Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part Two

Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part Two

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Gor (The Cannon Group, May 9, 1987)

A veritable cornucopia of dodgy barbarian and barbarian-adjacent movies that I have never watched before, and will probably never watch again. Enjoy Part One here.

Gor (1987) – USA/Italy

Another nail in the Cannon coffin lid, this effort to start a franchise based on the uncomfortable series of novels by John Norman spawned one sequel, and then went belly up before things could get worse.

It follows the same basic plot of the books; dull physics prof Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barbarini — dull as a dish cloth) owns a family heirloom macguffin that transports him to the barbaric planet of Gor, where he must right some wrongs and show the locals that human is best — so far, so very Barsoomy.

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An Obscure 70s Fantasy: The Vanishing Tower, by Michael Moorcock

An Obscure 70s Fantasy: The Vanishing Tower, by Michael Moorcock

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The Vanishing Tower (DAW Books, June 1977). Cover by Michael Whelan

Here’s another in my series of reviews of “mostly obscure” 1970s/1980s books — the last one was of Evangeline Walton’s The Children of Llyr. That book was published in 1971, and so was the original edition of The Vanishing Tower (first titled The Sleeping Sorceress.)

And already I can hear people asking “Obscure? Obscure?! Evangeline Walton’s Mabinogion retellings were not really obscure, and Michael Moorcock’s Elric novels are not remotely obscure!”

And I apologize — because you’re right. This novel in particular is part of one of the major sword and sorcery series of all time. Yet — as with the The Children of Llyr — it’s a book I myself didn’t read until just now, over 50 years after it first appeared.

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Forgotten Authors: Miles J. Breuer

Forgotten Authors: Miles J. Breuer

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MIles (Miloslav) J. Breuer

Miles J. Breuer was born in Chicago on January 3, 1889, but the family moved to Crete, Nebraska when he was four years old so his father could attend medical school. He attended the University of Texas and went on to medical school at Rush Medical Center. He worked as an internist, specializing in tuberculosis at Lincoln General Hospital in Nebraska. He often bylined his work with his credentials as an M.D.

In 1916, he married Julia Strejc and they had three children, Rosalie, Stanley (who died at 18 when he fell from St. Isabel Glacier), and Mildred. During World War I, he served in France and achieved the rank of first lieutenant in the Medical Corps. Upon his return to the U.S., he joined his father’s medical practice and began publishing medical articles in Czech language newspapers and a monthly medical column in a Czech-language agricultural magazine. He published the Index of Physiotherapeutic Technic in 1925, outlining physical therapy practices.

His first English language science fiction story, “The Man with the Strange Head” appeared in the January 1927 issue of Amazing Stories, however, it was previously published as “Muž se zvláštní hlavou” in a Czech language almanac published in Chicago. He also appears to have published “The Man without an Appetite” in the Czech magazine Bratrský věstník in 1916, although it didn’t see English publication until 1963. His Czech stories tended to be published under the name Miloslav J. Breuer, and he continued to publish in Czech throughout his early writing career.

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A Sword & Planet Graphic Novel: Bigfoot: Sword of the Earthman by Josh S. Henaman, Andy Taylor, and Tamra Bonvillain

A Sword & Planet Graphic Novel: Bigfoot: Sword of the Earthman by Josh S. Henaman, Andy Taylor, and Tamra Bonvillain

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Bigfoot: Sword of the Earthman Volume 1, collecting issues 1 – 6 (Action Lab Entertainment, August 2, 2016)

Dipping back into the Sword & Planet genre, here’s one of the odder items I have. Bigfoot: Sword of the Earthman, subtitled “The Galaxy’s Greatest Action-Adventure Hero.” As far as I can tell, Josh Henaman is the writer, with Andy Taylor (Penciller), Tamra Bonvillain (Colorist), and Adam Wollet (Letterer).

This is a graphic novel collecting the first six issues of the story. I bought this because it was billed as sword & planet set on Mars, and featuring Bigfoot. It mostly was, although not quite what I was hoping it might be.

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Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood: Robin Hood Begins, Kingdom of Heaven Ends

Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood: Robin Hood Begins, Kingdom of Heaven Ends

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Robin Hood (Universal Pictures, 2010)

Robin Hood (Unrated Director’s Cut) (156 minutes; 2010)

Written by Brian Helgeland. Directed by Ridley Scott.

What is it?

What it is, is a criminally underrated film.

Maybe it would’ve been more successful if they had titled it Robin Hood Begins.

Another option, though it probably wouldn’t have helped at the box office, is Kingdom of Heaven II.

Because it is both of those things, and more.

