Prehistrionics, Part III

Prehistrionics, Part III

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The Jurassic Dead (Wild Eye Releasing, 2017)

We’re off on another adventure filled to the brim with disappointment. 20 films I’ve never seen before, all free to stream, all dinosaur-based.

Oh God.

The Jurassic Dead (2017) Tubi

Just how bad is the CG? Rubbish.

Sexy scientist? Nope.

Mumbo jumbo? Reanimation, dinosaurs, zombies, asteroids.

Just in case you thought I might try to start the year on a high note, might I present this tripe. The premise is simple: a Herbert West type (complete with glowing green reanimating fluid and dead cat) loses his job and decides to destroy the world. Somehow he has a T-Rex, which he zombifies, and then he turns into Immortan Joe and sets off an EMP just as asteroids wipe out some cities. A crack, sorry crap, team of commandos based on 80s action figures must team up with a group of hugely unlikeable civilians to survive.

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Howard Andrew Jones, July 19, 1968 – January 16, 2025

Howard Andrew Jones, July 19, 1968 – January 16, 2025

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John O’Neill and Howard Andrew Jones at the World Science Fiction Convention, Washington DC, December 19, 2021

Howard Andrew Jones is dead.

It’s hard to write those words. Howard has been a huge part of my personal and professional life since 2002, when I opened a submission to Black Gate magazine and found a long, rambling, and extremely enthusiastic cover letter from him, expressing his delight at finding a quality magazine devoted to heroic fantasy. The letter ended with “I want in, bad,” and was attached to a terrific tale featuring two adventurers named Dabir and Asim.

We eventually published three Dabir and Asim tales in Black Gate, and within a few years Howard’s editorial contributions had become so essential to the magazine that we named him our first Managing Editor. He ran our non-fiction department, single-handedly recruiting and managing over a dozen contributors to fill some 80 pages every issue with thoughtful essays, book reviews, gaming coverage, and much more.

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Goth Chick News: Hitting the Show Circuit Hard in 2025

Goth Chick News: Hitting the Show Circuit Hard in 2025

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This is why BLACK GATE gives out press passes

And so this happened last week…

John O (the big cheese): People probably imagined you lot (Photog Chris Z and I presumably) are just hunkered down there in the subterranean offices of Black Gate sequestered with a blender, several bottles of adult beverages and the Roku horror channels.
Me: So…?
John O: So – that’s not the image we want to portray here at Black Gate.
Me: We have an image?
John O: OF COURSE WE HAVE AN IMAGE! Why can’t you be more like Bob Byrne?
Me: Bob? Oh… you mean Sherlock. Right. Wait, what was that first thing again?
John O: [insert unpublishable adult language] Would you please just go be visible somewhere? Be a reporter – get out in the field and report. That’s what Bob does. He reports… on detectives… for Black Gate.
Me: The ice machine is broken again.
John O: ARG! [insert more adult language and stomping up the stairs]

What John O doesn’t know but what — and I’m just guessing here — he wants to know, is the following.

About the time “the season” has officially concluded for Goth Chick News (and the season runs from March through November), we have a short holiday break before plunging headfirst into a new annual show circuit: hell bent on bringing you the warmest, moistest, gooiest news from the underside of pop culture.

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The Masters of Narrative Drive

The Masters of Narrative Drive

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The Outlaw of Torn and The Mad King by Edgar Rice Burroughs (Ace Books, January 1973 and February 1979). Covers by Frank Frazetta and Boris Vallejo

An author friend of 70+ books told me that a novel is just “one damned thing after another.” This is a layman’s way of saying that a book needs “narrative drive.” Narrative drive keeps readers turning the pages. It exerts a pull that drags the reader along. Edgar Rice Burroughs was the master of narrative drive. Things are happening on every page of his books that keep you wanting to know more.

There are two primary kinds of “wanting to know more.” One is, more information about the story’s plot. This is based on intellectual curiosity, and mystery stories illustrate this most clearly. Who committed the murder? Why? How? Etc. This is the primary type of drive that good nonfiction has.

The second kind of “wanting to know more” is based on emotion and character. What is going to happen to a particular character or characters the reader is attached to? The strongest narrative drive combines these.

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The Dreams in Gary’s Basement: Gary Gygax and the Creation of Dungeons & Dragons

The Dreams in Gary’s Basement: Gary Gygax and the Creation of Dungeons & Dragons

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The Dreams in Gary’s Basement, Blu Ray version (rpghistory.net, 2023)

On the eve of Gary’s Gygax’s birthday, July 26, 2019, I was in sunny California getting ready to be interviewed by the Dorks of Yore for their documentary, The Dreams in Gary’s Basement: Gary Gygax and the Creation of Dungeons & Dragons.

The interview touched on my experiences working with Gary from 2005–2008, a time that I will always cherish. Gary was so generous with me — a friend and a mentor who not only showed me the ropes, but also put trust in me. It was such an honor and a privilege to get to work with one of my childhood idols.

