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Goth Chick News: Disposing of Real Vampires: A Historical Tutorial

Goth Chick News: Disposing of Real Vampires: A Historical Tutorial

A Bulgarian Vampire
A Bulgarian Vampire

Specific issues of preparedness inevitably crop up at certain times of the year.

Beginning in June, people in the coastal areas of the US begin thinking about laying in a supply of necessities in the event of a hurricane. Sometime in December, people in the Midwest do the same to get ready for the possibility of being snowed in. And near the beginning of October, it is once again time to begin considering defensive tactics against vampires and zombies; though we all know that unlike weather conditions, they are a constant and ever-present threat.

On the zombie front, the US government has us covered.  The Center for Disease Control’s Office of Public Health Preparedness and Response devotes an entire area of their website to “zombie preparedness.”  There you will find tips on how to plan for a zombie apocalypse, as well as tools for teaching zombie preparedness in the classroom. However, a careful search of the CDC site turned up only minor bits of useless vampire defense advice – generally in the context of how to cope with an infestation of bats.

Perhaps this is due to the fact that humans are already well (nay instinctively) versed on how to deal with vampires; you know, stake through the heart and all.

Turns out, you’re dead on.

In June of this year comes the news that the collective intelligence which drives us humans to go looking for the first pointy object we can lay our mitts on when faced with vampire troubles may not be learned from penny dreadfuls after all. Archaeologists in Bulgaria have unearthed two 700-year-old “vampire” skeletons, stabbed in the chest with an iron rod which was in the tomb next to the bodies.

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Why I Stopped Reading Granta

Why I Stopped Reading Granta

granta-117-smallI used to subscribe to Granta when I was in grad school. It’s a literary magazine published in the UK, originally produced by students at Cambridge University (where it offered early work by Ted Hughes, A. A. Milne, Sylvia Plath, and many others). It was relaunched as a wider journal of “New Writing” in 1979; since then it’s published work by Mario Vargas Llosa, Richard Ford, Saul Bellow, Salman Rushdie, Ian McEwan, Gabriel García Márquez, and lots more.

But while Granta showcased some terrific writing — when it wasn’t focused on an odd mix of memoir and photojournalism — too often the fiction left me cold. On their website the editorial team writes convincingly of their “belief in the power and urgency of the story, both in fiction and non-fiction, and the story’s supreme ability to describe, illuminate and make real.” But what I frequently read in Granta weren’t so much stories as brief literary fireworks: dazzling to watch, but ultimately empty. For someone looking for love in the crowded literary scene, Granta seemed a bit too smitten with beauty and a bit too scornful of personality.

So I let my subscription lapse. But I did pick up the odd issue now and then. Not because of all that beauty or anything. Just, you know, for the articles.

Granta’s changed management a few times since we hung out together in grad school. The owner of The New York Review of Books took a controlling stake in 1994; in 2005 it changed hands again. I’ve lost track of how many editors it’s had over the same period. But it still does themed issues, and not very predictable themes, either. Granta #69 was The Assassin issue, and #74, Summer 2001, was Confessions of a Middle-Aged Ecstasy Eater (“Perhaps no truth is more momentous, as none more difficult to face, than the blackest, most abject one about oneself. My son supplies me with drugs, with Ecstasy.”)

In tune with that unpredictability, the theme of last year’s Autumn issue was Horror. This was intriguing enough for me to buy a copy, just to see what happened when Granta wandered into my neighborhood. The issue has an impressive table of contents, featuring original fiction by Don DeLillo, Sarah Hall, Rajesh Parameswaran, and Stephen King, and others. Of course there’s also the usual mix of non-fiction, from Will Self, Paul Auster, and Santiago Roncagliolo, among others.

And as a perfect metaphor for this awkward meeting of literature and genre, Mark Doty’s memoir-slash-essay “Insatiable” opens with the odd assertion, from a 2003 Walt Whitman bio, that “Bram Stoker based the character of Dracula on Walt Whitman.”

