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Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part Three

Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part Three

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A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (Troma Entertainment, 1990)

A veritable cornucopia of dodgy barbarian and barbarian-adjacent movies that I have never watched before, and will probably never watch again. Enjoy Parts One and Two here and here.

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) – USA

I can’t help thinking that this one must have disappointed many a randy teenager when they smuggled it out of the video store, only to learn that ‘nymphoid’ doesn’t mean the same as ‘nymphomaniac,’ and were instead subjected to a good hour of aimless wandering before even a glimpse of prehistoric knockers was on the cards.

This is another quick buck-maker from the Troma crew, who surely saw a return on their meagre investment thanks to the aforementioned teen suckers, but it really doesn’t feel like a Troma flick. There’s no sign of the inventive weirdness or inappropriate humour to be found in the usual Kaufman joint; it’s all replaced by a dull story in which the last woman on Earth after the apocalypse, (Linda Corwin) has to contend with wandering gangs of bestial chads, while trying to avoid larger critters in the form of daft-looking dinosaurs.

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Thundarr the Barbarian: Demon Dogs and Lords of Light

Thundarr the Barbarian: Demon Dogs and Lords of Light

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Thundarr the Barbarian (Ruby-Spears Productions/ABC, October 4, 1980 – October 31, 1981)

Thundarr the Barbarian (21 episodes; 1980-81)

Created by Steve Gerber (Howard the Duck; The Defenders).

The look of the main characters was designed by Alex Toth. After he was unavailable to continue working on the series, Jack “King” Kirby was brought in, at the recommendation of Gerber and Mark Evanier (who would later write a biography of Kirby). Kirby designed the look of most of the villains and supporting characters.

What is it?

What is it?? Lords of Light, it’s awesome, is what it is!

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Mortal Kombat II – A Movie Review

Mortal Kombat II – A Movie Review

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Good afterevenmorn, Readers!

This past Saturday, I headed out with a few of my martial arts students, past and present, to watch the second installment of the recent Mortal Kombat adaptations. I’m not going to lie, the draw for me was the involvement of Karl Urban as Johnny Cage. Cage was never a character I played, but the retired action movie star is a fun idea for this franchise, and I will generally support anything Karl Urban does. Even when it’s bad, he’s great in it. And sometimes when it’s bad, it’s good. Ask me about my love of the 2005 film Doom one day. I never said I had great taste.

The point is, I went and saw the movie, and the short review is, I loved it (see afore mentioned note about my tastes). Let’s dive in!

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Ten Things: Tubi TV Edition

Ten Things: Tubi TV Edition

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So, last week, I talked about ten movies that you can stream for free over on Tubi. I could easily list ten or twenty more. There’s a lot of good stuff there.

I’m also watching TV shows on Tubi. Of course, a multiple season show takes a lot longer to work through, than a single movie. It’s got some cool animated shows, like Pinky and the Brain, The Looney Tunes Show, and The Pirates of Darkwater. I’ll probably do a post like this on just cartoons.

But today we’ll talk about live-action shows. Now, PlutoTV is terrific for TV shows. Entire channels dedicated to Star Trek shows, mysteries, Westerns, etc.. And I’m leaning into RokuTV (also free). But let’s look at ten shows you can catch on Tubi. Some of the biggest hits are there, but I’ll try to focus on some others.

A reminder: I talked here about how I was finally fed up with all the streaming apps I needed to watch stuff. So, except for Prime (the family orders a lot of stuff from Amazon), I cut the chord on all of them. I’m missing Daredevil, and didn’t watch a single Pittsburgh Penguins playoff game (I did listen to all of them). But it’s going fine.

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Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part Two

Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part Two

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Gor (The Cannon Group, May 9, 1987)

A veritable cornucopia of dodgy barbarian and barbarian-adjacent movies that I have never watched before, and will probably never watch again. Enjoy Part One here.

Gor (1987) – USA/Italy

Another nail in the Cannon coffin lid, this effort to start a franchise based on the uncomfortable series of novels by John Norman spawned one sequel, and then went belly up before things could get worse.

It follows the same basic plot of the books; dull physics prof Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barbarini — dull as a dish cloth) owns a family heirloom macguffin that transports him to the barbaric planet of Gor, where he must right some wrongs and show the locals that human is best — so far, so very Barsoomy.

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Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood: Robin Hood Begins, Kingdom of Heaven Ends

Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood: Robin Hood Begins, Kingdom of Heaven Ends

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Robin Hood (Universal Pictures, 2010)

Robin Hood (Unrated Director’s Cut) (156 minutes; 2010)

Written by Brian Helgeland. Directed by Ridley Scott.

What is it?

What it is, is a criminally underrated film.

Maybe it would’ve been more successful if they had titled it Robin Hood Begins.

