Yes, a new watch-a-thon, featuring me, a hopeless procrastinator, plumbing the depths of cinematic misery for your entertainment.

This time around, I will be watching Lovecraftian and Lovecraftian-tangential films, and as usual they must be films I’ve never seen before (which makes the task trickier and bound for disaster).

If you don’t know anything about Lovecraft’s writings, cosmic horror, the Mythos, or Cthulhu, that’s great — keep it that way. Onwards!

H.P. Lovecraft’s The Old Ones (2024) – Tubi

Three years ago, I watched H.P. Lovecraft’s The Deep Ones (and wasn’t overly impressed), and here is Chad Ferrin’s follow-up to his own film. Apparently he has three planned, so bear that in mind.

This one continues the story of Russel Marsh (Robert Miano — excellent as usual), a salty sea captain who was possessed over a hundred years ago by ‘unspeakable horrors’, and who is now out for revenge. His plan is to go back in time using a ‘resonator’ and stop the Esoteric Order of Dagon from doing ghastly, fishy things. An added bonus would be reuniting with his wife, who likes to appear to him in nudie dream sequences.

In order to carry out his quest, Marsh must team up with a young man, Gideon Gordon, who has just witnessed his dad being killed by an Innsmouth resident while on a fishing trip. Their adventure takes them all over L.A., all the while being pursued by a gang of cultists led by a security guard called Randolph Carter, who has been possessed by Finlay, an Old One.

The more astute among you may recognize many of the character names, and Ferrin throws in many more — Ambrose Zadok (Kelli Maroney, buried under 5 lbs of rubber), Sheriff Legrasse, and Dr. Tillinghast. They even hook up with Nyarlathotep (who looks like he’s wearing his mom’s curtains).

As you can see, Ferrin has thrown every reference he can find at the film to see if any of it sticks, but sadly it all just amounts to hollow name-dropping. I will say though that everyone is very earnest in this production, spouting great swathes of book passages as dialogue with straight faces, and I found this quite endearing.

Also, the practical monster and gore effects are a heap of fun and, dare I say it, I think this might end up being one of the better offerings in this new watch-a-thon (you should see my list — ye gods).

Buckle up.

The King in Yellow (2022) and Beyond The Dunwich Horror (Scorpio Film Releasing, 2008)

The King in Yellow (2022) – Tubi

My quest continues with one of the few Lovecraft-connected offerings, although the story collection by Robert W. Chambers has certainly become part of the cosmic horror pantheon.

This production incorporates four of the tales (“The Repairer of Reputations,” “The Mask,” “In The Court of The Dragon,” and “The Yellow Sign”) to varying degrees of success, and even though I wasn’t particularly enamored of the finished product, Noah Bunyan’s adaptation had some great ideas in it. Unfortunately, his directing skills left a lot to be desired. Visually, the film is a disappointment; poorly framed, dull blocking, out of focus in some cases. I get that its a super low budget affair, but it costs nothing to do something interesting with the camera positions and editing.

It ultimately became a tedious effort to finish it, which is a shame as there are the germs of something interesting going on.

Not the adaptation the followers of the Yellow King have been waiting for.

Beyond The Dunwich Horror (2008) – Tubi

Another super-low-budget effort ($75k), but at least this time the director, Richard Griffin, knows how to handle a camera, or his DP does, as there are some excellent shot choices in here to make the film look flashier than it is.

That said, that’s the best I can say for this one. The story follows Kenny Crawford, newly in Maine and looking for his brother, Andrew, who washed up two weeks ago and was promptly slammed in the local asylum. As Kenny uncovers a cosmic conspiracy with new reporter pal, Marsha Calloway, his reality starts to crumble and some Whateley family mayhem ensues.

Being a contemporary tale, the ‘descendants’ of the Whateleys are into some freaky sexy stuff, and it’s down to Upton Armitage to put a stop to their debauchery. There are some vaguely sinister moments, and lots of eyeball trauma, but ultimately the film is let down by a dodgy script and some flaccid performances.

I’m only three films in, and already questioning my own sanity.

Annihilation (Paramount Pictures, February 23, 2018) and Cthulhu (Regent Releasing, June 14, 2007)

Annihilation (2018) – Prime

One of the few upsides of doing these film marathons is I get to right any past wrongs, in particular finally watching films that I should have already watched. I do love a bit of Alex Garland, so why I never sat down and watched Annihilation is beyond me, but here we are.

“But wait,” I hear you hoarsely whisper through abject apathy, “this isn’t a ‘Mythos’ film.”

“Shush, now.” I gently murmur, my freshly-scrubbed forefinger pressed lightly upon your lips, “Yes it is.”

Adapted from Jeff VanderMeer’s stellar 2014 novel of the same name, Annihilation owes plenty to HPL’s cosmic horror ideas; that of formless entities, unavoidable change, and ‘colors’ out of space.

