This last weekend Black Gate Photog Chris Z, Mrs. Black Gate Photog and I spent an evening doing my favorite Spooky Season activity – visiting a new haunted attraction.

During our pregame dinner we regaled Mrs. BGP with stories of our thrilling BG adventures like driving five hours in a blizzard to cover the Haunted Attractions Association show, doing Fireball shots from the trunk of the car before covering Cedar Point Amusement Park’s Halloweekend, and being freaked out by meeting a low-talking Norman Bates-y guy who made lamps out of old doll heads.

It was no wonder the people at the next table with the kids asked to be moved.

One of the topics was all the truly disturbing B-movie horror films we’ve come across, specifically the ones Chris Z. tried to coerce me into writing about. All the BG staff have heard the lecture from Big Cheese John O. about how we’re family-friendly and no, you can’t cover something called Zombeavers, and what the heck were you thinking trying to post about Zombie Strippers, etc., etc.

Actually, I’m probably the only one who has heard that lecture.

Anyway, I know better than to take any topic suggestions from Chris Z. Which is why, when I came across this self-funded indie gem set to make its U.S. debut at Screamfest Horror Film Festival in Los Angeles this month, I couldn’t help but think I’d be getting an email from him about it any day. But unlike Chris Z’s suggestions, this film was going to debut at one of the most prestigious festivals for the genre. Screamfest is the largest and longest running festival of its kind in the United States. It has launched the careers of numerous filmmakers and has earned the moniker the “Sundance of Horror.” So, any film that comes through Screamfest must be legit, right?

Right?

Well, to prove any inanimate object can be the catalyst for a horror movie, here goes nothing…

The film directed by Canadian Vivieno Caldinelli, is called Scared Sh**less. It follows Don, a blue-collar plumber with a crass sense of humor, as he drags Sonny, his germophobic son, on a routine house call to help him overcome his fears. Little do they know, they’re about to face a plumber’s worst nightmare — a genetically engineered, blood-thirsty creature swimming through the pipes and killing tenants in increasingly grisly ways. With the help of the night manager, Patricia, this unlikely trio must stop the monster from escaping into the city’s water system.

Have a look, and I’ll apologize in advance…

From the trailer, and the words “self-funded” in the description, it looks like we’re in for a lot of practical special effects. The website iHorror states the creature was designed by Canada’s Steve Kostanski (Psycho Goreman, The Void), and his idea was to blend two movie monsters into one: a Graboid (Tremors) and a Xenomorph (Aliens).

Well, there might be an award in there somewhere for Kostanski at least.

Scared Sh**less debuts Saturday, October 12th at Screamfest.

Chris Z. will be so proud.