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Ten Things: Tubi Movies Edition

Ten Things: Tubi Movies Edition

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It’s been over a month since I shared a Ten Things? Heavens to Murgatroyd (any Snagglepuss fans out there?).

I talked here about how fed I up I was with all the streaming apps which I needed to watch different things. Including sports. So, except for Prime (the family orders a lot of stuff from Amazon), I cut the cord on all of them. I’m missing Daredevil, and didn’t watch a single Pittsburgh Penguins playoff game (I did listen to all of them). But it’s going fine.

PlutoTV, and RokuTV, have lots of shows and movies for free. But Tubi (also free) has really been filling the gap. Last week I wrote about the Coen Brothers’ classic, The Hudsucker Proxy. That was a Tubi viewing. I just watched the 1988 Blake Edwards Western, Sunset. Bruce Willis is cowboy actor Tom Mix, and James Garner is Wyatt Earp, in a Hollywood Western murder mystery. It was okay, but I’ll always watch Garner when I can. Tubi has TV shows too (that will be another post), including some fun cartoons, like Pinky and the Brain.

But here are ten movies you should check out for free on Tubi. Of course, there are well-known flicks like Rain Man, Legally Blonde, The Untouchables, The Graduate, Bull Durham, etc. But I wanted to talk about some that maybe you haven’t thought of in a while.

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Half A Century of Reading Tolkien Part Ten: Beren and Lúthien edited by Christopher Tolkien

Half A Century of Reading Tolkien Part Ten: Beren and Lúthien edited by Christopher Tolkien

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So it was, but it is said that in recompense Mandos gave to Beren and to Lúthien thereafter a long span of life and joy, and they wandered knowing thirst nor cold in the fair land of Beleriand, and no mortal Man thereafter spoke to Beren or his spouse.

from The Quenta Silmarillion

When I wrote about The Silmarillion last year, without much detail, I described the story of Beren and Lúthien as the great love story of Middle-earth. Inspired by Prof. Tolkien’s love for his wife, Edith, as well as the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, its narrative is integral to the events of The Lord of the Rings. Aragorn’s lineage goes straight back down the millennia to the couple, as does Elrond’s.

Christopher Tolkien, continuing the great work he undertook to edit and publish the greatest portion of his father’s work developing the myths, legends, and tales of Middle-earth, published three books brining a jeweler’s eye to the three great tales contained with The Silmarillion; The Children of  Húrin (2007), Beren and Lúthien (2017), and The Fall of Gondolin (2018). Much more than with The Children of Húrin, Beren and Lúthien digs deeply into the evolution of the story, presenting multiple versions and commentary.

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Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part One

Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part One

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Deathstalker (New World Pictures, September 2, 1983)

A veritable cornucopia of dodgy barbarian and barbarian-adjacent movies that I have never watched before, and will probably never watch again.

Deathstalker (1983) – USA/Argentina

Inspired by a recent foray into the Conan the Cimmerian Barbarian: The Complete Weird Tales Omnibus, I suddenly had a hankering for more of the same, and so here we are.

Never one to miss an opportunity to cash in on a zeitgeist, Roger Corman saw the response to the the previous year’s Schwarzenegger grunt-a-thon and fast tracked this hokey slice of sword and sorcery, roping in sometime collaborator James Sbardellati to direct Howard R. Cohen’s cut and paste script.

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Forgotten Authors: Nictzin Dyalhis

Forgotten Authors: Nictzin Dyalhis

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Adventure, October 10, 1922

Some science fiction authors like to cloak their histories in mystery, not content to keep the fiction in their writing. Lester Del Rey claimed he was born Ramon Felipe Alvarez-del Rey and that his family was killed in a car crash, although his sister confirms his birth name was Leonard Knapp and the accident only killed his first wife. Nothing F. Gwynplaine MacIntyre said about himself should be trusted. Nictzin Dyalhis is another author who appeared to create his own history.

According to his draft registration card, he was born on June 4, 1873 in Massachusetts, although he also claimed to have been born in 1880 and 1879 and variously in England in Pima, Arizona. His draft registration is also the first time the name Nictzin Dyalhis appears. It also notes that he lost an eye in his childhood.

In 1912, he married Harriet Lord, who was committed to the Warren State Hospital in the late 1920s and died there in 1959. Her death certificate shows two interesting things. First, it claims her husband’s name was Fred, which could be Dyalhis’ birth name. Second, it lists her as a widow, indicating she was never divorced. Despite this, Dyalhis remarried by 1930, to Mary Sheddy, although in the 1930 census her name is given as Netulyani Dyalhis (and later claims that her birth name was Netulyani Del Torres). Nictzin and Mary had a daughter, Mary, in 1932.

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