Goth Chick News: Yet Another Reason I Don’t Have Children
I don’t have kids — and while that decision might be rooted in all sorts of deep psychological selfishness, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that horror movies had at least a tiny role in it. You know what I’m talking about: the blank stares, the sing-song voices in the dark, the slow-motion head tilts, and the uncanny way they just know things no normal human should. From the twin terrors of The Shining, to the pale, whispery menace of The Ring’s Samara, to the pint-sized creeper in The Omen: kids in horror are often less adorable munchkins and more pint-sized portals to pure nightmare fuel. So, when I first heard the premise of Zach Cregger’s upcoming film Weapons, I got a full-body chill and immediately put the release date on my calendar. Because this time, it’s not just one creepy kid.
It’s seventeen of them.
All standing up in the middle of the night.
All walking into the darkness.
All vanishing.
Horror fans have been whispering about this one since it was first announced, and if early buzz is to be believed, this could be the genre’s most haunting entry of the year. You might remember Zach Cregger, the twisted mind behind Barbarian, the 2022 sleeper hit that gave us claustrophobia, cannibalism, and an Airbnb from hell. Now, he’s back with something even more ambitious: a horror-mystery described as a “multi-story epic,” emotionally layered and woven together with the same creeping dread we’ve come to expect from his work.
Weapons is set to drop on August 8, 2025, in the U.S. (Germany gets it a day earlier), and it’s already gathering serious critical praise. In fact, it’s holding a perfect 100% on Rotten Tomatoes based on early reviews, with some critics saying it actually surpasses Barbarian. That’s no small feat considering how much Cregger flipped expectations with that film. But this one isn’t just a rehash of past success, it’s something else entirely. Think of it as Magnolia by way of Hereditary: interconnected stories, heavy emotional themes, and moments that leave you disturbed more than startled.
At the center of Weapons is a mystery that’s as chilling as it is surreal. At exactly 2:17 a.m., every child in Mrs. Gandy’s class rises from bed, walks out the front door, and disappears into the night. Every child but one. That single spared student sets off a horrifying chain of events that peels back the layers of grief, suspicion, and something more deeply sinister unfolding in the town of Maybrook. And yes, the vibes are immaculate for us lovers of dark folklore and psychological horror.
The cast is stacked with talent. Julia Garner (The Assistant, Fantastic Four: First Steps) plays Justine Gandy, the tormented teacher thrust into the heart of the mystery. Josh Brolin (Avengers: End Game, Avengers: Infinity War) takes on the role of Archer Graff, a father battling the slow, maddening unraveling of the investigation. Alden Ehrenreich plays a police officer, who just might be the link between Justine’s past and the secrets she’d rather keep buried. And then there’s Benedict Wong, who’s apparently terrifying in a standout scene that’s already been teased online (but beware, the studio is screaming spoiler alert on that one). Supporting performances from Amy Madigan, Austin Abrams, and child actor Cary Christopher help round out a cast that critics say brings both nuance and visceral emotion to the story.
The production itself was kind of a bloodbath: behind the scenes, that is. After Barbarian hit big, every studio wanted a piece of Cregger’s next project. New Line Cinema ended up with the rights, shelling out a cool $38 million for the package, which includes Cregger’s $10 million payday and full creative control (unless the test screenings go completely sideways, which seems unlikely). In other words, this isn’t just another horror flick squeezed into a summer release schedule — it’s a big, bold gamble by a studio willing to let an artist take real risks.
And what’s even more fun for us cyber stalkers? Weapons has been rolling out a cryptic, ARG-style marketing campaign (ARG=Alternative Reality Game). We’re talking fake news reports, creepy teaser sites, and blink-and-you’ll-miss-it clues buried in social media content. It’s perfect for anyone who likes their horror with a side of digital detective work.
This is not a film for the faint of heart, or for anyone hoping to coast on cheap scares and franchise tropes. This is a carefully crafted nightmare; slow-burning, emotionally devastating, and full of the kind of quiet horror that lingers long after the theater lights come back on. The tone leans more psychological than gory, and the storytelling rewards patience and attention. For fans of eerie, high-concept horror who are tired of the usual jump scare treadmill, Weapons might just be the film we’ve been waiting for.
My advice? Skip the full preview clip if you haven’t watched it yet — it gives away more than it should, which is why I’m not including it here as I usually would. And if you haven’t seen Barbarian, maybe give it a rewatch before August 8. Weapons is not a direct sequel, but you might spot some thematic echoes or sly Easter eggs. Either way, make sure Weapons is on your calendar.
This one’s going to leave a mark.
I don’t think there’s anything selfish about the decision to not have children. It’s a considered decision to defy societal expectations and make a life on your own terms and I’ve always deeply respected any woman who makes that call. You might have been a few years ahead of the curve but if statistics indicate anything, there are a lot more women following in your footsteps and not just for economic reasons. Odds are you’ll have a more rewarding career and personal life, particularly if you are in a relationship.
I knew a woman who thought long and hard and decided to have one and only one kid so she could still have space in her life for herself, husband, friends and career. She never regretted it, especially after the endless and offensive queries by zombie women about “When are you going to have the next one?” When asked why she only had one child she delighted in answering with, “Because children are assholes.”
I keep waiting for a generation of women filmmakers to address the issue by unleashing a wave of children themed horror films. One of these days…
Have you ever read Olivie Blake’s “Monsterlove” (short story within the book “Januaries”), Byron? If so, what did you think of it?
I can’t decide if you’d like it or not, given that it partly heartily agrees with your perspective above, partly vastly contradicts your perspective, and wholly adopts the “it’s more complicated than that” approach that most women of my acquaintance take toward the decision to become haves or have-nots of children. It’s an effective illustration of the struggle before, after, and about children.
KJesp – One of the things I love most about writing for BG is not only finding new things to read (I’ll be picking up a copy of “Januaries”), but continuing to discover the layers of discourse among the BG community. Thanks for the comment and the suggestion.
Lord Byron: Your response made me smile is so many ways and there’s enough quotable material here for me to write another post. Maybe its time for me to get started on a short horror story around children, though I sort of feel like M. Night Shyamalan’s mini series “Servant” might have that covered.