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Hawkmoon Gets Some Respect With Tor Reprints

Hawkmoon Gets Some Respect With Tor Reprints

the-sword-of-the-dawn-smallIt’s good to see Michael Moorcock back in print in attractive accessible editions again. Thirty years ago the man ruled the paperback shelves with numerous titles in print, including half a dozen Elric novels, the Chronicles of Corum, the Jerry Cornelius books… and of course, Hawkmoon.

Moorcock is still in print, of course — but chiefly in expensive omnibus editions these days. You can’t ride your bike down to the corner store, spot a slender Moorcock paperback on the rack with a glorious Michael Whelan cover, shell out 95 cents, and cram that baby into your back pocket like you used to. (And if you can, listen to an old man and take that Hershey’s bar out of your pocket first. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.)

Anyway, my point is, those fat hardcover editions are great for cranky old collectors like me. But they don’t do much to introduce the man whom Michael Chabon called “The greatest writer of post-Tolkien British fantasy” to a new generation. Michael Moorcock deserves to be celebrated with permanent editions of his work, sure. But he should also be available in cheap paperbacks that teenagers can fold in half while they’re reading, mesmerized, on the back of the bus.

The era of the cheap paperback is over. But Tor did the next best thing two years ago, releasing all four Hawkmoon novels — The Jewel in the Skull, The Mad God’s Amulet, The Sword of the Dawn, and The Runestaff — in slender trade paperbacks with gorgeous new covers by Vance Kovacs. Now that all four have been remaindered (selling at Amazon for between $5.60 and $6.00 each, while supplies last), I took the opportunity to buy a complete set.

Collectively known as The History of the Runestaff, the novels follow the adventures of Dorian Hawkmoon — an aspect of Moorcock’s Eternal Champion — on a post-holocaust Earth as he travels a world of antique cities, scientific sorcery, and crystalline machines and is inexorably pulled into a war against the ruthless armies of Granbretan. Here’s the description for the first novel, The Jewel in the Skull:

Dorian Hawkmoon, the last Duke of Koln, swore to destroy the Dark Empire of Granbretan. But after his defeat and capture at the hands of the vast forces of the Empire. Hawkmoon becomes a puppet co-opted by his arch nemesis to infiltrate the last stronghold of rebellion against Granbretan, the small but powerful city of Kamarang. He’s been implanted with a black jewel, through whose power the Dark Empire can control his every decision. But in the city of Kamarang, Hawkmoon discovers the power inside him to overcome any control, and his vengeance against the Dark Empire is filled with an unrelenting fury.

The Hawkmoon novels were originally written between 1967 and 1969; the Tor reprints were published between January and December of 2010. Roughly 200 – 220 pages each, their original cover price was $14 – $15; they are currently much less. Move quickly if you want copies; they are selling fast.

Amanda Palmer’s Kickstarter Scandal (and New Album)

Amanda Palmer’s Kickstarter Scandal (and New Album)

amanda-palmer-kickstarter-smallMusician Amanda Palmer has been a favorite of fantasy fans since her days with the Dresden Dolls. Her first solo album, Who Killed Amanda Palmer? (a loose homage to “Who Killed Laura Palmer?”, the famous line from cult TV show Twin Peaks), generated a companion photo book with text by Neil Gaiman and pictures by SF photographer Kyle Cassidy. I first heard about it from Kyle when he came to Chicago to add to his “Where I Write” project, photographing SF and fantasy writers in their writing caves (and taking a pic of me in my big green chair.)

Palmer’s 2011 wedding to Gaiman cemented her status as genre royalty. But true fame had to wait until May of this year, and it arrived in the form of a legendary Kickstarter campaign. Seeking $100,000 to fund her new album and tour, Palmer raised closer to $1.2 million, winning the title Queen of Kickstarter from MTV and numerous news outlets in the process.

Palmer’s new album, Theatre of Evil, arrived a few weeks ago. But its success has been overshadowed by a growing controversy surrounding hiring opening acts for her tour. Here’s what The New Yorker said yesterday, under the headline “AMANDA PALMER’S ACCIDENTAL EXPERIMENT WITH REAL COMMUNISM”:

Amanda Palmer, the singer who raised a spectacular sum on Kickstarter to fund her new album and then neglected to pay the musicians who toured with her, is the Internet’s villain of the month… Album in hand, Palmer prepared to tour. She advertised for local horn and string players to help out at each stop along the way: “join us for a couple tunes,” as the post on her Web site had it. Even better, “basically, you get to BE the opening ACT!”

