Black Gate

It’s that time again. I can sense casual Black Gate users getting complacent, so here is a new movie watch-a-thon project. This time, based on my recent experience with The Substance, I’m going to be unearthing flicks that deal with transformation; Jekyll and Hyde riffs, body horror, self-made monsters. Bear with me as it’s often difficult to find films I haven’t seen before, but with perseverance and nightly prayer I’m sure I can get to the finish line in a timely manner. With that said…

Metamorphosis (1990) – Tubi

Taking inspiration from the success of The Fly from four years prior, Italian director Luigi Montefiori (under the pseudonym G.L. Eastman) banged out this strange little film about a single-minded scientist and his doomed experimentation. There are plenty of similarities to Cronenberg’s classic: an ill-fated love affair, pseudoscience, baboons, slow body decay, and the dispatching of interfering busy-bodies, but its a bit of a slog due to some underwhelming performances, weird shot choices, and ropey effects.

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Pacific Rim (2013)

It goes without saying that I have to include Del Toro’s love-letter to kaiju flicks on this list, and this one, being the first in a patchy franchise, ticks all the boxes.

Giant, horrible monsters? Check.

Colossal, clunky robots (loosely speaking)? Check

Citywide destruction? Check.

Ron Perlman? Check and check.

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Grizzly (Columbia Pictures, May 16, 1976) and The White Buffalo (United Artists, May 6, 19779)

Grizzly (1976)

Following the 1975 movie phenomenon about a hungry fish, a bunch of large animal flicks reared their heads in an effort to take a bite out of the box office.

One of them was Grizzly, a tale as old as time about an 18ft prehistoric bear that develops a taste for campers and rangers. One man tries to warn everyone, is shot down by the authorities, and recruits some specialists to help hunt it down. Yes, Grizzy was indeed compared unfavorably to Jaws, and rightly so, but I still love it.

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In a slight deviation from our usual fare, for this list I am simply highlighting my favorite monster movies. So, no first time watches, and I’m not sure how many of these are still free to stream (but I suspect most of them if you are good at exploring). Also there are 21 films in this list, in no particular order, because I’m feeling saucy.

Let’s go!

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Let’s get the histrionics out of the way. Yes, I’m choosing this over the 1933 original, but that’s not to say that I don’t love the Merian C. Cooper/Ernest B. Schoedsack/Willis O’Brien classic. For nostalgic reasons, that film will always hold a special place, but for sheer entertainment value, I’m choosing Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ love letter to the monster mashes of old.

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The Curse (Trans World Entertainment, September 11, 1987) and In the Tall Grass (Netflix, October 4, 2019)

Yes, a new watch-a-thon, featuring me, a hopeless procrastinator, plumbing the depths of cinematic misery for your entertainment.

This time around, I will be watching Lovecraftian and Lovecraftian-adjacent films, and as usual they must be films I’ve never seen before (which makes the task trickier and bound for disaster).

If you don’t know anything about Lovecraft’s writings, cosmic horror, the Mythos, or Cthulhu, panic not. Onwards!

The Curse (AKA The Farm) (1987) – Tubi

Directed by David Keith (no, the other one), The Curse is a slightly faithful adaptation of ‘The Color Out of Space,’ just without any, um, colors.

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Yes, a new watch-a-thon, featuring me, a hopeless procrastinator, plumbing the depths of cinematic misery for your entertainment.

This time around, I will be watching Lovecraftian and Lovecraftian-tangential films, and as usual they must be films I’ve never seen before (which makes the task trickier and bound for disaster).

If you don’t know anything about Lovecraft’s writings, cosmic horror, the Mythos, or Cthulhu, that’s great — keep it that way. Onwards!

The Haunted Palace (1963) – Tubi

We kick off Part II with a stone-cold classic from AIP that I somehow had never seen before. A shock, I know.

