Fools in the Hotzone: Saruman as the Bold but Incompetent Firefighter

Fools in the Hotzone: Saruman as the Bold but Incompetent Firefighter

unfinished-talesEvery year the Man sends me to Hazardous Waste Operations and Emergency Response class. These HAZWOPER classes are almost always taught by firefighters because they routinely deal with emergency responses to hazardous materials.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a trend in the way they teach the course — that most of the examples of what not to do when knee-deep in an emergency dealing with hazardous materials comes from the hard lessons of other firefighters. More specifically, they come from the gung-ho firefighters who charge into a dangerous situation, make said situation worse, and other firefighters have to spend time and energy rescuing them instead of dealing with the main problem.

Because I’m a nerd, and I’ve taken this class a lot over the years and my mind wanders, I immediately saw a parallel to the wizards of JRR Tolkien’s Middle-Earth.

Background? Surely:

So at the end of the Second Age, Sauron has completely corrupted the men of Númenor, causing their destruction and his own. Because you can’t keep a good Miaiar down, and especially an extremely bad one like Sauron, he’ll be back. Which is why the Valar of the Utermost West decided to select three of their number to go to middle earth and “deal” with the problem of Sauron’s inevitable return.

From The Return of the King:

They came therefore in the shape of Men, though they were never young and aged only slowly, and they had many powers of mind and hand. The two highest of this order (of whom it is said there were five) were called by the Eldar (elves) Curunir ‘the Man of Skill’, and Mithrandir, ‘the Grey Pilgrim’, but by Men in the North Saruman and Gandalf.

Notice how the original number of three swelled to five? That’s what happens when divine beings make decisions by committee. However, the details of those proceedings are important — nay crucial — in understanding Saruman’s supreme arrogance and the depth of his magnificent solution to the Sauron problem.

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Adventure on Film: The Horseman On the Roof

Adventure on Film: The Horseman On the Roof

tumblr_lu78az8s9c1qlll6ko1_500I didn’t know it at the time, but back when I was ten and surfing through horrendous Tarzan movies on rainy Saturday afternoons, The Horseman On the Roof (Le Hussard Sure le Toit, 1995) was the film I was actually hoping to see. Not that I would have understood much of what was going on, but the kinetic energy of it –– the film’s unswerving certainty that these events matter –– would have transported me right out of my seat.

Better yet, it still does. Horseman opens with a kidnapping and an execution, then tears off on a cross-country pursuit. Nor does the pace slacken. Director Jean-Paul Rappeneau fills even potentially tranquil moments –– a patriot hurriedly donning his overcoat, a restless horse being chosen by torchlight –– with kinetic punch. Horseman is a period piece, make no mistake, but it is also an action movie, and a great one.

True, there’s no overt fantasy element –– beyond the ready fictionalization of history necessary to the telling –– but Horseman is a six-course meal with all the trimmings: call it sword and sorcery without the sorcery.

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Marvel Feature: Red Sonja 6

Marvel Feature: Red Sonja 6

marvel-feature-6-coverSo this issue touches on a pretty sensitive topic for me: book vandalism. Working in libraries, on and off, for most of my adult life, I’ve had to deal with this problem over and over. Some people just swipe whatever reference page they want, rather than using a photocopier. After all, why pay a dime for your own copy when you can steal the information from generations to come for free? Some people just don’t like the fact that certain information is freely available to the public and take it upon themselves to censor library materials. For instance, every single copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves had pages ripped out (and if you guessed they were in the chapter on women’s sexuality, you understand the mind of a censor). Some people just want to write down a phone number or a grocery list and rip out the page of a book that they don’t see any value in. Honestly, write it on the back of a receipt.

Anyway … Red Sonja spends the first four pages of Marvel Feature 6 beheading a pair of jackal-men, which is not much different than any other typical afternoon for her. But when she runs across Karanthes, a priest of Ibis, he explains that those weren’t just two run-of-the-mill half-man/half-jackal bandits, but special agents sent by a priest of Set to kill Sonja before she could meet Karanthes. It seems that Set and Ibis are two gods locked in an endless struggle with one another (Edith Hamilton says different, but that’s neither here nor there) and the priests essentially carry out their struggle on the earthly plane. Karanthes wants to hire Red Sonja to retrieve a document that he believes will help tip the struggle in his god’s favor.

So our mystic doodad of the month is a page torn from the Book of Skelos. We’re told that the Book of Skelos “contains the most fearsome magic-lore on Earth,” although frankly that gets said about a lot of books (including Our Bodies, Ourselves, apparently). While the book is closely guarded, apparently someone managed to tear out one of its pages and make off with it. Now, we never find out what’s on this page, if it contains a spell or a table of contents or just a dedication. (“To my wife, Sheb Niggurath, my most ruthless critic, my most tireless supporter, my everything. I love you, forever.”) And Red Sonja doesn’t really care either, as long as she gets paid.

