And we are wrapping up Cimmerian September. Which I think will be an annul thing here at Black Gate. Maybe I’ll do a broader Robert E. Howard month around his birth (January) or death (June). But it’s more Conan this week.

If you’re a regular here, you know that I post almost exclusively positive stuff. You can go anywhere on social media for negative stuff. I like to share things I like – with people who wanna comment on it sometimes. It’s cool.

A notable exception is that festering pile of garbage that was Max Landi’s Dirk Gently TV series. Sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade.

I’m gonna give some thoughts on twenty different Conan pastiches from over the years. And some aren’t good. So, not all happy stuff here. But I think a legitimate opinion is worthwhile. Even mine…

Not ranking them, but listing them in alphabetical order by author. I’ll give some info on the story in the first paragraph, and a very short review in the second. I’ve done in-depth reviews here at Black Gate. These are just light looks at a bunch of Conan stories, to put them on your radar. Hopefully, you’ll find this post useful.

de Camp, L. Sprague, and Carter, Lin – Conan the Buccaneer

I am not a fan of de Camp’s analysis and character denigration of Howard; which I think he did to elevate his own place and writings. But I do like most of his stories. I think he wrote Conan pretty well. So, I’ll set the ‘extra stuff’ aside and just consider his stories.

This is a novel, written by two good sword and sorcery authors, in which Conan is a pirate/sea raider/buccaneer. I’m in! I think this is a good read, and I’m glad the pastiches gave us more of Conan the Pirate, which is one of my favorite roles for him.

de Camp, L. Sprague, and Howard, Robert E. – The Flame Knife

I will probably do a post with my dozen favorite de Camp Conan stories. I like most of them, and it won’t be hard to come up with a list. Several will be adaptations of non-Conan stories by REH. I think that de Camp did a solid job with many of them. “The Treasure of Tranicos” and “The Blood-Stained God” could easily be included in today’s post.

El Borak rivals Conan as my favorite REH character. “Three-Bladed Doom” wasn’t published until long after Howard’s death, but it’s one of my favorites. De Camp adapted it into a Conan novella, and I like it a lot. Conan is in his kozaki phase, and ends up in a three-group conflict, with a character from “A Witch Shall Be Born.” It finishes strong.

Carpenter, Leonard – Conan the Raider

Carpenter wrote eleven of the Tor Conans, and I think he is in the second tier, below John C. Hocking and John Maddox Roberts – alongside Sean Moore. I like the second tier. Conan of the Red Brotherhood, and Conan, Scourge of the Bloody Coast – two more pirate adventures – are probably the two best.

But I really enjoy this one, which is essentially Conan the Tomb Raider, set in Stygia. It’s got a total D&D vibe, and it’s a fun read for me. I recommend this for any RPGer fan of Conan. Which I think is most of us.

Carpenter, Leonard – Conan the Renegade

This was the first of Carpenter’s eleven Conan novels. L. Sprague de Camp and Lin Carter wrote “Shadows in the Dark,” a direct sequel to “Black Colossus.” It’s a meh story.

But Carpenter continued the Khoraja saga after that with a pretty solid novel. Yasmela resurfaces, though she’s pretty annoying this time around. Carpenter would reunite Conan and Khoraja yet again in Conan the Great.

Green, Roland – Conan and the Mists of Doom

Green wrote seven Tors, and they’re pretty up and down – with too much down. I liked Conan the Relentless well enough to immediately follow up with this one.

It’s boring. It took me quite a few sessions to sit and read the whole thing. I would recommend Relentless. But if this one was your first Green, you probably wouldn’t bother with any more.

Hocking, John C. – Conan and the Emerald Lotus

This is widely considered one of the best pastiches of them all. Hocking wrote a follow-up, Conan and the Living Plague, but events kept it from being for almost thirty years.

Conan finds himself on a quest to dispose of a god-like sorcerer fueled by a lotus powder from the days of Acheron. This rivals Conan the Rogue as my favorite pastiche. Cannot be more highly recommended. And you should follow-it up with the aforementioned sequel.

Jordan, Robert – Conan the Invincible

Jordan’s six Conan novels get ragged on for being too formulaic, or like his high fantasy. But I love The Wheel of Time, and I think Jordan writes entertaining Conan.

The Invincible is the first of his Conans, and definitely where to start. There are a lot of bad Conan pastiches – many from the Tor series. Jordan’s aren’t my favorites, but they’re good, and I like them.

