Read Part 1 here.

#6 – The Force Awakens (2015)

A great way to kickstart the franchise after a dozen years, even if it is a retread of A New Hope. There’s a lot to love in this film; I think it features some of Williams’ best work with recurring leitmotifs that instantly feel like they’ve been part of the entire saga, I love the new principal characters, the action set-pieces are thrilling and tick all my visual/sound design boxes, I really like all the Jakku scenes, especially Rey’s introduction, I can’t get enough of the X-wing attack outside Maz Kanata’s castle — the single tracking shot of Poe Dameron handing the New Order their arses in the air sends shivers up my spine, the respect shown to the Falcon, despite an ugly radar dish, and the unsubtle nostalgia threads woven throughout.

There’s not much on show that I don’t enjoy in this one; perhaps the superfluous scene with the betentacled beasties onboard Han’s hideous new ship, or the petulant Ren stuff, but I mostly get on fine with it all. One personal sticking point for me though is the inclusion of Simon Pegg as Unkar Plutt (he of the measly muffin portions). I used to be a huge fan of his, firstly in Spaced, and then in Edgar Wright’s Cornetto Trilogy, but his ongoing vocal hatred for the prequels and the ‘death’ of Star Wars used to get on my nerves.

Imagine my surprise then when he turned up under layers of blubbery silicone (and later voiced Dengar in The Clone Wars). I’m being petty, and a job’s a job, but this really annoys me for some unfathomable reason. Ah well.

8/10

#5 – Solo (2018)

Ron Howard understood the assignment. Following a behind-the-scenes kerfuffle between Phil Lord, Chris Miller, and Lucasfilm following the directing pair’s refusal to stay on script (wanting to turn Solo into more of a comedy), Howard was drafted in two days later to get the smuggler prequel story back on track.

I like Ron Howard, even though I haven’t watched everything he has made, but he is a solid director, steeped in the juices of George Lucas, and a great balancer of depth and whimsy. He took Larry Kasdan’s script, chose not to stamp his own signature upon it, and delivered a delightful romp.

If my shaky criteria for this list is based on the fun-factor, then this film heartily deserves its top-five position as it is sheer flippin’ fun from start to finish. Apparently, a great many nerds really didn’t like the retroactive back story of our favourite spice-dumper, and I would concur that a few moments were unnecessary (especially the way he gets his name), but everything else, from meeting Chewie, to receiving his blaster, to winning the Falcon, was a lot of fun to watch as the pieces slotted into place.

The expansion of the crime syndicate lore, and development of the heroic cynicism we’ve grown to love are smashing additions to a set piece-heavy film that is happy to blow things up with wild abandon, and I do enjoy a robot rebellion. The added bonus of a lack of force-users (minus the tacked-on scene at the end) makes the film even more enduring for me, but the icing on the cake is the reprise of the Asteroid Theme during the thrilling Kessel Run scene. If I wasn’t loving the film at that point, I certainly was afterwards. Huge fun.

9/10

#4 – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

The best part of the prequels, and a suitably Wagnerian climax to the trilogy, RotS won me over with its bombastic desire to make me ‘feel something dammit’, and whether it concerns a young person’s manipulation and downfall, doomed love and subsequent death, or the tragedy of lost brotherhood, the film certainly wrung a couple of drops out of my crusty old peepers.

However, it’s not all operatic doom and gloom, for propping up these heavy themes is some of the best action sequences of the entire saga. I love that George kicks off with a 25 minute full-on ding-dong as Anakin and Obi-Wan do their level best to rescue the big bad of the saga. It’s a smorgasbord of stunning effects, gorgeous sound design and unnecessary quips, and I’ll often just watch this sequence right up until “another happy landing” whenever I need a pick-me-up or the drugs are wearing off.

So much of this film contains my favourite locales; the sinkhole biome of Utapau, the battle in the Senate, and Dante’s fiery planet of Mustafar, complete with unsavoury working conditions and lava fleas. There’s very little in this one that I don’t enjoy — if I had to be nitpicky, then I could highlight the annoying screech of Obi-Wan’s Boga, the usual introduction and too-sudden dismissal of a cool villain (cough, cough), copy/paste wookies, and Padme’s death by heartbreak (since explained away by more dedicated nerds than I), but these are minor issues that do not really detract from the joy.

Nourishing food for the eyes and ears.

9/10

#3 – Star Wars (1977)

I really don’t need to offer a haphazard critique of this indie flick, so instead I’ll bore you with the story of how it has affected every aspect of my life.

I honestly believe I was the prime target for this film. I was 10 when it was released, quite obsessed with monsters and robots through my obsession with Dr. Who, Planet of the Apes, and Harryhausen films, and news of a new space film had been littering my dad’s newspaper for a few months. I still remember the first images I ever saw; the droids in the desert, a stormtrooper on a dewback, and a TIE fighter chasing an X-wing. These images were seared into my noggin and started to dominate my every waking thought even before the film’s release.

The day it opened my best friend and I were determined to see it at our local Romford fleapit, but we had to work a stall at our school fête — disaster! When the fête concluded, we bussed and ran into town, miraculously got some tickets, and bundled into the screening… 20 minutes late.