The story follows Lena (Natalie Portman), recently widowed (she thought), a biologist who ends up as part of a team of scientists tasked with investigating a mysterious, multi-hued mass that is slowly enveloping the Florida coast. All previous teams have been lost to the ‘Shimmer’, all but one person, and it is her group’s task to reach the center of the phenomenon and gather information to stop it. Much cellular-mutation intrigue ensues.

It’s a great film, beautifully shot, wonderfully acted, and the deeper theme of division in all aspects of life is brilliant.

So nice to have an entry on this list I can rave about.

Cthulhu (2007) – Plex

Let’s talk about the malevolent, octopus-headed being in the room — if you come to this movie hoping to see him, sorry pal, you’re better off watching Underwater again.

However, missing titular beastie aside, this is a decent attempt at a slice of Lovecraftian ick, and I didn’t hate it (which is a positive).

Drawing heavily from The Shadow over Innsmouth, this story takes place in Rivermouth, on the coast of the Pacific Northwest. Russell Marsh, estranged from his Rivermouth family due to being gay, has returned for the funeral of his mother. He is very much the outsider here, being one of the few to branch out from the town, but he soon hooks up with old friends and other familiar faces. He has no desire to face his father, who is the head of the Esoteric Order of Dagon, but of course they are soon butting heads. A chance meeting with the local madman, Zadok, sets Russ off on a journey of discovery that we all know isn’t going to end well, as he finally has to confront his true purpose.

Cthulhu is well shot and acted (for the most part), and I really liked director Dan Gildark’s choice of metaphor of a person returning to the horrors of small-town life (especially while gay, which HPL would have LOVED). For me, it falls apart in the final act and leaves too many unwoven threads, but it’s a decent effort, and so we march bravely onward.

Toxica (Tin Cowboys Productions, 2022) and Why Hans
Wagner Hates the Starry Sky (Radikal & Arrogant, 2013)

Toxica (2022) – Tubi

I got suckered in by multiple reviews and a plot synopsis that made claims of ‘Lovecraftian terrors’, and I had to watch the whole thing just in case something Mythos-related did indeed pop up.

No it didn’t.

There are some elements that could be vaguely related to HPL’s writings; a 1918 Borneo expedition, transmutation, the quest for immortality, but nothing substantial. Perhaps a sprinkling of “The Alchemist,” or “The Case of Charles Dexter Ward,” but that’s really pushing it.

As it stands, the story involves an ex-stunt woman called Augusta who had to retire due to injury and now works for a shady organization collecting artifacts. One such job ends up with her infected by a plant toxin that threatens to turn her fungal, and she must get to the bottom of the mystery while fending off various ne-er-do-wells who want the flower’s secrets for themselves.

It’s set in an unnamed city (London, going by the skyline) and features mostly decent British actors. The directing by Rona Walter is OK, but I really disliked the lack of establishing shots in each scene, a real lack of geographical sense. The whole affair is a bit of a slow burn, but I appreciate what a problem the pandemic was for the production, and they did their best with what they could do.

At the end of the day though, this one hangs in the watch-a-thon by the thinnest of threads.

Why Hans Wagner Hates the Starry Sky (2013) – Tubi

Once again I was suckered in by a poster and a misleading synopsis (it won’t happen again). As you might expect, this features not a single beastie, tentacled or otherwise, and is in fact a rom-com for the first hour of its 80 min runtime.

It is the first film for director Lars Henriks, fresh out of school and employing his fellow students to put this one together, and he makes the best of a zero budget by filming on community stages and using cardboard cutouts for scenery. Despite the fact that its ultimately a dissatisfactory experience if you are looking for a full-on Mythos romp, it’s actually a rather good idea.

As the story unfolds (narrated to us in a soothing voice that immediately makes you think you are listening to a fairytale) we meet Hans Wagner, a young man who looks uncannily like a young HPL, who is crippled with anxiety. He has been prescribed pills, which he washes down with cheap scotch, but when he accidentally runs out of meds, he must make the terrifying journey to the store.

There he encounters a pretty cashier, whom he falls in love with, and turns into a gibbering wreck. His attempt to pursue this young woman leads him to meet two new people, and just when it seems he can get by without the pills, his world falls apart due to an encounter with a fairy. Some Lovecraftian verbiage is tossed around during the ensuing chaos, but it’s far from being part of the pantheon. It’s odd, so I sort of recommend it, but don’t think it’s going to get all Cthulhu-ish.

Previous Murky Movie surveys from Neil Baker include:

You Can’t Handle the Tooth
Tubi Dive
What Possessed You?
Fan of the Cave Bear
There, Wolves
What a Croc
Prehistrionics
Jumping the Shark
Alien Overlords
Biggus Footus
I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie
The Weird, Weird West
Warrior Women Watch-a-thon

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Neil Baker’s last article for us was Part III of You Can’t Handle the Tooth. Neil spends his days watching dodgy movies, most of them terrible, in the hope that you might be inspired to watch them too. He is often asked why he doesn’t watch ‘proper’ films, and he honestly doesn’t have a good answer. He is an author, illustrator, teacher, and sculptor of turtle exhibits. (AprilMoonBooks.com).