Milus, John – King Conan: Crown of Iron

Milius was the director and writer for Conan the Barbarian (the first Arnold movie). His was a grittier Conan. Different reasons have been cited, but Dino De Laurentis did not bring him back for the sequel, which was a more family-friendly version.

There’s a script for a third movie, written by Milius, from around 2001. Conan has a son, Kon. You can find it on the internet as a .PDF if you want. I don’t know that I’d be keen to see it as a movie, but it’s definitely of interest to Conan fans.

Moore, Sean A – Conan and the Grim Grey God

Moore was only 33 years old when he died in a car crash. He had written three Tor Conans, and I think his quality was on a par with Maddox Roberts, and Hocking. I really would have liked another half-dozen or so from him.

This one has a prologue set back in Acheronian times, and draws on material provided by REH in “The God in the Bowl.” It’s got a ‘fabled City of Brass’ vibe, and I think it’s one of the best Tor pastiches.

Oden, Scott – Conan: The Shadow of Vengeance

Oden has written good sword and sorcery, and historical fiction. I LOVED his Men of Bronze novel. Scott and I were both born in Columbus in 1967 – but he’s from that Indiana one…

This is from the Heroic Legends line, and it’s a direct sequel to Howard’s “The Devil in Iron.” Oden is the right guy to write Conan, and I think this is one of the best of the new novellas.

Offutt, Andrew – Conan and the Sorcerer

Offutt is a fantasy master, and creator of my all-time favorite thief, Hanse Shadowspawn. He wrote a trilogy of Conan pastiches for Ace.

Howard Andrew Jones and I discussed that neither of us could get past Offutt having Conan rape a woman in the first book. Whatever rationale people employ to not take issue with Conan in “Frost Giant’s Daughter,” there’s none applicable here. He rapes a woman he encounters. And that tars the entire trilogy, which would be pretty good otherwise. But to each their own.

Perry, Steve – Conan the Indomitable

Perry wrote five Conans, and as a whole, they’re terrible. I’ve read that he was cranking them out for money and didn’t care about the quality. I believe that. I reviewed two of his pastiches, here. Conan the Defiant wasn’t too bad for a sword and sorcery book, if you leave out the ‘meh’ Conan effort.

I’ll let my review of Indomitable speak for itself: So, a hermaphrodite, a nymphomaniac sorceress, a slutty desert babe, a sarcastic fool, a cyclops, a giant worm, and Conan go into a cave… Sounds like a bad joke, eh? Well, it is. Conan The Indomitable is a direct sequel to Perry’s Conan the Defiant, which as I mentioned above, isn’t too bad. This effort, however, is TERRIBLE. I have read over three-quarters of the Conan pastiches, and this one is the worst so far.

Roberts, John Maddox – Conan the Rogue

Roberts passed away in 2024, which led me to discovering his FANTASTIC SPQR mysteries set in Ancient Rome. The audiobooks are perfect, and I’ve gone through the entire thirteen-book saga three times already. I can’t get enough of them. He had been long working on the next book. Could someone not get Scott Oden and the estate together to put that out?

Conan the Rogue is an homage to Dashiell Hammett, with plenty of Red Harvest in it. I’m totally sold. This stands alongside Conan and the Emerald Lotus as my favorite Conan pastiche. I recommend it unreservedly. Especially if you’re a Hammett fan.

Roberts, John Maddox – Conan the Valorous

Roberts wrote eight Tors, and while I haven’t read all of them yet, he gets my vote for the best of the bunch (Hocking is as good, but he only had the one Tor published). He took the Conan assignment seriously, and he was a very good writer.

I wanted to do a second Roberts, because this one takes us into Cimmeria. I like how he presents Conan’s homeland, and it’s much better than Harry Turtledove’s take on it – albeit, later in Conan’s life.

Thomas, Roy – Conan the Barbarian: The Twilight of the Grim Gray God

Thomas was the driving force behind Marvel’s Conan the Barbarian comic of the seventies, helming the first 115 issues. Adapting Robert E. Howard, L. Sprague de Camp, and other writers, as well as writing original stories, he created a Conan-verse for fans. He captured the spirit of Howard within the format, and I wrote a ‘behind the creation’ post. I recommend the recent Omnibus collections for Conan fans.

Issue three adapted one of my favorite REH stories and put Conan in the center of it. I read the first 115 issues, accompanied by Thomas’ three-volume memoir, The Barbarian Life. I recommend buying the first Omnibus and the first memoir, at the least. And definitely enjoy The Grim Gray God.