Just one thing, local musicians. There would be none of this million-plus dollars available for you. Supposedly, Palmer had spent it all on producing her album… She promised instead to “feed you beer, hug/high-five you up and down (pick your poison), give you merch, and thank you mightily.” This is a compensation package which, honestly, might be worse than nothing. Depends on the beer.

Cue furor, via the usual music, snark, and music-and-snark Web sites. Palmer has since renounced her hornsploitation scheme and will pay the band, but the outrage remains.

The story has been picked up by The New York Times (“Rockers Playing for Beer: Fair Play?”), Digital Trends (“Kickstarter queen Amanda Palmer, meet your Internet backlash”), Gawker, (“Amanda Palmer’s Million-Dollar Music Project and Kickstarter’s Accountability Problem,” accompanied by a graphic showing Palmer grabbing bags of money), and other news outlets. She’s been called out on Twitter multiple times by musicians unions, and American Federation of Musicians President Raymond M. Hair Jr. told the New York Times, “If there’s a need for the musician to be on the stage, then there ought to be compensation for it.” As The New Yorker noted, Palmer has since relented and agreed to pay the opening acts, but so far the furor shows no sign of dying down.

Vintage Treasures: Tales of Time and Space

Vintage Treasures: Tales of Time and Space

tales-of-time-and-spaceI saw this little beauty sitting on the Starfarer’s Despatch booth less than 60 seconds after entering the Worldcon Dealer’s Room. The Dealer’s Room wasn’t even open yet, but Rich and Arin were kind enough to take my five bucks anyway. Bless ’em.

I love old science fiction anthologies. I just have to have ’em. I can tell this one is old because the Copyright Date is in Roman numerals. MCMLXIX. Let’s see… that’s 19… uh.. what’s LX again?… wait… 1969! Whew. Man, that took forever. No wonder the damn Roman Empire collapsed.

Tales of Time and Space is edited by Ross R. Olney. Never heard of him. Never heard of the publisher either: Golden Press. This has kid’s book stamped all over it. 1969, huh? (Excuse me, MCMLXIX. Probably everyone spoke in Roman numerals back then. Bet that made exchanging phone numbers a bitch. “Yeah, I love vegetarian food too. Give me a ring and I’ll take you to my favorite restaurant. I’m at XIIVIIIIVIIIIVIIIIVI.”)

Likely this was something done for the school library market. Except the table of contents sure looks like a real SF anthology:

  • “Puppet Show,” Fredric Brown
  • “Birds of a Feather,” Robert Silverberg
  • “Clutch of Morpheus,” Larry Sternig
  • “The Last Command,” Keith Laumer
  • “Fog,” William Campbell Gault
  • “The Martian Crown Jewels,” Poul Anderson
  • “Of Missing Persons,” Jack Finney

Okay, I don’t know who William Campbell Gault is, but those other guys are heavy hitters. Keith Laumer’s “The Last Command” is one of my favorite Bolo tales, the one where a bunch of construction workers building a highway on a world where the last war is a distant memory awaken a dormant Bolo and it begins grinding its way to the surface, terrorizing the entire city in the process. And Poul Anderson’s “The Martian Crown Jewels” is a great slice of 50s space opera, from the April 1959 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.

Tales of Time and Space was published in MCMLXIX by Golden Press. It is 212 pages in oversized trade paperback, and the original cover price was 95 cents. The stories are illustrated with occasional line drawings by Harvey Kidder, and the groovy cover is by Tom Nachreiner.

In Defense of Red Sonja: Not the Female Conan

In Defense of Red Sonja: Not the Female Conan

red-sonja-0-cover2Red Sonja is nearing forty and, even if you don’t recognize the name, you know her. She’s the original girl in the chain mail bikini. There have been warrior women before (Jirel of Joiry) and since (Xena). But when you imagine sexist cheesecake portrayals of women in fantasy, the sort of thing modern creators try to avoid at all costs, you imagine Red Sonja, She-Devil with a Sword. And, frankly, she’s gotten a bad rap.