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Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition on Sale Tomorrow

Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition on Sale Tomorrow

baldurs-gate-enhanced-logoOver ten years ago, at GenCon 1998, I came across a tiny booth in the Grand Hall manned by a very friendly group of software developers from Edmonton, Alberta. They were promoting an upcoming game called Baldur’s Gate and boy, did it look terrific. Traffic in the booth was slow and they seemed grateful for the company — so much so that when I finally left, they handed me part of their display, a giant mock-up of the retail box. To this day it occupies a place of pride in my office.

When Baldur’s Gate was released in November 1998, it quickly became one of the most acclaimed computer role playing games in history. It put those friendly Edmonton developers, an outfit named BioWare, on the road to stardom, and over the next decade they came to dominate the industry with titles like Neverwinter Nights, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Baldur’s Gate, with its splendid story, characters, and revolutionary (for the time) Infinity game engine, still occupies a special place in the hearts of modern gamers. It was released for Windows 95/98 and doesn’t run well on modern machines — so for most of us, Baldur’s Gate is a distant memory, like those late nights playing Dungeon Master on an Amiga.

All that is about to change. A small start-up named Overhaul Games launched by two ex-Bioware employees, co-founder Trent Oster and lead programmer Cameron Tofer, has spent the last two years working on Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition, a complete re-write of the original title for modern platforms. The new version boasts over 400 enhancements — including new high-res cinematics, an enhanced interface, improved multiplayer, core game improvements & bug fixes, higher level cap, over six hours of bonus quests & new adventures, new party members, and much more. It includes both the original game and the 1999 expansion pack, Tales of the Sword Coast.

Best of all, the game has been optimized for modern platforms, including the iPad and Android tablet. I for one can’t wait to sit down on the couch and play Baldur’s Gate on my iPad. You can see more details, including screenshots and a gorgeous trailer, at the Overhaul website.

The PC version of Baldur’s Gate is priced at $19.95; it will be available for download this Wednesday exclusively through the new Beamdog digital distribution platform. iPad and Mac OS editions will be sold through the Mac App Store in November; release date for the Android version is TBA.

Publishing Nightmares

Publishing Nightmares

nightmareOnce upon a time, I had the crazy idea that if a book was good, it would stay in print. I also figured that a “best-of” volume would probably have all the good stories from an author, and I was actually naive enough to think that if a work by a favorite author was out of print, it probably wasn’t as good as the work that was still on shelves.

I had a lot to learn.

Sure, it’s true that a lot of the classics never go out of print. And in my own experience, Sturgeon’s Law seems to hold pretty true — at least 90% of all art is pretty bad, which partly explains why things go out of print. That’s why, when I used to wander through a used bookstore past ranks of shelves holding books with titles and authors I’ve never heard of, I was pretty sure I wasn’t missing much.

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A Weird Fiction Kindle Story Giveaway

A Weird Fiction Kindle Story Giveaway

She Who RunsSleepless, Burning LifeStolen Souls

Hello, Black Gate denizens. Mike Allen here of the Monstrous Posts on Monsters and the Clockwork Phoenix anthologies.

John O’Neill has asked me to write you folks a follow up on how the Clockwork Phoenix 4 Kickstarter I told you about earlier this year turned out (SPOILER ALERT: it was a smashing success) and share tips on some of the tricks I learned. I’ve got something laden with all sorts of graphics that I’ll post for you later in the week.

However, this is not that post!

John has also given me permission to plug the Kindle story promotion that I’m in the midst of. (John is a generous guy. Charming, too!) There is some topical relevance, as there’s an excerpt from my weird fantasy novel The Black Fire Concerto slated to appear in the Black Gate online fiction lineup in the not-too-distant future, so here’s a way to get a sample of what I do.

So here’s how it goes: through Tuesday night, I’m offering my weird science fiction novelette “Stolen Souls,” my weird fantasy story “She Who Runs” and my even weirder clockpunk novelette “Sleepless, Burning Life” free to all through Amazon Kindle. Just click on the story titles or the cover art above to nab them. (And if you’re interested but don’t have a Kindle, e-mail me and we’ll work something out.)

And if you’re an aspiring author curious what insights I might have on the freebie Kindle experience, I have an entry sharing my thoughts so far. But feel free to ask me questions, too.