Billed as Edgar Allen Poe’s The Haunted Palace, this film is, in reality, a retelling of Lovecraft’s ‘The Case of Charles Dexter Ward,” with just a fraction of Poe’s original poem used to frame the film as opening and closing quotes.

Fans of the story will recognize many familiar elements; Vincent Price plays Charles Ward, who has brought his wife to Arkham to claim an old palace he has inherited from his long-gone descendant, Joseph Curwen. Curwen (who was burned alive 110 years ago) was an infamous warlock who terrorised the town until his fiery comeuppance. He cursed the lynch mob as he sizzled, and true to his word is resurrected through an old portrait that he uses to possess the hapless Ward. Ward/Cullen is aided by his two fellow warlocks, Jabez and Simon, and proceeds to take vengeance on the descendants of his killers. Shenanigans ensue.

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Yes, a new watch-a-thon, featuring me, a hopeless procrastinator, plumbing the depths of cinematic misery for your entertainment.

This time around, I will be watching Lovecraftian and Lovecraftian-tangential films, and as usual they must be films I’ve never seen before (which makes the task trickier and bound for disaster).

If you don’t know anything about Lovecraft’s writings, cosmic horror, the Mythos, or Cthulhu, that’s great — keep it that way. Onwards!

H.P. Lovecraft’s The Old Ones (2024) – Tubi

Three years ago, I watched H.P. Lovecraft’s The Deep Ones (and wasn’t overly impressed), and here is Chad Ferrin’s follow-up to his own film. Apparently he has three planned, so bear that in mind.

This one continues the story of Russel Marsh (Robert Miano — excellent as usual), a salty sea captain who was possessed over a hundred years ago by ‘unspeakable horrors’, and who is now out for revenge. His plan is to go back in time using a ‘resonator’ and stop the Esoteric Order of Dagon from doing ghastly, fishy things. An added bonus would be reuniting with his wife, who likes to appear to him in nudie dream sequences.

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Boys from County Hell (Six Mile High Productions, April 2020)
and Twilight (Summit Entertainment, November 21, 2008)

20 vampire films, all first time watches for me.

Come on — sink ’em in.

Boys from County Hell (2020) – Prime/Shudder

Ah, British and British-adjacent horror comedies. When they’re done right, there’s nothing better, and this one is done right.

I had a blast with this one, I’d put it right up there with the likes of Dog Soldiers, Grabbers, Shaun of the Dead, Doghouse, Severance, and The Cottage. They all have something in common; a close-knit group, localized setting, extreme gore, and flowery language.

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20 vampire films, all first time watches for me.

Come on — sink ’em in.

Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters (AKA The Era of Vampires) (2002) – Prime

The original title is Era of Vampires, but for the North American release we end up with a spectacular bit of bait and switch trickery. Anyone who knows Tsui Hark’s work would be excited, after all, he gave us Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain and the Once Upon a Time in China series — but we have been fooled. He produced this film, and wrote the story, but the director is Wellson Chin, better known for romantic comedies. For those of you who don’t know what this means, imagine going to see Steven Spielberg’s Jaws: The Legend Returns, and it’s directed by McG.

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20 vampire films, all first time watches for me.

Come on — sink ’em in.

Scream, Blacula, Scream (1973) – Tubi

I’ve seen Blacula (1970) plenty of times, but somehow never got around to watching the sequel, and thank the stars I did, because it’s excellent. I think I like it even more than the original.

If you are new to this nonsense, the original film told the tale of an African prince who is bitten by Dracula and becomes a bloodsucking fiend on the streets of L.A., tapping all jive turkeys he comes across. It’s obviously a product of the Blaxploitation era, but its dodgy premise is saved by the presence of William Marshall. For my money, Marshall can stand toe-to-toe with Christopher Lee as one of my favorite depictions of the count (so to speak). Like Lee, he brings much gravitas, animalistic savagery, and raw sex appeal to the role, along with one of the best voices in the business.

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