She’s a bit of an accidental icon, the sort of strong female character that could only be imagined by men in the midst of the Sexual Revolution.

The Shadow of the Vulture

Red Sonja was originally created by Roy Thomas (though based heavily on Robert E. Howard’s Red Sonya from “Shadow of the Vulture”) as a supporting character in the Conan the Barbarian series. The idea was to present a recurring female character who wasn’t just rescue bait for the Cimmerian, someone who could handle herself in a fight and win his respect as well as an appreciative leer. The iconic red hair was chosen simply because the only two prominent female adventurers in Howard’s original Conan stories were Belit (black hair) and Valeria (blond hair) and Thomas wanted an easy way to differentiate her from them.

Red Sonja first appeared in Conan the Barbarian 23 (February 1973) in a story also titled, “Shadow of the Vulture” (a loose adaptation transposing the setting from the 16th century Ottoman Empire to the Hyborian Age). Conan first encounters her as he races to the gates of Makkalet, a hundred raiders following behind him. As the gates open and Conan is running in, we see Red Sonja running out to meet the raiders, with sword drawn and her own mercenary army at her back. Within five panels of her first appearance, we get the classic description of Red Sonja as “a she-devil more beautiful than the flames of Hell.”

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New Treasures: Albert of Adelaide by Howard L. Anderson

New Treasures: Albert of Adelaide by Howard L. Anderson

albert-of-adelaideI’m a sucker for anthropomorphic fantasy. You know, stories that feature animals with human speech and personalities. Some of the best fantasy ever created has been in this fine tradition.

Watership Down. Carl Barks’ Uncle Scrooge. The Secret of Nimh. The Wind in the Willows. The Redwall books. The Lion King. Ratatouille. 101 Dalmatians. Joyce Maxner and William Joyce’s Nicholas Cricket.

Is there anything new in anthropomorphic fantasy? Anything that doesn’t come from Disney and Pixar, anyway? Yes there is. Exhibit A: the debut novel from Howard L. Anderson, about which Mary Doria Russell says: “If Larry McMurtry had written Wind in the Willows, he might have come up with something almost as wonderful and moving… This is a novel that defies analysis and summaries.”

Having escaped from Australia’s Adelaide Zoo, an orphaned platypus named Albert embarks on a journey through the outback in search of “Old Australia,” a rumored land of liberty, promise, and peace. What he will find there, however, away from the safe confinement of his enclosure for the first time since his earliest memories, proves to be a good deal more than he anticipated.

Alone in the outback, with an empty soft drink bottle as his sole possession, Albert stumbles upon pyromaniacal wombat Jack, and together they spend a night drinking and gambling in Ponsby Station, a rough-and-tumble mining town. Accused of burning down the local mercantile, the duo flees into menacing dingo territory and quickly go their separate ways — Albert to pursue his destiny in the wastelands, Jack to reconcile his past.

Encountering a motley assortment of characters along the way — a pair of invariably drunk bandicoots, a militia of kangaroos, hordes of the mercurial dingoes, and a former prize-fighting Tasmanian devil — our unlikely hero will discover a strength and skill for survival he never suspected he possessed.

Any reading experience featuring a Tasmanian devil, drunk bandicoots, and a “pyromaniacal wombat” gets my immediate attention. Albert of Adelaide was published in July by Twelve/Hachette Book Group. It is 223 pages for $24.99 in hardcover, or $12.99 for the digital edition.

See all of our featured New Treasures here.

Art of the Genre: Top 10 ‘Hawt’ Fantasy Artists

Art of the Genre: Top 10 ‘Hawt’ Fantasy Artists

These are my people, and I love them dearly, but when Neil Gaiman is our beauty 'ringer', we've got problems!
These are my people, and I love them dearly, but when Neil Gaiman is our beauty 'ringer', we've got problems!

In a bout of good humor, I bring to you today a topic that has been on my mind for some time and finally reached a writable level whilst viewing an image of this year’s winners of the Hugo Awards for writing.