Yes, the film that has dominated my life began somewhat confusingly. Luckily, those were the days when small kids could go unnoticed by cinema staff, and frequently hopped from film to film. We hung around, and saw the next showing (remember, this was the 70s, when my mum wouldn’t see me from 8am until 8pm and didn’t worry about it), and I was finally able to watch that iconic opening. A star destroyer, blockade runner, escape pod and ride into Mos Eisley only reinforced my instant obsession with the film, and so my fate was sealed.

From that point on, most of my life decisions were based on Star Wars. I went to art college because I was interested in concept design, inspired by RalphMcQuarrie and Colin Cantwell, I got a degree in traditional animation and made monsters, inspired by Phil Tippet and Stuart Freeborn, I met my wife because she acknowledged a Star Wars joke I made while we were teaching together in London, my first-born was named Harrison, some of my most enduring friendships come from the Hyperspace Blogs back in 2004, and I have 40+ massive totes full of bloody merchandise. Enough said.

10/10

#2 – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

There’s a reason why this one tops most lists (not mine because I’m a jerk), and it must be down to the writing and direction.

Now, Uncle George might have supplied the story bones, but Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan put the succulent meat on them, wisely choosing to make this chapter more serious, tragic even, but not at the expense of the thrills. Then Kershner brings a slightly more mature directing style to the whole affair, deftly balancing the humour with the direness of our heroes’ situation.

Then there’s the choice to open with the huge battle, flipping the original film’s structure on its head, and ending with unresolved obstacles and quiet contemplation. This is the only film where I can get on with the ‘Forciness’ of it all. Luke developing his skills, the mystical strength of Yoda, the sheer power of Vader, John Williams’ beautiful theme, all of it stirs my cold heart, and then there’s the space fantasy of it all. The AT-ATs and snow speeders, the Flash Gordonesque beauty of Cloud City, the gargling grime of Dagobah, and then, and then, the single scene of the entire nine-film Skywalker saga that butters my space-toast.

The astute among you might have noticed that I’ve mentioned the asteroid field a couple of times already in previous sections, and I can’t possibly undersell how much this scene affected me. John Williams’ best piece of music, the frenetic rolling of the rocks, the TIE fighter clipping one and spinning off to its destruction, the great swooping flourishes of the Falcon, and going closer (closer? CLOSER? RAUGH!?) to one of the big ones — hell’s teeth, just typing this makes me giddy with glee.

Perfection.

10/10

#1 – Rogue One (2016)

So here we are. My number one Star Wars film (as of writing), a film barely out of short pants and yet it has such a hold on me.

If you’ll recall my statement at the start of this ill-considered exercise, I find the Force and its surrounding paraphernalia the least interesting aspect of the saga; I just want stories of everyday beings existing in that galaxy, drinking their blue milk and keeping their heads down. R1 gave me what I wanted even though there were some religious fanatic overtones from best buds Chirrut and Baze, and ol’ pappy Vader comes swinging in at the end, but for the most part the focus was on regular folk with their own agendas struggling to survive the Imperial regime.

What a bunch they are too; a street womprat with ties to the Empire, a leading figure in the fledgling rebellion, an Imperial defector, a couple of warrior monks, a terrorist, and Alan Tudyk. Despite the derring-do overtones of the story, and the heroic sacrifices that will ultimately lead to a new hope, the story is streaked through with a grey morality that refreshingly challenges the ‘white hat/black hat’ ethos of the other films.

We get the sense that Jyn has honed her skills on the mean streets and this has given her the rough edge she needs to plough through this mission, Cassian’s road to this point has since been well documented, but his introduction (shooting a fellow operative in the back) is out of left field and very welcome. Bodi Rook feels like a character who doesn’t want to be in this story, and Chirrut and Baze hint at a thousand other stories that I desperately want to read/watch.

Saw has been huffing the gas for too long and is a prime example of paranoia personified, and K2SO is Alan Tudyk. Ben Mendlesohn’s Krennic positively oozes efficiency and frustration, and Vader even gets a one-liner in. To top it off the score is an absolute belter, and for my money the battles above, and on the beaches of Scarif are the best of the entire film run. Added bonus of being the only Star Wars flick to make me weep upon every rewatch.

You want the best trilogy of the Star Wars saga? I give you seasons 1 and 2 of Andor followed by Rogue One. Sublime.

10/10

Previous Murky Movie surveys from Neil Baker include:

The Star Warses — Part 1
Just When You Thought It Was Safe
Tech Tok
The Weyland-Yutaniverse
Foreign Bodies
Mummy Issues
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Monster Mayhem
It’s All Rather Hit-or-Mythos
You Can’t Handle the Tooth
Tubi Dive
What Possessed You?

---

See all of Neil Baker’s Black Gate film reviews here. Neil spends his days watching dodgy movies, most of them terrible, in the hope that you might be inspired to watch them too. He is often asked why he doesn’t watch ‘proper’ films, and he honestly doesn’t have a good answer. He is an author, illustrator, teacher, and sculptor of turtle exhibits.