy. My friends say things like, “Dude, what did you think of that moment, about 30 minutes in?” I tell them I haven’t seen it yet and they mutter under their breath, and say “Go see it.  Immediately.”

Which isn’t going to be easy. While The Avengers is well on the way to becoming, like, the most profitable film in the history of the world, The Cabin in the Woods is more closely following the trajectory of Joss Whedon’s earlier films: it was released on April 13 and has nearly vanished from theaters. Those penetrating and silent stares from my friends are becoming more urgent.

I’m here to pass that urgency along to you. It’s too late for me, but maybe it’s not for you. Somewhere in your town there’s a theater still showing this movie. Don’t be left out. Catch it before it’s gone.

Save yourselves.