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A Locked Tomb Mystery in Space: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

A Locked Tomb Mystery in Space: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

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Gideon the Ninth (Tor Books, September 10, 2019). Cover by Tommy Arnold

The back cover of the hardcover edition of Gideon the Ninth features this assessment from writer Warren Ellis: “The author is clearly insane.”

Three things made me shunt Gideon the Ninth to the front of my TBR stack. First, both my older son and his girlfriend read it, and, once finished, they promptly named their cat Harrow after one of the two main characters. Second, the cover art jumped out like an All Hallows spotlight. Third, that Ellis quote grabbed me by the frontal lobes. A novel featuring skeletons and sword-wielding necromancers written by a writer five cans short of a six-pack? Sign me up, buttercup.

Finally, in the interests of truth-telling or perhaps over-sharing, I must add that a fourth element convinced me to delve into Gideon the Ninth, and that was when I spotted a copy on the shelves at Chaucer’s Books in California, and cracked the cover to explore the opening paragraph. It reads as follows:

In the myriadic year of our Lord –– the ten thousandth year of the King Undying, the kindly Prince of Death! –– Gideon Nav packed her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and she escaped from the House of the Ninth.

I was hooked. There’s nothing like a practical protagonist. Sword and shoes, check. Dirty magazines? Clearly a must. Next stop, adventure!

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The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes: Poirot on the Radio

The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes: Poirot on the Radio

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I enjoy radio plays, and frequently listen to them on my phone while I drive, work, or drift off to sleep. I only recently noticed Audible’s sleep timer feature, which is certainly useful for the latter.

This includes The New Adventures of Mike Hammer, Nero Wolfe (on the CBC), Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, Clive Merrison and John Stanley as Sherlock Holmes, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, The Caine Mutiny Court Martial, Mistletoe Murders: And Hercule Poirot.

I enjoy audiobooks and listen to them all year long. They let me get to books I wouldn’t have time to sit down and read. And lets me re-visit favorites, easily.

But I quite like listening to a radio play. I’m fortunate that there are a couple dozen good Poirot ones. And John Moffatt’s are in my rotation all year long.

Of course, I wrote about David Suchet’s masterful performance on British TV. It was Suchet’s Poirot, and Maury Chaykin’s Nero Wolfe, which led me to read the stories they were based on. I cannot possibly imagine a better Poirot, ever.

I have gone in-depth on radio Poriot, here and here: I’ll talk about them below. But first, a bit of a surprisingly good radio Poirot.

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You Will Know—Singularity! Singularity Sky by Charles Stross

You Will Know—Singularity! Singularity Sky by Charles Stross

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Singularity Sky UK edition (Orbit, 2005). Cover by Lee Gibbons

There’s a backstory to my reviewing Singularity Sky. Its 2003 publication date made it chronologically eligible for the 2004 Prometheus Award for Best Novel. But it was Stross’s first book publication, and none of the Libertarian Futurist Society’s members happened to read it until that year’s finalists had already been chosen.

However, there was a campaign to write it in, and in fact it received a substantial number of votes, though not quite enough to win; had it been nominated, it might well have won. Now, much later, it’s eligible for the Hall of Fame Award, which can go to works at least twenty years old — and it’s been nominated for that award. As the chair of the committee that chooses Hall of Fame finalists, I’ve just finished rereading it.

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Prehistrionics, Part II

Prehistrionics, Part II

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Planet Raptor (Syfy/Apollo Media, 2007)

We’re off on another adventure filled to the brim with disappointment. 20 films I’ve never seen before, all free to stream, all dinosaur-based.

Oh god.

Planet Raptor (2007) Tubi

Just how bad is the CG? Horrendous.

Sexy scientist? Yep.

Mumbo jumbo? Alien termite Ren fair raptors.

I got tricked by seeing a couple of names I recognized (Steven Bauer, Ted Raimi, Vanessa Angel) and ended up hate-watching this exercise in dull stupidity. A sequel to the possibly worse Raptor Island, this one pits a platoon of inept space marines against a medieval planet full of dinosaurs, lovingly rendered using PS2 graphics.

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Action, Intrigue, and Glorious Battles: William R. Forstchen’s The Lost Regiment

Action, Intrigue, and Glorious Battles: William R. Forstchen’s The Lost Regiment

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The Lost Regiment, by William R. Forstchen (Roc Books, 1990-99). Covers by Sanjulian

William R. Forstchen was born on October 11th, 1950, eight years and three days before my birthday. He earned a Ph.D. in history, specializing in the American Civil War, and teaches at Montreat College in North Carolina. He’s one of my favorite authors. He isn’t quite Sword & Planet but has a series that is adjacent with lots of S&P elements. It’s called The Lost Regiment and ran to 8 books. He later wrote a 9th book that took place 20 years after the end of the original series, but has not written any more.

All were published by Roc Science Fiction. Sanjulian is credited with the covers for books 6, 7, and 8, and if he did those I’m pretty sure he did all the previous ones as well, which clearly have the same style. However, book 9’s cover is credited to Edwin Herder. The Sanjulian covers are great but are quite small on the books and should have been larger.

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