Thomas, Roy – The Savage Sword of Conan: The Sleeper Beneath the Sands

Thomas’ second Conan comic was actually a magazine, with essays and features to go with the black and white tales. I think Savage Sword of Conan transcends comic books of the time and is a must read for Conan fans. It’s more faithful to Howard’s source material, though it got creative as well.

Issue 4, from 1975, is a direct sequel to “A Witch Shall Be Born.” It tells what happened to Olgerd after Conan took his band from him. I enjoyed the story, which includes a Lovecraftian horror. I think it’s a neat example of building on REH’s original stories.

Truman, Timothy – Conan: Iron Shadows in the Moon

I like a lot of the Dark Horse run of Conan comics, though the art style seemed to vary a lot. Timothy Truman is about my favorite writer for Dark Horse. And I really like how he added depth to Howard’s Conan story.

In six paragraphs, Howard tells the story of how the Iron Statues came to be, dripping with menace and descriptors. I think it’s an excellent example of his ability to convey a lot of interesting information without excess verbiage to do so. Truman uses six pages and twenty-nine panels, to do the same. It works. Here’s my essay on the topic.

Turtledove, Harry – Conan of Venarium

Turtledove is a popular alternate history, and science fiction writer. I think his alternate Civil War book, Guns of the South, is a classic.

I wrote a review of this Conan novel, here. I never pictured Conan’s home as being like a medieval village. But that’s what Turtledove gives us. I never re-read this one.

Wagner, Karl Edward – Conan: The Road of Kings

Wagner seems to have an almost demi-god status in the sword and sorcery field. I don’t really like the Kane novels, so he doesn’t do anything for me.

This is a nice Conan novel, and better than many of the Tors. But while it’s often cited as one of the best, I’ve only read it the one time. But since most sword and sorcery fans like Wagner, and his Kane books, most people probably like this book more than I do.

York, J. Steven – Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures – Anok, Heretic of Stygia

To promote the Age of Conan MMO (which I have spent many hours playing), four whole trilogies were cranked out over two years, by four different authors. The schedule was ridiculous, and the quality reflects that.

I have not read all of these because I don’t want to. They’re like cotton candy. But I like how York depicted Stygia in the first two books of his trilogy. It’s a deep look at a fascinating part of Hyboria. Among the Age of Conan books I did read, this was my favorite.

Further Reviews Coming

I haven’t been overwhelmed with the Heroic Legends offerings – Conan and otherwise. But I’ll probably review a few of the better ones. And maybe the new novels being published by Titan, when I have time to dig into them.

After completing this column, I tried to start S.M. Stirling’s Blood of the Serpent, which kicked off the Heroic Signatures/Titan line.

‘I’ll bet her sweat smells good.’

‘And he’s looking at stark death right now, however nice the package.’

That drivel is Conan’s thoughts. I quit before I finished chapter two. Stirling doesn’t know how to write Conan. He’s on a par with Roland Green, and Steve Perry. I bought this on sale, and waited two years to try and read it. Hocking’s Conan: City of the Dead was a much better follow-up release. I can’t imagine I’ll ever try Stirling again.

Prior Cimmerian September Posts
By Crom: Marvel, Roy Thomas, and The Barbarian Life 
By Crom: Roy Thomas and “Out of the Deep”
By Crom: Rogues in the House
Arthurian Elements in the Conan Canon: Part II

 

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Bob Byrne’s ‘A (Black) Gat in the Hand’ made its Black Gate debut in 2018 and has returned every summer since.

His ‘The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes’ column ran every Monday morning at Black Gate from March, 2014 through March, 2017. And he irregularly posts on Rex Stout’s gargantuan detective in ‘Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone.’ He is a member of the Praed Street Irregulars, and founded www.SolarPons.com (the only website dedicated to the ‘Sherlock Holmes of Praed Street’).

He organized Black Gate’s award-nominated ‘Discovering Robert E. Howard’ series, as well as the award-winning ‘Hither Came Conan’ series. Which is now part of THE Definitive guide to Conan. He also organized 2023’s ‘Talking Tolkien.’

He has contributed stories to The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories — Parts III, IV, V, VI, XXI, and XXXIII.

He has written introductions for Steeger Books, and appeared in several magazines, including Black Mask, Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine, The Strand Magazine, and Sherlock Magazine.

You can definitely ‘experience the Bobness’ at Jason Waltz’s ’24? in 42′ podcast.

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