What could have gotten you so motivated by said picture, you might ask? Well, it drove home the point that I have a theory artists are prettier than writers, and by a large margin. I mean, kudos to writers like China Mieville and Joe Abercrombie for swinging for the fences of rugged or charming beauty, but sadly two home runs can’t bring up the collective batting average of an entire team.

Now surely your hackles are up at such a broad brush [yes, pun intended!] and callously superficial statement, but remember this before you go finding a rope and a solid branch of a tree, I’m also writer!

Therefore, I attest this whole line of thought has to be like Chris Rock blasting African Americans, or Foxworthy busting Rednecks, right?

Well, I’m going with it, so just try to have some fun along the way because that is all this is really about!

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Black Gate Online Fiction: “The Duelist” by Jason E. Thummel

Black Gate Online Fiction: “The Duelist” by Jason E. Thummel

jason-e-thummelA master swordsman finds himself caught in a web of deceit and intrigue in Jason E. Thummel’s fast-paced tale of action in a violent city.

Androi Karpelov watched with detached calm the youngster’s cool and confident demeanor slowly erode, and felt a certain amount of empathy. But not much.

“Do you yield, Sir, and admit that the insult which your patron directed at my liege was incorrect and entirely without merit?” It was a formulaic question which Androi had asked times beyond count.

“Sir?” his opponent wheezed, keeping up a respectable guard despite the obvious signs of fatigue. “I fear I cannot. It is to the death.”

“Ah, then… ” Androi paused. “I suppose your last lesson will be that it is foolish indeed to undertake such a contract when you will be matched against your superior. Shall we?”

The boy nodded in acknowledgement. He took one deep and lasting breath, glanced over his right shoulder to where a young woman watched, striving to quench her great heaving sobs with a small silk kerchief, gave her a short curt bow that almost broke Androi’s heart, and then came at him.

Androi allowed him some ground, parrying and dodging with a show of far more concentration than he felt. The swordsmanship was truly uninspired and his muse had abandoned him. It was all for the best, he supposed, for it gave the lad some time to make an impression on the young woman. Perhaps she would remember him, but most likely would find herself another to whom she would attach her dreams in short order. Such always seemed to be the way.

Jason E. Thummel’s fiction has appeared in Rage of the Behemoth, Flashing Swords magazine, and Magic and Mechanica. His first novel, The Spear of Destiny, was published in 2011 and his short story collection In Savage Lands appeared earlier this year.

“The Duelist” is a complete novelette of adventure fantasy offered at no cost. You can read the complete story here.

September/October Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine now on Sale

September/October Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine now on Sale

fantasy-and-science-fiction-sept-oct-2012Andy Duncan gets the cover this issue for “Close Encounters,” a rural tale of alien abduction. Here’s what Lois Tilton says about it in her review at Locus Online:

Old Buck Nelson claims he doesn’t want to be bothered by reporters, even pretty girl reporters, sniffing around after the stories he used to tell about the alien who took him up to Mars and Venus and the dog he brought back with him. No one cares anymore, no one believes him. But now they’re making a movie and people are interested…

A really strong character, a narrative voice with strong authenticity, a strongly-realized setting. And a perfect ending to it all – RECOMMENDED.

Here’s the complete Table of Contents:

NOVELETS

  • “Close Encounters” – Andy Duncan
  • “The Sheriff”  – Chet Arthur
  • “12:03 P.M.” – Richard A. Lupoff
  • “The Goddess” – Albert E. Cowdrey
  • “Arc” – Ken Liu
  • “Troll Blood” – Peter Dickinson

SHORT STORIES

  • “Give Up” – Richard Butner
  • “A Diary from Deimos” – Michael Alexander
  • “Where the Summer Dwells” – Lynda E. Rucker
  • “Theobroma Valentine” – Rand B. Lee

POEMS

  • “Contact – Sophie M. White

The cover price is $7.50, for a generous 258 pages. Additional free content at the F&SF website includes book and film reviews by Charles de Lint, Chris Moriarty, and Kathi Maio; Paul Di Filippo’s Plumage From Pegasus column, “Call Me Ishmael”; and the “Curiosities” column by Chris De Vito. Cover artist this issue is Kent Bash. We last covered F&SF here with the July/August issue.