The Guide to Glorantha Kickstarter

The Guide to Glorantha Kickstarter

There’s an amazing Kickstarter running at the moment. If you’re a fan of world-building, if you want to check out a world that’s been built over more than 40 years of group endeavour, with deep myths, histories, and cultures, one of the most compelling worlds in fantasy and certainly in fantasy roleplaying, you may want to take a look.

I’ve written previously at Black Gate about Glorantha, the fantasy world invented by Greg Stafford which lies behind the roleplaying games RuneQuest and HeroQuest. It’s a gorgeously detailed world; back in the days when Dungeons & Dragons was all about faux-medieval Tolkienery, Glorantha emerged as a lavish fantasy analog to the ancient world of Greece, Persia, and Rome. It’s a world of centaurs, heroes in bronze-crested helms, giants as big as mountains, and arcane cults which reshape the world as their worshippers offer sacrifice. Rich, complex, and sophisticated, it can offer the lightest play styles, or a rich immersive shared storytelling experience, with as much detail as anyone could want.

Glorantha owes a lot to Joseph Campbell, too. The “hero path” is an integral part of the world – how its inhabitants relate to the very real (and often mercurial) gods which surround them, and how heroes can penetrate the timeless realms of the gods and return with treasures physical and mystical. If, like me, you’re interested in the transcendent aspects of the stories we tell one another, Glorantha is a compelling world.

I’ve been gaming there since 1980; parts of it I feel I know better than my own hometown. But, over the past few years, Glorantha has entered a new golden age, as under the leadership of Jeff Richard and Rick Meints, Moon Design Publications have released multiple very high quality books providing new and deeper detail to the world. I’ve written about Sartar, Kingdom of Heroes; the Sartar Companion; and Pavis, Gateway to Adventure in previous posts – they’re all well worth a look, and highly recommended.

Over the past few years, Jeff Richard has been working on a book which looks like it will set a new standard in RPG supplements – a guide to the whole world of Glorantha itself. It’s a massive undertaking – an encyclopaedic opus detailing the places and cultures of a whole fantasy world, in exquisite detail. It’s been attempted twice before – once in the 1980s and once a decade ago – but in relatively abbreviated form. The new Guide to Glorantha is anything but abbreviated: it comes in at a whopping 400 pages of 10″ x 12″ book, detailing the geography, history, and cosmology of Glorantha, its cultures and races, as well as two continents, two subcontinents, and multiple archipelagos, plus a massive atlas filled with highly detailed and gorgeous maps – over 64 pages worth at the last count. The Guide to Glorantha is system agnostic – it doesn’t contain any games mechanics content, it’s pure setting detail, so you can use it with any game ruleset, or just read it for the pure pleasure of it. The Kickstarter has been running for a little over a week, and already has blown through its initial target. As a result, the initial scope of the project has expanded hugely, so that we’re now getting more regions detailed, more maps added, and an entire new “Companion” to the guide detailing things like the geography of the mythic regions of Glorantha, plus monographs by key industry writers. For those of us who’ve been playing quests into the realms of myth, this is nothing short of breathtaking in its ambition.

Check it out. If you’re a fan of Glorantha, or of fantasy worlds, or just want to see a beautiful example of world-building, the Guide to Glorantha may be for you. The Kickstarter runs until Tuesday, 18th December, and features a flexible pledging scale and increasingly attractive rewards.

New Treasures: Pax Britannia: Pax Omega, by Al Ewing

New Treasures: Pax Britannia: Pax Omega, by Al Ewing

pax-omega-smallI have a weakness for pulp fiction. There aren’t a lot of practitioners of true pulp fantasy today — as opposed to pulp parody, which seems to be all too common.

A notable exception is Al Ewing, whose first novel of the Pax Britannia series, El Sombra, featured stormtroopers from the Ultimate Reich, mechanized horrors terrorizing a small Mexican town, and the torture-parlors of Master Minus and his Palace Of Beautiful Thoughts. The second installment, Gods of Manhattan, introduced The Blood Spider, Doc Thunder, and the monstrous plans of the Meccha-Fuhrer, set against the backdrop of the steam-powered city of tomorrow, New York USS. The final volume of the trilogy, Pax Omega, arrived this spring and sounds like the most intriguing of the bunch.

Doc Thunder’s last stand against a deadly foe whose true identity will shock you to your core! El Sombra’s final battle against the forces of the Ultimate Reich! The Locomotive Man in a showdown with cosmic science on the prairies of the Old West! Jackson Steele defends the 25th Century against the massed armies of the Space Satan! A duel of minds in the mystery palaces of One Million AD! Blazing steam-pulp sci-fi the way you crave it! From the Big Bang to the End Of Time — eleven tales from Pax Britannia’s past, present and distant future combine into one star-spanning saga set to shake the universe to its foundations –- or destroy it!

