Are you in charge of a Barbarian horde? Did your family lay siege to a neighboring kingdom over the winter? Do you enjoy feasting on the thawed entrails of your enemy (remember to cook the meat well, first! Who knows where your enemy has been!)
Well, my heroic homemakers, spring will soon be in the air. The ground will thaw and so will the bodies of your enemies. Birds will sing and battle cries will echo. Grass will sprout and warrior tummies will demand feeding.
The time to plan your Garden of Victory is now! Here are some easy to follow tips and tricks to make it even easier than before, all while using existing resources.
Burn, Burn, Burn!
First, you MUST BURN THE WINTER SCARS FROM YOUR LAND! (I’m told this isn’t really a planting thing, but trust me, it’ll look cool.) Make sure your land is covered with combustible materials, like oil, dry hay or failed batches of barbarian moonshine.
TIP: Make sure you don’t set the fire too close to your home. If you didn’t destroy all neighboring tribes during the winter, add some coloring agents to keep the smoke interesting. You don’t want to start being predictable. Remember: predictable neighbors are invadable neighbors.