Another option, though it probably wouldn’t have helped at the box office, is Kingdom of Heaven II.

Because it is both of those things, and more.

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Ten Things: Tubi Movies Edition

Ten Things: Tubi Movies Edition

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It’s been over a month since I shared a Ten Things? Heavens to Murgatroyd (any Snagglepuss fans out there?).

I talked here about how fed I up I was with all the streaming apps which I needed to watch different things. Including sports. So, except for Prime (the family orders a lot of stuff from Amazon), I cut the cord on all of them. I’m missing Daredevil, and didn’t watch a single Pittsburgh Penguins playoff game (I did listen to all of them). But it’s going fine.

PlutoTV, and RokuTV, have lots of shows and movies for free. But Tubi (also free) has really been filling the gap. Last week I wrote about the Coen Brothers’ classic, The Hudsucker Proxy. That was a Tubi viewing. I just watched the 1988 Blake Edwards Western, Sunset. Bruce Willis is cowboy actor Tom Mix, and James Garner is Wyatt Earp, in a Hollywood Western murder mystery. It was okay, but I’ll always watch Garner when I can. Tubi has TV shows too (that will be another post), including some fun cartoons, like Pinky and the Brain.

But here are ten movies you should check out for free on Tubi. Of course, there are well-known flicks like Rain Man, Legally Blonde, The Untouchables, The Graduate, Bull Durham, etc. But I wanted to talk about some that maybe you haven’t thought of in a while.

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Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part One

Fauxnan the Barbarian, Part One

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Deathstalker (New World Pictures, September 2, 1983)

A veritable cornucopia of dodgy barbarian and barbarian-adjacent movies that I have never watched before, and will probably never watch again.

Deathstalker (1983) – USA/Argentina

Inspired by a recent foray into the Conan the Cimmerian Barbarian: The Complete Weird Tales Omnibus, I suddenly had a hankering for more of the same, and so here we are.

Never one to miss an opportunity to cash in on a zeitgeist, Roger Corman saw the response to the the previous year’s Schwarzenegger grunt-a-thon and fast tracked this hokey slice of sword and sorcery, roping in sometime collaborator James Sbardellati to direct Howard R. Cohen’s cut and paste script.

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When is a Sidewalk Fully Dressed? – The Hudsucker Proxy

When is a Sidewalk Fully Dressed? – The Hudsucker Proxy

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The Coen Brothers are among the finest filmmakers of my lifetime. Joel and younger brother Ethan started with Blood Simple in 1984, writing, directing, and producing together for the next few decades. And they produced some of the era’s best films. Dark comedies like Raising Arizona, Barton Fink, Fargo, and Intolerable Cruelty. The Big Lebowski is a prolific meme generator. And O Brother, Where Art Thou is a masterful ‘modern’ retelling of The Odyssey.

They raised the Noir stakes from Blood Simple, making The Man Who Wasn’t There (a black-and-white film in 2001? That’s bold). And the chilling No Country for Old Men.

Miller’s Crossing – heavily influenced by Dashiell Hammett’s The Glass Key – is one of my Top Five Hardboiled films of all time,

Joel worked as an assistant film editor (back in the days when they literally cut and spliced together reels of film) for 1981’s Evil Dead. That was the first movie which Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell made (that’s a post subject some day). A friendship formed between Joel and Sam, and the ‘two camps’ would intertwine.

The Coens made a ‘fake trailer’ for Blood Simple, and Campbell – who is not in the movie – played the murder victim. The Coens’ next film was Crimewave (written with, and directed by, Raimi), and they wrote the lead for Campbell. He wasn’t remotely a star yet, and the studio wanted ‘a name’ and vetoed the choice. The brothers and Raimi created an entirely new part – Renaldo ‘The Heel’ – to get Bruce in the movie. …

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Dark Muse News: There’s something about Return to Silent Hill – It’s Mary!

Dark Muse News: There’s something about Return to Silent Hill – It’s Mary!

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The movie Return to Silent Hill (2026) is an adaptation of the psychological horror Silent Hill 2 (SH2) video game that was rebooted by Konami under Bloober Team in 2024. This ‘return’ film is directed by Christophe Gans, who championed the original 2006 film (which loosely adapted the first video game released in 1999). With the resounding success of the Bloober SH2 video game reboot, fans of the horror series had hope that the movie would pack a 1-2 punch, but it has been received poorly. Why?

Not helping the United States release was an ill-timed blizzard that stretched across the country (Wikipedia even has an entry about the storm). I suspect if that were a fog-storm (do those exist?), then ticket sales would have skyrocketed. At this point, almost every blogger and reviewer who has seen the movie has been pissed since it did not seem to represent the core elements of the game; I was in a similar camp until I dissected the film for this article. Here’s the Deal.

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