That’s a lot of exclamation marks. But when your sentences include words like Ultimate Reich and Space Satan, I guess they look kinda naked without ’em.

I don’t have the other two volumes, and I wonder if I can start with this one. I’ll give it a try and let you know.

Pax Britannia: Pax Omega was published by Abaddon in April, 2012. It is 266 pages in trade paperback for $9.99, or $5.99 for the digital edition.

Black Gate Online Fiction: “Awakening” by Judith Berman

Black Gate Online Fiction: “Awakening” by Judith Berman

awakening3Amidst dark necromancy, haunted ruins, centuries-spanning intrigue, a secret oracle, and unquiet dead… an unlikely heroine awakens.

The nightmare began when she opened her eyes and saw the leathery face of a corpse as close to her as a lover’s. She started up with a cry, heart pounding, and found bony hands tangled in her hair, and the smell of cold decay. She tried to jump to her feet, but beneath her dead men were piled up layer on layer and she could get no purchase. Whimpering, she clawed her way toward the only door of the dim chamber.

Rubble blocked the stair. She dug at the loose stones, breaking all her nails; she pounded on them, screaming for help. She screamed until she had no more breath. No one came to let her out.

Trembling, hugging herself, she slid down to sit upon a stair. The corpses gazed back at her. Only scraps of dried flesh adhered to their faces. Their swords were broken, their armor rusted, the quilted leather of their jackets had rotted to fragments like old leaves.

The dead lay still now, but as they stared at her, she became ever more certain that she did not imagine their restlessness.

They must, she thought suddenly, have been walled up to stop them walking.

Judith Berman’s novella “Awakening” originally appeared in Black Gate 10, and was one of the most acclaimed stories we’ve ever published. It was nominated for a 2007 Nebula Award for Best Novella, and Sherwood Smith of Tangent Online wrote:

“Awakening” by Judith Berman begins with the protagonist — unnamed — waking to her lover’s long-dried and crumbled corpse next to her… She encounters then escapes her lord, a sorcerer who has been consuming the souls of the dead so he can stay alive in a twilight existence between the physical world and the gate to death… This story calls to mind fantasies of eighty and a hundred years ago, full of the crumbling remains of ancient civilizations and old rituals that evoked that fin-de-siecle sense of the world’s end… This is a terrific story, beautifully realized and intelligently written — well worth the price of the magazine all on its own.

“Awakening” is a complete 18,000-word novella of adventure fantasy offered at no cost. It is the loose sequel to “The Poison Well,” published right here last week.

Read the complete story here.

Gygax Magazine: A New Gaming Magazine from TSR Games

Gygax Magazine: A New Gaming Magazine from TSR Games

gygax-magazine3There’s been some buzz recently about Gygax Magazine, a new online tabletop gaming magazine set to launch in December.

Editor Jayson Elliot, in a post at ENWorld, revealed that the core team behind the magazine includes Ernie Gygax, Luke Gygax, Tim Kask, James Carpio, and Jim Wampler. The first issue is scheduled for December. TSR, the original publishers of Dungeons and Dragons, was purchased by Wizards of the Coast in the 1997. According to Jayson the TSR trademark was abandoned about nine years ago, and they were able to register it last year. Their first project is Gygax, a gaming magazine, “because we wanted a way to bridge the traditions of the old guard with the awesome new games that are out today.”

Here’s what Tim Kask, founding editor of The Dragon magazine, had to say on his Facebook page:

Gygax is a gaming magazine for new and old players alike. We are looking forward to the games of tomorrow and today, while preserving the traditions and history that got us where we are now.

Our articles and features cover current independent and major publisher games such as Pathfinder, Savage Worlds, The One Ring, Shadowrun, Godlike, Labyrinth Lord, Marvel Heroic Roleplaying, Warhammer 40k Roleplay, Traveller, and others, as well as classic out-of-print games with a modern following, like AD&D, Top Secret, and Gamma World.

Our features include comics by Phil Foglio (What’s New With Phil and Dixie), Jim Wampler (Marvin the Mage), and Rich Burlew (Order of the Stick). Contributors include Jim Ward, Cory Doctorow, James Carpio, Ethan Gilsdorf, Dennis Sustare, and many more. Publishing quarterly in print as well as PDF and iPad editions, we hope each issue of Gygax will be an anticipated and treasured addition to any gamer’s library.

The magazine hasn’t even launched yet and it’s already stirring controversy, with Gygax’s widow, Gail, stating publiclyGygax Magazine… does not have the support of the Gygax Family Estate.” Stay tuned for further updates as they become available.