If you’ve ever been to camp, driven to some deserted location with a local legend attached to it, or offered to walk through first in a haunted house line up, then you’ve most definitely done it.
At some point in your life, you’ve gotten perverse pleasure from scaring the life out of another human being.
Admittedly, I think I’ve lost a few friends over it in my case. This is due to my complete lack of empathy with the victim ,which manifests in my laughing so hard I nearly have a seizure.
Totally unfair and coming in around the fourth-grade level of humor to be sure, but I just can’t help myself.
And neither can you – admit it.
My greatest joy this time of year comes from positioning myself in the standard group of six to walk through some haunted attraction, with at least two random pre-teen girls.
More is better.
Last year, I nearly wasn’t able to complete Statesville Haunted Prison when I filed through behind a group of four girls around the age of 15. When we got to the “insane carnival” rooms, the razor-fanged clowns virtually descended on this group; their large bloodied noses clearly smelling an entire evening’s worth of entertainment. The girls promptly went fetal on the floor, shrieking at around 10 decibels and blocking up the entire line behind them for a good five minutes.
I was close to needing an ambulance and a dry pair of knickers (not in that order).
I still chuckle just thinking about it — it’s not nice but it is darn funny.
So because being funny and a little bit snarky is what we at Black Gate aspire to every day, here is a whole bunch of photos of actual attendees of Nightmares Fear Factory on the cheesy, Canadian side of Niagara Falls. The attraction hides a camera, then snaps photos at what is apparently a very critical point in the experience. They get away with blasting the results all over the net since when you buy a ticket, you’re agreeing to Fear Factory using your image for their evil purposes.
Who knew Canadians had a sense of humor?
Feel free to go all Mystery Science Theater on these, then post your sophomoric comments here where they will always be welcome or email them to me for my personal enjoyment at firstname.lastname@example.org.